The Singles
by BrokenAndDiscarded
Summary: Based on the HBO show *** And The City, but you don't have to be a fan to like my story! Adult situations and bad language; Z/L and N/G pairings. Please read and review! *Chap 5: The girls learn the down-side of judgement and Zelda has a yacht party!*
1. Episode One: Welcome To The Jungle

Author's Note:  
  
Ok I am officially trashing that high school dribble I had started to write! Ra ra for me! What was I thinking basing a story on a teen movie? *Slaps forehead* Its not a bad idea in itself but after, o maybe, a MILLION other people write their own high school Zelda dramas, its just time to move on. Well anyways I vow now to keep my stories for the most part very original. This fanfic is of course inspired by Sex And The City but it still is original in the sense that I am not copying any plot lines from the show and that this is the only story of its kind in the Zelda section of fanfic.net (True? I hope so...).  
  
This is rated R and intended for only mature readers. Though I think I won't go into as much... how shall I say, bedroom affairs as the show does (Sex And The City concentrates on the girls' sex lives, my fic will focus on the dating aspect more), I will no doubt be mentioning it. Plus be prepared for some foul language! Yesa!  
  
So sit back ~ relax ~ and enjoy the show! (Shhh! No talking!)  
  
1  
  
2 The Singles  
  
  
  
By *Jasmine*  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
A dating column. If someone had told me that in a month I would be writing a weekly editorial on the ups and downs of the dating scene I would have told them they were crazy. In fact, I'd probably even have gone so far as to give them the business card of my therapist. After all, I am a single woman in her early twenties brandishing a very poor track record where men are concerned (Or lack there of) and an even worse habit of over-thinking everything. My longest relationship lasted all of two years, for Goddesses' sake, and crashed and burned like a raging inferno. What the Hell kind of business would I have writing a dating column? If anything, I should be band from giving out any type of relationship advice to anyone. Ever.  
  
Yet here I am, Princess Zelda, heir to Hyrule's throne, writing to you. How'd they rope me into doing this day job? - you are probably all now no doubt asking yourselves. My reply - guilt trip. The editor of Hyrule's Weekly Herald (Please send all hate mail, death threats, etc. to this man) approached me and offered me this job because, and I quote, "The people of Hyrule get enough of loud-mouth dating gurus every day on other newspapers. They want to know what a single woman of your stature in society's take is on dating and how you weather through the endless siege of bachelors (I wish!). But most importantly, they desperately want to know that you've dated the same losers and had your heart broken just as they have. As their future Queen, I think you owe them". Well if that wasn't a low blow to the gut! So here I am, suckered into doing this weekly article.  
  
I guess this could be good though, a sort of double-edged sword if you will (Or two-toned dress, if you prefer). Here I am, your soon-to-be ruler, and how much do you really know about me? Nothing except what you glance at in those gossip rags, which I refuse to read unless there is a juicy article about Alien Babies Impregnate Cuccos in it. Do you think my life is just one big celebration gala, where upon I have dozens of handsome intelligent men at my every beck and whim? Not! I hate to burst this Perfect-Princess complex you people may have, but my real life is strikingly like any other. I attend boring political conferences; get pushed around on the streets like anyone else (Most of the time no one even recognizes me), and go on date after date with boring, tasteless cads. Hmm now that first option doesn't sound all that bad...  
  
~ Princess Zelda  
  
2.1  
  
2.2 Episode One: Welcome To The Jungle  
  
  
  
They all sat together at *their* booth, at *their* breakfast dinner. It wasn't any place fancy, it definatly wasn't the up-town expensive restaurants they were all accustomed to frequenting on late night haunts, and there wasn't a martini glass in the whole place. But they'd been going there ever since they'd all become such close friends, rising late on Saturdays from liquor-induced headaches to clamor to Gwendle's Dinner on the corner of fifth and munch on the brunch special of eggs and bacon (Countless calories all packed into one little greasy strip). Waitresses in pink aprons shuffled by with unpleasant demeanors and cheap hot pink lipstick on their faces and the regulars were elderly people and just- starting-out businessmen. It was reeking of smoke and adorned with cheap tacky wallpaper and completely *theirs*.  
  
"So can you believe they have me writing this column?" asked the gorgeous petite blonde over the lip of her coffee cup. She downed bitter dark liquid like it was a shot, feigning away any remaining wisps of sleepiness. Zelda was as everyone knows, the rich daughter of a King, and highly refined by years of finishing school and diplomat classes. Everyone might not know, however, that this same Princess was a caffiene-aholic, sometimes having six a day, and cussed many a man out if he did something not to her liking. Long strands of straight golden hair were held back in a makeshift updo but if they were down it would no doubt stun every male senseless within a five mile radius, for such hair reflected light and cascaded down her shoulders in such a way that it made you sure that it was possibly the only miracle of the Goddesses. Her skin was a perfect cream color and her lips were stained just right with a pale pink hue. Her body was long and slender, her legs sleek and miles in distance. Beautiful as she was, Zelda's intelligence could go toe-to-toe with anyone and she often intimidated men because, as she so eloquently put it, "they let their penises do the thinking and everything upstairs goes on holiday to a timeshare in Lake Hylia".  
  
Nabooru sat across from Zelda and was straightening her fork and knife just right so that they were vertical with the table edge. She glanced up with large brilliant amber eyes and said a bit harshly, "I still don't. Whose the idiot who handed you this job?" The Gerudo was the leader of her desert brethren and was known to take her job very seriously, even if she has since hired a few others to take some of the weight of ruling off her shoulders. Her straight crimson hair, which was even longer than Zelda's, was now held up in a floppy bun at the top of her head and it was apparent by her sweat pants and baggy shirt that this woman could care little about her appearance. Not to say she couldn't afford to dress up some nights in stilettos and body hugging designer jumpsuits, but mostly she preferred tennis shoes and jeans. Nabooru was also very striking with a natural tan some women would kill for and a body long, voluptuous, and powerful. Her facial features were all very sharp however and curt looking, like she never had the time for you. The Gerudo was a little tough at instances and business-like, but that was only the hard outer shell and inside she could often be very witty and charming.  
  
The blonde gave her a sharp look with her icy pale cerulean eyes and exclaimed in mock annoyance, "The editor. He thinks it would be good for Hyrule to get to know their future Queen as an everyday person, experiencing regular dating dramas just as everyone else does... And hey! I resent that, because the editor decides to nominate me - a highly educated and aristocratic woman – as a columnist for his paper, it automatically makes him an idiot!"  
  
Nabooru began to cut her food up into little similar portions and kept up with her critiquing of Zelda's new job venture, "I'm just saying Zelda, he picks you randomly when I'm sure there are dozens of other young journalists straight out of universities who were vying for the job. It seems like all a publicity ploy to get the Princess to write a column for the Herald. You have no credentials, for pities sake!"  
  
Zelda rolled her eyes dramatically and snorted, "Psh. What kind of credentials do you need to be a dating columnist?"  
  
"Having gone on actual dates!" chimed in Ruto who up until now was just a casual observer to the verbal disagreement. The woman wearing an expensive chiffon sweater in an off-white cream added with a raise of her slender, well-manicured eyebrows, "Well sex more than once a month would be nice too." Ruto rolled her fork around the surface of her sunnyside-up egg; somehow she could make anything look sexual. The short young woman had a very full chest and knew how to use it too. Her skin was a delicate pale shimmering shade of blue and her perfectly featured face was further accentuated with a splash of crimson lipstick and heavily mascara-coated eyelashes. Ruto was the daughter of King Zora and next in line to the throne, yet she cared so little for matters of the state you'd think all she ever did was go to fashion shows and visit blaring night clubs, when in fact she did so much more - Ruto *also* slept with men, many men. Some she hardly knew, a few who were brave and rich enough to last over six months in a relationship with her. She found the dating scene very fun and invigorating and had no protests to taking men home... As long as, of course, they had vacation homes at Death Mountain for winter and at Lake Hylia for the summer months.  
  
The Princess of Hyrule gave the young vamp a death look and put down her now empty coffee cup. "O please, now you're just embellishing. I get mine more than once a month, thank you very much..." Zelda grumbled while silently counting in her head the days since she last had a man in her bed. 33 days. Damnit, Ruto was actually right.  
  
Malon was sitting by Nabooru's side and had finally decided to add her voice of encouragement into the little surrey. "You guys, let's try to support Zelda! I think its great that you've gotten this job even if you don't go on many dates," the perky red head said in her high, uplifting voice. Malon's just-past-her-shoulders length silky hair was let free to tumble in bouncy waves down her back and there was a woven scarf around her neck to keep away the bitter morning chill. Her face was pretty in a plain way and she wore minimalist makeup, if any. Though she was short she had hips that were perfectly round and womanly looking. Even if she never would admit it, Malon was very proud of her lower quarters and showed them off as much as possible. The farmer's daughter had since taken over Lon Lon Ranch after her father became too ill to care for it and turned it into a very successful franchise, able to turn in millions of rupees in profit each year. She was now able to afford the high life and did do her fair share of afternoon shopping sprees and dined at the best establishments. Yet Malon nonetheless withheld her bright, down-to-earth attitude and was a bit of a lovesick schoolgirl at times. She still retained this idea of meeting the perfect man and settling down to have a big family, even after going out on countless dates with 'Mr. Wrong'. Somehow everyone knew that there was a paper somewhere in Malon's room that described every little minuet detail about her future perfect wedding, shared with her future perfect husband.  
  
A waitress came over and refilled Zelda's cup as the young woman chortled, "I have plenty of dates! Its hard trying to find a normal, acceptable guy in Hyrule, you all should know since I don't see two out of three of you with solid fundamental relationships at this point. It's like trying to find a damn needle in a stack of poisonous snakes, near to impossible. That's why I'm writing this column, you know. As a way of helping others to know they're not alone out there and that maybe, just maybe, if a Princess still can't find a decent male then they're lives don't suck all that bad in comparison."  
  
Ruto dabbed at her pouty mouth and giggled dryly, "O I like it. You should make that the column motto."  
  
"Ok ok, you've got me," Nabooru sighed, unable to deny that Zelda did have a certain logic. Then she smiled a wide grin and her teeth were all vivid white like fresh ivory soap. "I'm very proud of you Zel, it's a great accomplishment and I know you'll do wonderful, like you always do... Am I forgiven?"  
  
Zelda raised a gilded eyebrow and shrugged, "... Keep going..."  
  
The Gerudo woman added humorously, "And I couldn't think of anyone more intelligent nor with a better sense of fashion to fill the job."  
  
"Ok forgiven. Thanks Nab," the Princess laughed and began to start in on her second cup of dark coffee. She eyed her three friends and inquired, "So what am I going to write about for the first edition? My minds coming up blank sadly."  
  
Malon was digging into breakfast daintily and offered between bites of her egg, "How about men who are afraid to commit." Her tone was miserable and regretful however, as if this wasn't just some randomly thought-up topic.  
  
The blonde haired woman clasped her hands around her warm ceramic mug and soothed to the young Lon Lon Ranch tycoon, "O honey, is Drake still unable to say it?"  
  
The beautiful young woman nodded her head and her deep chocolate eyes were clouded over with annoyance. "Yes! It's getting so frustrating, you guys! We'll be sitting together on the couch, snuggling up and holding hands. I'll lean over and whisper 'I love you' and he doesn't say anything back, he just leaves me hanging there to feel like such a fool! One time he actually responded 'That's nice dear. Can you hand me the remote?'. What the Hell is that? We've been going together for a year now and I'm getting fed up that he's not capable of reciprocating my feelings," Malon admitted in a long-winded flurry of words.  
  
Ruto took a bite out of her bacon and then waved her fork in the air to make her statement in someway more significant. "So what's the big deal? Its just three little words. I've never said it to any man I've ever dated and they've never said it to me, unless of course they were lying which I can spot a mile away, like a fake designer watch," the Zora said. It was true, Ruto could care less if a man said those words to her, in fact she preferred he didn't, because if he did than that would instantly make their relationship more than just a one-night stand. A man once called that out in bed before and she just up and left. Ruto told him that either it was sexual or it was more, and right now all she wanted was sex.  
  
"I don't know. This is a relationship based on more than just the physical so shouldn't it too involve a true emotion like love? If he doesn't say 'I love you' it could mean that he doesn't feel that way and you both may have totally opposite views on this thing you've got going," Zelda rebutted and gave Ruto a sideways glance.  
  
Of course Nabooru disagreed. She was finishing up the last remaining pieces of her perfectly cut egg and the Gerudo woman said, her bun moving with each movement of her head to flop against her scalp, "Of course you'd feel that way just like Malon would. You know why? You two are hopeless romantics. Sometimes relationships aren't storybook and the man and woman don't instantly fall in love at the same exact time. It may just take Drake longer to feel that way about you than it took for you to feel that way about him. I mean, let's be honest Malon, you see a cute puppy on the street and tell it 'I love you'. Some people just aren't like that." Nabooru for instance wasn't like that; she hadn't told anyone those three words in three years, when she broke up with her long-time boyfriend and most serious relationship. After they split ways, it was like she lost all faith in the male race or something because she never gives any man a chance with her and on the rare occasion she does, she always finds something wrong about him (Her last boyfriend lasted two weeks until she decided his laugh was just too damn annoying).  
  
Malon sighed dejectedly and pushed her plate away from her. "Maybe you're right, Drake may just need some more time. I'm getting sick of waiting though," she reasoned and flipped her red hair so that it flickered through the air like a candle flame, springing back with big beautiful volume.  
  
Ruto began to collect up her handbag and said, "Well, my three darlings, I have a noon rendezvous I just can't be late for."  
  
Zelda glanced at the Zora with an interested look, raising her eyebrows, and inquired, "Would this 'rendezvous' happen to be a dark haired carrier of the y-chromosome?"  
  
The young Zora Princess smiled devilishly and proclaimed, "No, he has light hair and he's a surgeon..." Then she raised herself up from the padded booth and said, "And that's all your getting until happy hour! Ta ta ladies!" Ruto gave a brief wave before sauntering out of the dinner.  
  
Nabooru stretched out her long spindly arms above her head and rose from her set as well. "That's my cue to leave too. I have to go jog and get this bacon off my hips," she sighed.  
  
The Princess of Hyrule shook her head and muttered, "O please. If eating bacon was the way you gained those curves I think I'll be stopping by the butcher today and buying myself a whole pig."  
  
The Gerudo chuckled, "Look around, this cities full of them. Alright bye, girls." Then Nabooru began to speed walk out of the dinner, her bun bobbing along.  
  
"I have to go and work on that article," Zelda said with a look of forlorn and deposited her empty cup on the table, smeared with a rim of lip gloss that bounced back light in their eyes. "Besides I just reached my morning limit of two cups. Any more and I'd have to join Coffee Anonymous," she joked.  
  
Malon laughed and followed her friend as the two stood from the booth. She tightened the scarf around her neck and said, "Guess I'm leaving then also. Time to go over to Drake's apartment and sneak attack an 'I love you' on him. Maybe he'll be so shocked he'll actually say it back."  
  
The blonde gave Malon a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and said, "Bye. Good luck."  
  
"Ya bye. I'm going to need it," the red head confessed and then the two friends left Gwendle's Dinner together.  
  
*  
  
Zelda opened the heavy doors to her apartment complex and entered in from the morning chill, rubbing her hands together for warmth. Yes, this *was* her apartment complex, and no, she *wasn't* living in the Castle. Her father had agreed to let her leave the confines of the palace walls when she was twenty to allow her to better experience life. Zelda further persuaded him by telling him she needed to undergo as close to normal life as possible to further relate with her subjects and blossom into a fair and just Queen. Of course, the King had also made sure that her loft was only a block away from the Castle and she had plenty of security guards and cameras all around her at all times. But as Zelda had reassured her father at many instances, she could take care of herself. The Princess had come to look at this loft as a way of transforming and growing, to find some independence... O ya, and "I'm twenty-three and I live with my dad still" isn't exactly conducive to hooking up with a man.  
  
Suddenly Zelda saw Link emerge from the staircase, a huge plastic tub overflowing with soiled clothes in his arms. He caught sight of her right away and a lopsided, melt-your-heart-and-then-sponge-it-up smile spread across his face. "O fancy meeting you here huh?" he called to her as he strode over to meet her by the middle of the lobby. Link of course, lived a floor below the Princess; the King had claimed it was an accident but Zelda knew better. After all, what better security could you have then if you were neighbors with the Hero of Time? Link had the good looks that were near to perfection. His hair was just the right shade of a sandy blonde and nearly always disheveled, giving him that sexy just-out-of-bed look. His eyes were a piercing dark blue, the type you could get lost in, and his face was so handsome, with a rugged kind of flair. Link's body was tan and sculpted very well, on some occasions the Princess had been able to catch glances as he stumbled out of his apartment early in the morning dressed only in boxers to get his newspaper. He now wore a simple pair of worn, dirty denim pants and a loose tee shirt, sandals with a pair of white socks on his feet; and yet for as casual as the ensemble was (No doubt just picked off the floor and thrown on, entirely done in a sleep-induced stupor), he wore them all too well.  
  
Zelda gave him a friendly smile and said sarcastically, "I know gosh. You'd think we lived in the same building or something." If it was any other man, she might have been embarrassed being caught in her sloppy morning attire of simple low-slung jeans and a long sleeve shirt, but this was Link after all. They had become such close friends since she'd moved in, sometimes sharing lonely Friday nights together pathetically watching the movie of the week and eating galloons of ice cream. Of course it didn't matter what she wore because he always looked at her like she was more beautiful than the last time they met.  
  
"I know, freaky," he added and stopped before her, bin and all. Link's wit was so much like her own; goofy, dry, and strange. "O hey, congratulations on the new journalist job!" he suddenly exclaimed with genuine enthusiasm.  
  
The Princess gave him a suspicious look and said, "Thanks. Who leaked the information?"  
  
Link shrugged and gestured over to the reception desk. There sitting upon it was a gigantic flower arrangement in a white wicker basket, all ivory hued roses. "Those are for you. I read the note...For security reasons of course; I'm not a peeping Tom or anything," he said and spluttered the last part defensively.  
  
Zelda glanced at the basket and laughed at Link's unsure stammer. "I didn't think you were," she replied and then rolled her clear pale blue eyes, grumbling in annoyance, "Goddesses, I move out and my dad still finds ways to embarrass me."  
  
The young blonde man shook his head and corrected, "No they're not from the King. They're from some guy named Bronton."  
  
The Princess's eyes went wide and her heart suddenly jumped into her throat. Scratch that, her heart actually took two martinis and went to bed with a headache. Bronton was Zelda's last boyfriend, the last man she'd slept with in 33 days exactly. They'd been seeing each other for close to a year but she'd never mentioned anything to Link. They very rarely spoke of specific girlfriends or boyfriends with one another, that way no one would be embarrassed if they ended up getting dumped by their current flame. And Zelda had been dumped by Bronton. *Hard*.  
  
Zelda didn't say anything and Link knew not to ask questions about the mystery man by the look of hurt and shock flashing across the young woman's beautiful face. "So what are you writing for the paper?" the young man finally asked to break the silence settling uncomfortably around them  
  
The blonde woman tried to shake off her feeling of sadness but there was still a tinge of it in her voice when she answered, "Uh believe it or not, a dating column."  
  
Link seemed a little taken aback and could only manage to utter, "O wow..."  
  
Zelda could not help but smile at his dumbstruck response. "Ya I know, wow. I mean, after all I'm not one who should be allowed to give my views on dating or anything remotely concerning relationships. I don't even date all that much," the young Princess relinquished without shame.  
  
The Hero of Time gave her a disbelieving glance and retorted, "Well that's not because all the guys in Hyrule aren't chasing you, which they are. Just because you're picky."  
  
The woman laughed, a sound so sweet and real that it touched anyone that heard it, and faked indignant, "Hey! For one, all the men in Hyrule are so not chasing me! Do you see a line of eligible bachelors at my door? Because I sure don't. And another thing, I am not picky! Its just that every guy in Hyrule has something wrong with him."  
  
Link found Zelda's laugh contagious and began to chuckle himself. "Come on, there has to be some good ones... Look at me," he boasted in jest, without a hint of bashfulness.  
  
Zelda shook her head, long strands of flaxen hair falling loose from the clasp and into her face. She sighed, "You're a rare breed, my friend. The fact is, if they're a single man, they either have some horribly grotesque malfunction or they're gay. It's just the simple cold facts."  
  
Link eyed the girl before him and said with skepticism, "I'd like to see the data compilations on that one."  
  
The Princess pressed her supple lips together and replied, "Sorry, it's only disclosed to females. After all, we are the ones who suffer from the lack of good males."  
  
"Is that so?" the young man said and could not help but laugh at Zelda's humor.  
  
The blonde looked away, at the floors of creamy marble blocks, and finally admitted, "But I guess writing this won't be so bad, it can be a learning experience for me. I want my future subjects to get to know the real me, ya know? They all see me as some super-human, blonde crown rack, and not the person I am beneath the title. I guess I just want them to know I'm human." Then she looked up to match Link's gaze of intense blue with flecks of emerald green caught dancing in them.  
  
The man did not make any attempt to avert his stare and kept it pressed on Zelda, both comforting and somehow there was also a tinge of passion there. "I understand. Sometimes I feel the same because I'm the Hero of Time and that's all people ever see me as. I'm more than that but most often women don't even want to get to know me. They just want to be able to say 'I dated the Hero of Time'," Link said and there was melancholy in his tone. Finally, after what seemed like minutes, he broke their gaze and said with a sigh, "Hey, I wish I could talk more but I have to run this bin down to the laundry mat."  
  
Zelda bit back a giggle and responded, "Hm yes I can smell that."  
  
Link agreed with a nod and added, pushing his bin closer to her so she could catch a good whiff, "I'd like to stay longer but I'm afraid I'd risk endangering your health. All right, see you around Zelda."  
  
The blonde waved and said, "Alright see you."  
  
The Hero of Time began to walk past Zelda, over to where the tall doors now stood, when he suddenly turned around on his heels. He called to her with a humorous look in his eyes, "And o ya, I think you'll do a great job as a columnist. Anyone who can trade banter with me deserves their own column or a purple heart, don't you think?"  
  
The Princess chuckled and broke into a dazzling, beautiful smile. "I guess so," she said and watched as Link turned and disappeared out the doors.  
  
*  
  
Closing Note: And that, my friends, is the beginning! What do you think? I'm trying not to put too much sex in there; I don't really care for that (But with Ruto I really can't avoid it!). I hope you like the personalities I assigned the characters fitting each one to a lady of Sex And The City. This was just the brief intro; there will be much more to come. There will be a few more characters coming your way... O ya, and expect to see a lot more of Link in the next chapters! Hehe ^_^ 


	2. Episode Two: Ex - Ed

Author's Note:  
  
This fanfic is of course inspired by Sex And The City but it still is original in the sense that I am not copying any plot lines from the show and that this is the only story of its kind in the Zelda section of fanfic.net (True? I hope so...). Also you don't have to watch the show to read this fic.  
  
This is rated R and intended for only mature readers. Though I think I won't go into as much... how shall I say, bedroom affairs as the show does (Sex And The City concentrates on the girls' sex lives, my fic will focus on the dating aspect more), I will no doubt be mentioning it. Plus be prepared for some foul language! Yesa!  
  
This is somewhat like an alternate universe fic because Ganon was never sent to the Sacred Realm (Hey I had to find some way to hook him and Nabby up didn't I?). Also they have televisions, phones, laundry mats, etc. Possible relationships are Z/L and N/G.  
  
So sit back ~ relax ~ and enjoy the show! (Shhh! No talking!)  
  
1  
  
2 The Singles  
  
  
  
By *Jasmine*  
  
  
  
*  
  
Relationships may be hard; at times they can be downright painful. There is only one thing worse than sticking it out through all the tough times and that's *not* sticking it out. Yes, I'm talking about the dreaded break up. Whether your ex dumped you or vice versa, you were going out for a year or maybe just a week (Or in the case of some of my less prouder moments, all of happy hour), it is still painful. But maybe this little guide I have can help you to know the different phases of post break-up that you will experience. My friends and I have come up with a rather accurate system of stages we typically go through after a relationship has bit the dust and they are as follows:  
  
Stage 1 – Regret. Remember how when you were a child and your parents would get in a fight? Usually it would end with your mother sobbing and saying she was sorry. Often we end up blaming ourselves for problems in the relationship, even if the past girl or boyfriend was, simply put, an ass. "If only I hadn't been so needy/tried to change him/ hated his mother. Then we'd never have broken up". We laden ourselves with guilt trips, mulling over every little encounter and fight to find something we did wrong. Sometimes though we should just let go of the past, there is nothing we can change about it, and take comfort in the fact that your ex is probably suffering just as much as you are (Or hopefully more).  
  
Stage 2 - Denial. Many people feel after being broken up with are those stupid delusions we wish deep down would come true (And sometimes we believe will come true). How many times have you thought after another creep broke your heart "O we'll be back together tomorrow. I'll see him in the deli/mall/opera and he'll realize how much he misses me". Sickening fantasies of the two of you running through a field of flowers and straight into each other's arms, accompanied by slow sappy music and all, may fill your head. You may even go so far as to plan a trip to the laundry mat just to *accidentally* bump into your ex in hopes of rekindling your lost flame. And, women, we've all received at one time or another a late night message on our machine from a rather intoxicated ex were he slurs that he still loves you and wants to get back together before he hangs up the phone to go puke and then pass out. Whatever you do or dream about doing, it often results in failed attempts and even further pain. The fact is, as much as movies and romantic novels tell us otherwise, a break up is usually final. Nothing, besides maybe a glass of wine, can soften that fact.  
  
Stage 3 – Misery. Ah yes, and now we're at the last, and final stage – all- powerful grief. Do you remember that old saying, "Misery loves company"? Well I'm here now to tell you it's a *lie*. The best thing to do after a break-up is to stay home, hole up like a hermit, and just wallow for a while. Some people think they need to move on and bite back their tears, but how can you ever get past your sadness if you don't face it head on? Rent a good chick/testosterone flick (The kind you could never watch with your boy/girlfriend), eat ice cream, and shred all the remaining pictures of you together, were you looked happy and he/she looked sexy. Make time for your misery and then, after you've had a good cry, move on. After all, there's another relationship waiting for you to cry over.  
  
~ Princess Zelda  
  
  
  
2.1.1 "Episode Two: Ex - Ed"  
  
  
  
Zelda sat alone cross-legged on her ivory sofa, dressed in a pair of stripped slacks and a white button down shirt. The noon sun illuminated her apartment and high rafters, giving the sparse loft a very ethereal feel to it. Her brown leather messenger bag lay sprawled out on the glossy wood floor and her cordless phone lay several inches from the young woman. Zelda stared at it for a solid moment, keeping her distance as if it was some sort of traceless bomb. Then gathering up her courage, the slender Princess raised her chin in determination and grasped the phone. She pushed a strand of long flaxen hair behind her ear and pressed down the speed dial button, silently praying he wouldn't pick up.  
  
Finally there was a click on the end of the line and a strong low male voice could be heard, "Hello, you've reached Bronton."  
  
Zelda's pale blue eyes went wide and obviously she was less sure of herself than she thought because she spoke in a quivering voice, mentally slapping herself for sounding so weak, "Hey Bronton. It's me, Zelda."  
  
There was a visible change in the mood of her ex and he exclaimed, surprised and almost giddily, "Zelda! How are you?"  
  
"Fine. I'm just calling to thank you for the flowers you sent me. They're beautiful," she replied, glancing over at the bouquet of large white roses, all blooming, on her coffee table.  
  
Bronton said, "O yea, well my secretary sent them. It seems you were still on my date book as a person to send congratulation roses too..."  
  
Zelda's mouth gaped open as she replied, "O..." Her heart did a sky dive and plummeted to the pit of her stomach. So these flowers weren't from Bronton as a sign of his undying love for her, a way of saying he wanted her back. No, they were from his old secretary, Mrs. Basely. Just *peachy*. After a long pause, Zelda finally managed to say, "So your secretary sent them. Of course." She mentally slapped herself again for being such an idiot in thinking Bronton would even care about her anymore.  
  
"Of course what?" the man across the line asked.  
  
The Princess shook her head and sighed, "Uh nothing. Look I have to - " She desperately wanted to hang up the phone and bury her head in the couch cushions.  
  
"Zelda, I'm having this big party at my loft on Thursday. I know its short notice but I'd really like you to come," Bronton suddenly spluttered.  
  
Zelda didn't know what to say. "Uh..." was her most intelligent reply. A party for what? To celebrate their breakup? She could just imagine him toasting with his buddies, laughing about finally getting rid of the ol' ball-and-chain.  
  
Bronton added a little nervously, "It will only be a small thing, friends and drinks. I'd really like you to come though. As, you know, a friend of course..."  
  
The young woman's mind fumbled with the idea of going to his party. She had to bring someone along for emotional support; she couldn't face Bronton alone, not after the way they'd left things on such bad terms. "Would you mind if I brought someone with me?" she inquired.  
  
"O..." came the voice over the line, tinged with an unreadable emotion. "Sure, you can bring a date."  
  
Zelda said softly, "Not a date - just someone."  
  
Bronton seemed to grow a little more enthusiastic, "Ok, we always have room for more people. All right Zel, I have to go now but I'll see you Thursday right?" He used his pet name for her, the one he said when they sat snuggling together, when he'd touch her hair, when he'd smile at her. Goddesses, she hated that nickname right now.  
  
"Ya Thursday. Bye Bronton," she said and then listened as he clicked off the phone. Zelda looked down at the phone and began to dial another number.  
  
*  
  
Link padded out of his bathroom, his strong chest and shoulders glistening from a moist shower. His blond hair lay in soggy tendrils on his forehead and a terry cloth towel was wrapped low on his waist. His apartment was very large, much bigger than that tree house he'd been living in when he was a boy, and it was paid for by the royal family after he'd offered to protect the Princess. The floors were all polished wood and there were tall windows with long curtains, the rafters however were burnished steel, giving his loft a decisively male feel.  
  
Suddenly the phone rang and he walked over to his end table, little droplets of water falling to bead against the floor. Lifting the phone to his ear he said, in typical Link fashion, "Ello?"  
  
"Go to a party with me on Thursday," came the rushed, urgent voice of a familiar female.  
  
Link raised a thick gilded eyebrow and responded dryly, "Hey Zelda. It's good hearing from you too."  
  
The girl on the other line gave a sigh and he was sure she was rolling her eyes at this moment, "I'm serious Link. Please please *please* go to this party with me on Thursday."  
  
The young man asked suspiciously, "Why do you want me to go? We've never gone to a party before together."  
  
Zelda grumbled, "Ugh ok I see your going to force me to confess."  
  
"Hey if you want me to go its gonna cost you. Now spill the beans, dirty Harry," Link replied cheekily.  
  
The Princess began, "You remember those flowers I got on Monday? Well they were from this guy Bronton, who I dated for almost a year..."  
  
Link interrupted abruptly, "How come I never heard about him?"  
  
Zelda responded, "You know we never tell each other the specifics of our love lives. To protect the identities of the innocent and all that."  
  
"O yea true. Go on," the Hero of Time said.  
  
The blonde haired woman continued, "Well we broke up 40 days ago..."  
  
Again however she was interrupted by Link as he asked, amused, "You keep count?"  
  
"Yes! Now may I proceed?" Zelda exclaimed irately and, he was sure, rolled her eyes for the second time.  
  
"Sorry. Go ahead," Link apologized.  
  
The Princess went on telling her plight, "He dumped me because he said we were getting too involved and he didn't want to get tied down just then. So anyway I called him back just now to thank him for the flowers - as a normal, polite person kinda thing and not an ex girlfriend looking for a chance to talk to her old flame kinda thing - and he completely surprised me with an invitation to his party. You know I can't show up alone to this bash and look like a loser in front of my old boyfriend..."  
  
The young man ran a hand through his tousled wet hair and asked with a chuckle, "So you want revenge on the poor bastard huh?"  
  
He could almost hear the sadistic, evil-genius grin slide over Zelda's beautiful face as she replied, "Exactly, show no mercy. And I plan to do that by arriving, looking simply radiant and sexy..."  
  
"Accompanied by a sexy escort of course," Link added.  
  
Zelda said jokingly, "Uh something like that... So will you help me out here Link? I know you don't like the parties I go to but will you do me this one, itsy-bitsy favor? We can go strictly as friends." It was true that Link did not like the galas Zelda and her friends went to, thrown by fashion editors and the like. They were always stuffed with snobby high- society types who probably never drank a beer in their lives and survived entirely on sushi.  
  
Link let out an exasperated sigh, knowing he couldn't refuse Zelda even if he tried, and begrudgingly responded, "Fine. But you owe me so big for this one."  
  
"Yes! Thank you so much! You are the best!" the Princess practically shrieked.  
  
The Hero of Time cringed and said, "I know, I know. I expect your first born to be named after me now."  
  
Zelda laughed and blabbered happily, "Ok, I'll do my best but at the rate I'm going that won't occur until the next millennium. O and Link, wear those black slacks with that dark blue shirt, it really brings out your eyes. No sandals, they just scream poor young college student. Pick me up at eight and don't be late, o ya and bring me a rose, a red one! Now I have to go shopping for something to wear so bye bye!" Then, finishing her whirlwind of words, the young woman hung up the line, busy no doubt by planning every detail of her outfit and what exactly she would say to her ex.  
  
Link pulled the phone from his ear and scratched his head in confusion. What had he just agreed to? He knew somehow though, whatever it was, he'd end up regretting it.  
  
  
  
*  
  
  
  
Nabooru was running down a path that wound its way through the green landscape, her breath rhythmic and loud in her ears. The sun shown golden and vivid above upon Hyrule Park, as the young woman passed trees and a child chasing her puppy. The tan Gerudo wore tight black running pants and a sweatshirt; her long crimson hair was tied back into a sweeping ponytail that swished with her movements. She wasn't really thinking of anything, this was her release from all the stress of the day. Running was like her own private sanctuary.  
  
She was falling into a nice pace when a man suddenly saddled up to the side of her, running along with her. At first she didn't bother glancing over at him, hoping he'd go away.  
  
However he didn't and finally said cheerfully, "Hi. Nice weather we're having today huh?"  
  
Nabooru chanced a look in his direction and noticed how strikingly handsome he was. The man had short red hair that was combed back neatly and piercing dark eyes that looked at her and held a hint of mischief and arrogance. He had the look of an older mature man without looking too old, he was probably somewhere around twenty-eight or so. He was tall, olive skinned, and well built under that expensive business suit he wore; he looked as if he was no stranger to a gym. The young woman gave a small smirk and said as if she didn't even hear his previous statement, "Do you always jog in a suit and tie?"  
  
Without missing a step, the man began to reply, "No -"  
  
Nabooru finished his sentence with a bit of cynicism, "Just when you want to hit on women then?" If he thought she was going to be some simple giggling nitwit he could easily pick up with a one liner then he had another thing coming.  
  
The handsome man gave her a mock shocked, aghast look and said, "I'm personally offended! How dare you accuse me of abusing my runner's integrity!" Then a dashing smile overcame his features and he chuckled, "My names Ganondorf Dragmire by the way." He outstretched a hand to her in an offer of greetings but she ignored it entirely.  
  
"My name's Nabooru," the red headed woman said and kept up her pace, looking ahead.  
  
Ganondorf pointed over at a tall grey building jutting out against the skyline and said, "I work in that legal building over there and I always see you running during my lunch break. I decided I had to stop admiring you from afar and just talk to you one time, Nabooru."  
  
Nabooru inquired, seemingly unimpressed, "So you're a lawyer then huh?"  
  
"Yup, sad but true," the tall man sighed and then asked, "So what do you do, mystery woman?"  
  
The woman smirked and didn't even spare him a glance. "I only just met you and you expect me to give you my whole life story?" she retorted snidely. She knew exactly how she was coming off and it could be summed up in one word: bitch. Not that she cared; all she wanted to do was jog.  
  
Ganondorf seemed surprisingly undaunted by Nabooru's coldness towards him. He laughed and admitted, "No. All I really want to know, to be honest, is if you're single."  
  
Nabooru gave a smug chuckle and said sarcastically, "Hm you certainly are subtle, aren't you?"  
  
"You didn't answer my question..." the lawyer said, with a smile that showed he was just as stubborn as Nabooru could be.  
  
The red head picked up her pace and yet he just matched suit. In frustration the woman huffed, "Yes I am single, if you must know."  
  
"Join me for drinks tonight," Ganondorf suddenly said.  
  
Nabooru turned her head fully to him for the first time, looking incredulous at the man. "Excuse me?" she asked in surprise.  
  
The man gave her a sincere look and repeated, "Join me for drinks tonight. You're single, I'm single, and I'd really like to get to know you." Then a soft half-smile creased over his lips, so very honest and attractive that Nabooru was disgusted to find herself melting for him. "So join me for drinks tonight please."  
  
Nabooru stared at him for a moment before turning her head again and increasing her jog even more until she was at a moderate run now. "Look you seem like a really good guy, Ganondorf, but I'm not looking to date right now, especially with a man I don't even know. Thanks for the offer but I'm going to have to decline," she uttered bitterly.  
  
Ganondorf knew he could keep up with her but what was the point if she only wanted to run away? He gave it one more chance as he called while slowing to a stop, "Who hurt you?"  
  
The young woman halted almost immediately, digging her sneakered heels into the pavement. She turned around to give him an annoyed glance and snorted, "Wow. You really are the master of abrupt statements aren't you?"  
  
The man continued, "You just seem really defensive, like someone hurt you in the past."  
  
"I don't think that's any of your business - " Nabooru said firmly, though her amber eyes gave him his answer, that she had indeed been hurt. In fact, she'd been killed. By the man who she'd once given her heart to and the only one she'd ever said, "I love you" to. What had all her devotion gotten her? A slap in the face, that's what. He'd ended up cheating on her with some woman and it had killed her. She didn't want that to ever happen again.  
  
Ganondorf interrupted her and his tone was somewhat gentle, as if he too had been there before, "... And if someone did I just want to say you shouldn't write every male off as an asshole because one guy was before. It's just a drink, no tricks, no obligations. Just give me a chance."  
  
The tall, tan skinned woman met his eyes, the depthless black orbs, and found something faint there to trust. Maybe he was right; maybe she had to give the male race another chance. She'd been alone for far too long anyway, and some part of her wanted to say yes to this charismatic man. "... Fine. But just drinks and nothing more," she finally relinquished.  
  
A perfect grin overcame the handsome man's face and he nodded his head of fiery red hair. "That's all I ask. Meet me at McCoy's at eight," he replied joyously.  
  
Nabooru smiled herself and asked incredulously, "Do you always ask random women out that you pick up in parks?"  
  
Ganondorf gave her a swoon-worthy wink and drawled, "Just the ones who are exquisitely beautiful and look like they could be interesting." Then he turned and began to walk away. "See you at eight, Nabooru. You better not stand me up!" the man called over his shoulder as he crossed a rolling hill and was lost from sight.  
  
The young woman watched him go. He seemed like he had a bit of a player streak in him, capable of one-night stands. There was also a side to him she found very alluring; self-confident, courageous, and yet gentle at the same time. What was the harm in a drink anyway? She told herself.  
  
*  
  
Night ebbed over the city quickly, sealing it in a dark veil of stars. The swollen moon hung up high, bathing the buildings in a luminescent glow. The streets of Hyrule were unusually silent; people all clamoring within bars or at late night dinner parties. Two lone souls made their way down a cold sidewalk, side by side, their footsteps echoing eerily against the cement.  
  
Zelda hobbled along in tall platform sandals that tied at the ankle, she was adorned in a short tailored suede jacket and a floral patterned chiffon dress, that reached just about mid thigh to reveal long creamy legs, floating over her slender frame. Her long blonde hair was pulled half up and a piece was plaited into a braid, to give her that sort of hippie look so chic this season. She glanced over at Link and a smile spread over her beautiful face, decorated in minimalist makeup. "Hey, I didn't say this earlier but I'm impressed Link. You actually look very suave tonight," she said in admiration.  
  
Link walked beside her and what she said was very true. He was wearing the outfit she had so adamantly suggested, the black pants and dark blue shirt that matched the color of his opalescent eyes. His hair was still a bit disheveled though but it simply added to his charm. "Thanks. You look very beautiful too," he said as he looked over at her and she thought she saw him blush a pale pink. Then he hastily added, "So how long are we going to stay for?"  
  
"No more than an hour. I just want to make a brief but stunning entrance and then leave," the Princess replied. "Goddesses, I'm freezing! I swear, the things I do in the name of revenge," she exclaimed and hugged her arms to herself, suddenly aware how thin this jacket really was.  
  
The young blond man put a comforting arm around her and pulled Zelda a little closer to him. "Yes but think of the look on this Bronton guy's face when he sees you, hand in hand of course with most handsome man at the party," he joshed lightly and got her laughing. He was so close he could smell her sweet delicate perfume and her hair brushed his cheek gently.  
  
"I hope he dies when he sees us," she admitted with a slight giggle.  
  
Before they knew it, and Zelda was fully prepared, they had come to Bronton's apartment complex. Being as successful as he was in the advertising business, her ex had actually come to own the whole building, giving him more space to throw a great party that would no doubt be talked about for weeks after. They stood before his door and could hear music blasting from inside, mixed with laughter. Zelda gulped, "You do it." So without a word of reply, Link reached over and gave the wood a solid knock, unsure if they would even be able to hear it over the din.  
  
Surprisingly, and to Zelda's dismay, after a moment the door opened all the way, allowing bright light to pour out and the noise to fully wash over them. A man, medium in stature, stood in front of them. He had a mane of full brown hair and thick defined eyebrows that gave him a very manly, exotic appearance, his eyes were a sharp green color that sparkled and became electric. His skin was pale and he dressed in a designer outfit of a thin grey sweater and black slacks, making him appear as if he himself had just come from a clothing advertisement. He gave a big brilliant grin and said, upon viewing the blonde before him, "O hello Zelda! Its so nice of you to come!"  
  
The Princess stood there, dumbstruck. She thought she was over him, but why then was she seeing him now in slow motion, as he placed a warm hand firmly on her shoulder? What was wrong with her; why was her heart racing? Her pallid cerulean eyes were locked with his and she couldn't shift them. Zelda finally managed to stammer out, "H-Hi Bronton..."  
  
They stood like this for a long minute before Link elbowed her slightly and cleared his throat. Zelda broke their gaze then to glance over at Link and she said humbly, "Uh yes and this is my friend, Link."  
  
Bronton looked over at Link and offered him a vigorous handshake. "Hello Link. Any friend of Zelda is a friend of mine. Please come in," he said warmly and moved from the doorway to allow them entrance. The Princess could see Link giving her a hard, confused look out of the corner of her eye but she pretended to disregard it.  
  
They could see women all in expensive fashion and dripping with jewelry standing around chatting with friends and potential bedmates later on. The lighting was soft yet a stark contrast to the darkness of the outdoors and blaring jazz music played from a stereo system.  
  
As they moved their way through the crowd, following Bronton's lead, Link grabbed Zelda's arm and she turned to face him. "What was that? I thought we agreed I was supposed to be your boyfriend for the night?" he whispered and glared at her in anger.  
  
The young woman averted her eyes, feeling a bit of guilt for finding herself falling for Bronton again, and shrugged, "I changed my mind..."  
  
Link's eyes were wide now and he inquired in puzzlement, "What ever happened to getting your fair revenge?"  
  
Zelda glanced back at him now and bite her soft pink lip. "Link, just go get me a drink already ok?" she said and then turned to follow Bronton into the congested room.  
  
The young man stood there watching her go before clenching his jaw in rage and storming over to the drink bar. She had made him go to this boring party and now she was ditching him? He decided though to stick it out, maybe it wasn't entirely Zelda's fault, after all everyone acts weird around their ex. He got them both a Gin and Tonic and then began to walk back to were Zelda was.  
  
The Princess had already disposed of her jacket in a closet and was standing before Bronton, batting her lashes and flirting unabashedly. She flipped her golden hair and was telling some story that obviously had the man in an uproar. Link approached her and said, "Zelda, here's your drink."  
  
The young woman turned to him and took the drink without even really looking at him. "Thanks," she weakly acknowledged before facing Bronton again, smiling charmingly, "... So anyway, were was I?"  
  
Link found himself unable to control his anger anymore and he silently fumed. She was ignoring him and there was also something else infuriating him, he couldn't deny it pained him to see Zelda flirting with another man. "I'm going home," he gritted flatly.  
  
Zelda actually heard this statement and glanced in his direction. "Link, what's the matter? Is everything ok?" she asked in general concern.  
  
"Yes, I'm fine. Just go back to telling your story and I'll see you later," he responded coldly but she knew him long enough to recognize that storm cloud in his intense blue eyes. Then he turned and pushed his way through the crowd.  
  
*  
  
Drake sat on his thickly padded chair, the reading lamp glowing beside him to give off golden light and chase away the lonesome shadows that stayed skulking in the corners. Drake was an impressive looking man with light brown hair and amber eyes flecked with gold. His physique was moderately built and adorned in a comfortable pair of jeans and a sweatshirt, worn loafers on his feet. His apartment was slightly on the smaller side but well furnished, obviously by an interior decorator since everyone knows guys can't furnish a room to save their lives (^_~).  
  
The sound of a key turning in the lock echoed out across the silent tranquil room, bolts gritting against bolts, and Drake looked up to the doorway. He called, "Malon, is that you?"  
  
A young woman entered, long crimson hair glimmering in the sparse light, and she wore a white windbreaker lined with a rim of faux fur and khaki pants. Her smile shown even in the darkness and she hurriedly dropped her shopping bags on the ground, placing Drake's apartment key that he had given her into her pocket. As she unzipped her jacket, she said in her sweet caring voice, "Yes, honey. I hope you don't mind I came over for a visit but I was close by, shopping, and I decided I wanted to pay my baby a visit."  
  
The young man was grinning as he replied, "Of course I don't mind. It was getting pretty boring over here without you anyway."  
  
Malon eagerly let her coat slide off to join her bags strewn on the floor and then walked over to where Drake was, sitting on his lap with her legs draped over his arm and he wound his other arm around her waste. She wrapped her slender arms around his neck and looked into his handsome face, her affection shinning in her dark eyes. "How was your day?" she inquired.  
  
"All right, the stock market is having a good run..." Drake said and then, rubbing her back with his warm touch, he sighed, "I missed you though."  
  
The young woman nodded slightly and said, "I know. I missed you too."  
  
She sat there staring into his eyes and he could see a million feelings all flashing in her. They sat like this for a moment before Drake, silently frightened of what he was almost sure was to follow, questioned with a feigning look of mock happiness on his face, "What are you thinking about, dear?"  
  
Malon kept his gaze as she replied softly, "That I love you."  
  
Drake said nothing in answer, his smile already disappearing from his lips, and he shifted his gaze a bit, as if he too was in thought.  
  
"I knew you weren't going to say anything back," the young red head whispered softly and a sheen overcame her beautiful deep eyes.  
  
Malon's boyfriend tried to comfort her and explain himself at the same time, "Malon, its not that I don't care for you. It's just... I'm not ready yet to say that." There was a hint of guilt in his voice, regret that Drake couldn't be that perfect boyfriend that she so desperately wanted.  
  
The young woman said with a deep breath, holding back tears, "I understand."  
  
Drake's smile returned slightly and he said in a relieved tone, "Good because I care for you so much, Malon. I know in time I'll be able to say it, but if I said it now it would be a lie and I can't do that to you."  
  
Malon looked away, the golden light caressing the gentle curves of her smooth pale cheek. "I care for you too Drake. That's why I'm finding it impossible to do what I'm about to do..." she responded and her voice was trembling uncontrollably. She took a deep breath and willed herself to continue, "But I have to. We are at two different places in our lives right now and I don't see this working. I'm ready to say those three words and you aren't, I'm ready for a real commitment and your not."  
  
"Are... Are you breaking up with me?" the young man asked, his grip on her falling away in shock.  
  
"I think so," the red head said softly and rose from his lap. Walking over to her bags, she put her coat back on and the collected up her shopping bags. Malon looked towards Drake sitting there in the chair and a tear streaked down the white map of her flesh, no matter how intensely she tried to hold back her sorrow, knowing it would be hard enough on Drake as it was without seeing her break down as well. Even if she was falling apart inside. "I'm sorry, Drake," she said and turned to leave the apartment.  
  
As Malon got the door open, the young man called to her, "I ... I love you Malon!" But there was an urgency and unsure quaking to his tone that made her know he had said that because he knew that's what she wanted to hear and not because he truly felt it. He'd said a lie that she'd so desperately wanted to hear but now it sounded so false, hollow.  
  
Malon walked out of the door.  
  
*  
  
Most of the guests had left already, stumbling back out into the chilled night air to hail cabs and head off to their beds. Zelda had stayed, scarcely noticing anything but the way Bronton's eyes glittered as they spoke and that handsome smile that he flashed so readily. They talked together for almost the whole party; barely realizing anyone even existed in the fringes of their self-absorbed world. Now they stood together in the hall; a drink, still yet to be touched, held relaxed in the young woman's hand as she leaned back against the wall and he stood with his arm out by her shoulder, his body dangerously close to hers. They were laughing over matters of the past when finally Zelda looked over at the wall clock and sighed.  
  
"Its nearly one. I'd better start home before they change the doorman and I have to deal with that rude old woman again. Goddesses, with a face like hers, you'd think she would come to realize inner beauty was all she has left," the young woman sighed but she didn't make any effort to move, caught within his gaze like a fly trapped in amber.  
  
Bronton chuckled and seemed enchanted by Zelda, as he always had been when they were together. An eager excited look overcame his handsome face and he suddenly said, "Would you like to dance with me, Zelda?"  
  
The young woman seemed surprised, as if up until now she hadn't even heard the soft jazz music beckoning to them in the den. She was unable to answer; she so desperately wanted to dance with him but it didn't seem right, like it was a forbidden activity. After all, dancing was a 'couples' activity, and as far as she knew they were no longer a couple. "I... I don't know," she managed to stammer in response.  
  
He gave her that charming smile that she was unable to resist and her heart thumped as every sense in her tingled when his hand gently brushed against her lower arm. "Please. For old times sake, will you?" Bronton inquired with a glint of mischief and yearning in his voice.  
  
"Ok," was all the Princess could reply demurely and allowed him to lead her out of the hallway and into a dimly lit room, where the stereo was hidden away in. She felt so pathetic, as if she was playing the role of a submissive puppy, but then again that's how he made her feel – weak. Zelda hated it and yet felt comforted by the fact that for a time she didn't have to be the strong, sassy young woman everyone knew her as.  
  
Bronton went to the center of the room and took her easily into his arms, as if he knew every curve of her long, slender body. They meshed so good together, his hands falling around her waist and her arms draped over his shoulders, like one continues sculpture of welded flesh. They moved together, her following his lead in a gentle rocking rhythm to the soft jazz playing. Nothing else really seemed to exist, besides each other and the beating of their hearts.  
  
"Goddesses, this brings back so many memories," the young man whispered into her silky hair. "Remember the last time we danced like this, at The Juice Bar?"  
  
His words brought a hesitant smile to Zelda's lush pink lips and she giggled a bit as she said, "How could I forget! You were practically wasted and all of a sudden you jumped up on a table. Everybody was cheering and you pulled me up with you to dance..."  
  
Bronton laughed as well and shook his head gently. "The table was slippery from a spilled drink and, like an idiot, I lost my footing. We fell to the ground..." he chuckled.  
  
Now the Princess was fully immersed in a nostalgic reminiscence and held him closer, her soft words finishing his sentence, "- But you let me land on you." Her pale blue eyes held faint traces of a past happiness she remembered now and yearned for, as if wanting to taste it on her tongue again.  
  
"Yea I remember, that hurt like the Dark Realm," the young handsome man said with a playful smile on his face. He too could remember so vividly the warmth that her love had once brought to him.  
  
Zelda said quietly, "I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be," Bronton said and pulled back a bit so that he was looking directly into her face, "It was worth it." His voice was so sincere and seductive.  
  
Their faces were so close now that she was sure at any moment they might end up kissing. The Princess felt lost in his smile, in their memories... And yet she knew this wasn't right, she was opening up old wounds. She had to leave now or she never would be able to. "I... I have to go," she finally whispered in a quivering voice before quickly breaking from his magnetic grasp and running out of the room, out of his loft.  
  
The cold air was sobering and rushed over her flushed cheeks, drying the sheen in her pale eyes. She hurried down his cement steps in her high sandals and Bronton followed out the door, staying up on the highest stoop.  
  
"I'm still stuck on you!"  
  
His words froze Zelda in place, her mouth agape. The statement hadn't so much surprised her in its abruptness, but the fact that he had just said in five little words what she had been feeling all this time. She still wasn't over him and she knew it. The young woman turned and asked, "W-What?"  
  
His green eyes studied her as he went on, a bit of a blush on his cheeks, "I didn't want it to come out like that, but I am. I can't stop thinking about you Zelda, I miss what we had. I... I don't know what to do anymore."  
  
A strand of blonde hair fell in her face by a gust of cold, night air. "I thought you didn't want to be tied down?" she inquired, trying to hide her expression of longing by the dancing shadows cast along the sidewalk.  
  
"I thought so too. Until I realized without you I have nothing. I'd rather be tied down then live without you," he said in honesty.  
  
The girl could feel a tear threatening to fall now from the corner of her eye, even as she willed it not to. "I don't want you to live with being committed to me, I want you to *want* it," Zelda responded and the distance between them seemed to grow into miles.  
  
Bronton shook his head gently and said, "I don't know what to say then." He was at an utter loss over the whole situation.  
  
Zelda suddenly became aware that this whole time Bronton and her had been in stage two of a break-up: denial. It was over and yet here they were, trying to join together two completely different people who no longer knew one another. She could feel the last of her resolve breaking up and, not wanting to fall down into sobs here, she said softly, "There isn't anything to say..." Then she turned to leave and put him behind her, put all those happy, cherished memories behind her.  
  
"You're just going to leave then? We have a past together, Zel," he called to her once more, wanting desperately to make her stay. He was scared of being without her, being haunted by the ghosts of her smile and laughter.  
  
The young woman stopped and looked to Bronton. The moonlight glimmered along the wet slippery track of a falling tear against the white map of her face as she gave him a sympathetic, melancholy look. "I know..." she whispered and then went on, a new strength suddenly found in her trembling words, "But I know too that somewhere along the lines we lost sight of each other and grew apart. As hard as it is to face, we don't want the same things anymore.... The past was glorious and wonderful and I was my happiest when I was with you, I admit, Bronton... But there is a future out there too somewhere..." Zelda gave him a gentle, tear-stained smile and finished, "And I know somehow I'll get unstuck."  
  
Then the Princess turned and finally, truly left. She walked on so quickly it seemed as if she was slowly running, sprinting away from him and their history... But even as she tried, she knew that it wouldn't be that easy, it would take time to forget Bronton. It would be hard, but she could do it.  
  
The night street went by in a blur, clouded in tears. Zelda's apartment was only five blocks from Bronton's and she flew the whole way home, distracted by thoughts and worries and emotions. When she finally did come to her own complex she hurried by the doorwoman, who gave her a knowing look and for once didn't make a sarcastic remark at her, and up the stairs.  
  
Tears came now and she found it hard to walk, the sobs finally ebbing over her. She was alone and finally able to humor her sadness, let it wash over her. Zelda stopped in the hallway, knowing her doorway was only a few steps away, and pressed her back against the wall. She brought a shaking hand to her face and murmurs of grief left her lips as she cried.  
  
"Zelda? Is that you?"  
  
The young woman pulled her hand away and looked over at the young man, sitting on her stairs, through a veil of tears. She asked in surprise, still the pain was in her voice, "What are you doing here?"  
  
Link was too far away to see the sheen of tears on her damp cheeks nor the way she shook with each breath, the hallways darkness cloaking her in mystery. "I left and I'm sorry. I should have stayed," he said to her in solemn apology.  
  
Zelda swallowed down her sobs as she said softly and in disbelief, "But... I was a bitch to you." It was true and she became aware of how much she had hurt her friend as she was drowned in her own self absorbed sea.  
  
"I know but so what? I should have handled it. Beside you were around your ex, everyone acts different around a past girlfriend or boyfriend... I know it was probably rough and I should have been there for you but I wasn't..." the blonde man shrugged and then peered at the woman in the shadows, trying to get a better look at her. "Hey, where's your jacket?" he inquired in confusion.  
  
The Princess came into the light of the hallway window, cold metallic light washing her in a melancholy blue, and she went over to sit beside Link on the steps. "I was a bitch to you - and you waited up for me," she mumbled to him, puzzled by his caring. Why had she never seen how kind he could be? Why was it like she was now staring into his intense azure eyes for the first time in her life?  
  
The young man looked perplexed as he raised a strong hand to gently stroke a tear away with his rough thumb. "What's the matter? Are you ok?" he asked, concern heavy in his tone.  
  
"I'm fine..." Zelda lied. Yet she was unable to shift her gaze from his, like she often would do when telling a falsehood, and he knew instantly she wasn't 'fine'. She fell into his touch, it was so comforting and... real.  
  
Link studied her face for any bruises, any pain, and responded protectively, "If that Bronton guy did anything to you I'll go over there - "  
  
Zelda didn't know what she was doing any more; it was as if she wasn't in control. Yet Zelda's small delicate hand was the one that flew up and covered his hand, it was Zelda's face that neared his, and it was Zelda's lips that blanketed his with a gentle, needing embrace. There was an exchange of innocent, bewildered passion as their flesh met, strangely feeling right.  
  
It was Zelda who kissed Link.  
  
As they pressed their soft lips together, her mind raced beyond her closed eyelids. Are you crazy? Her thoughts screamed. She had just run from Bronton's arms into Link's, rebounding from a year relationship and then here she was with her best friend no less. She was still in stage two, for Goddesses' sake! This was too fast, she wasn't ready, and somehow she knew she was using Link as a way to deny her grief.  
  
Before she knew it, she was crying against his lips. A sob poured out as her heart swelled with pain and she pulled away suddenly. She placed a shaking hand over her mouth, as if to prevent any cries from escaping further, and hastily rose to her wobbling feet. "I'm so sorry..." she spluttered and tried to open the door, remembering that her keys were in the pocket of her jacket back in Bronton's closet. By now she just wanted to die from shame.  
  
Link stood as well and inquired, baffled and helpless, "Wait, Zelda. What's the matter?"  
  
"Look, go home," she cried and then went down on her haunches to search under her mat for the spare key. Then Zelda rose again and pressed her palm against her lips to muffle her sob. "O Goddesses, I'm so embarrassed," she mumbled against her hand. Why could she always find some way to make the most horrible situations even worse?  
  
The young man didn't know the cause of Zelda's weeping but it hurt him to see his friend like this. It hurt him even more to think a kiss they shared could drive her to tears... "Zelda, please talk to me. There isn't anything to be embarrassed about. Please -," he said, reaching a hand out to her, but was interrupted.  
  
"I cried in your mouth!" the Princess suddenly exclaimed and chanced a glance at him, her mascara slightly running down her face. Then she buried her head into her hand again to bite back the sobs of shame and heartbreak while with the other hand she turned the key in the lock. The door swung open and Zelda said between fingers and whimpers, "Link just... go home ok?" Then she ran into her apartment and shut the door behind her.  
  
The loft was dark, only the light from the moon hung in the window to guide her as she groped foreword to her white sofa and collapsed on it like a crumpled paper. She'd managed to ruin two relationships and make a fool of herself all in one night. Not to mention, she'd left her expensive jacket back at Bronton's and knew she could never show up to retrieve it again.  
  
There was a knock at the door and Zelda muffled her cries, shouting, "Link, please. Just leave me alone."  
  
There was a pause on the other side of the door and a trembling voice finally called back, "Its me, Zelda. Malon."  
  
The Princess sat up and wiped at her eyes. Thinking it was an emergency; she pushed down the hem of her dress and walked to the door. Opening it she could see the red head standing there in her jacket and khakis, tears running down the slopes of her cheeks.  
  
"I – I broke up with Drake," Malon stammered and she was shaking.  
  
Zelda gave the young woman a sympathetic look and gasped, "O honey..." before enclosing the young woman in a comforting hug.  
  
Malon went on as she sobbed into the blonde's shoulder, "... I'm sorry I came over so late. It's just... well, I couldn't sleep; I kept looking at his picture. I know Ruto and Nabooru wouldn't understand, you're the only one I could turn to."  
  
"Shhh," the young woman said and stroked Malon's hair. "Its alright, I don't mind," she responded. As they hugged and the red head cried, Zelda found herself sobbing uncontrollably against Malon as well.  
  
The young woman with the brown eyes asked, "Zelda, are you crying?" The blonde couldn't reply and continued to weep, tears falling to run off Malon's faux fur trimmed jacket. "Something happened with Bronton didn't it?" she finally said knowingly as she pulled back a bit from the embrace to look into Zelda's mascara stained face.  
  
Zelda gave her a grief stricken look and merely nodded, a sob breaking from her throat.  
  
The red head farmer's daughter pulled the Princess into a hug and soothed, "There, there, sweetie. It will be ok."  
  
They stayed up until early morning drinking tea and crying. The two women talked about what had happened and hashed up their emotions; they sat there on the cream-colored couch and tore up pictures of their exs.  
  
... And Zelda realized that maybe she'd made a mistake in assuming the best way to grieve was alone and maybe that old proverb had been right. Maybe misery did indeed love company... And maybe the only one to be there for you was a friend.  
  
*  
  
Nobody Knows But Me  
  
~ Babyface ~  
  
I pretend that  
  
I'm glad you went away  
  
But these four walls  
  
Closing more everyday  
  
And I'm dying inside  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
Like a clown  
  
I put on a show  
  
Pain is real  
  
Even if nobody knows  
  
And I'm crying inside  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
Why didn't I say  
  
The things I needed to say?  
  
How could I let  
  
My angel get away?  
  
Now my world is just  
  
Tumbling down  
  
I can say it so clearly  
  
But you're nowhere around  
  
My nights are lonely  
  
The days are so sad  
  
I just keep thinking about  
  
The love that we had  
  
And I'm missing you  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
I carry your smile  
  
When I'm broken in two  
  
And I'm nobody  
  
Without someone like you  
  
I'm trembling inside  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
Lie awake  
  
It's a quarter past three  
  
I'm screaming at night  
  
If I thought you'd hear me  
  
And my heart is calling you  
  
And nobody knows it but me  
  
How blue can I get?  
  
You could ask my heart  
  
My life, a jigsaw puzzle  
  
That's been torn all apart  
  
A million words couldn't say  
  
Just how I feel  
  
A million years from now I know  
  
I'll be loving you still  
  
*  
  
Closing Note: That's just a lil song that I thought fit this episode. I think I'll be doing that from now on... So this was almost like the first real chapter, what do you think? Did you see how most of the plot line revolved in some way or another around the topic of Zelda's article? You may have noticed also there was no Ruto; and you may be happy about that, I'm not sure. Just count on seeing her in the next installment. Also upcoming, Ganondorf and Nabooru sharing a drink and the aftermath of Zelda and Link's kiss!!! Stay tuned, loyal viewers! 


	3. Episode Three: Split Personality Disorde...

Author's Note:  
  
This fanfic is of course inspired by Sex And The City but it still is original in the sense that I am not copying any plot lines from the show and that this is the only story of its kind in the Zelda section of fanfic.net (True? I hope so...). Also you don't have to watch the show to read this fic.  
  
This is rated R and intended for only mature readers. Though I think I won't go into as much... how shall I say, bedroom affairs as the show does (Sex And The City concentrates on the girls' sex lives, my fic will focus on the dating aspect more), I will no doubt be mentioning it. Plus be prepared for some foul language! Yesa!  
  
This is somewhat like an alternate universe fic because Ganon was never sent to the Sacred Realm (Hey I had to find some way to hook him and Nabby up didn't I?). Also they have televisions, phones, laundry mats, etc. Possible relationships are Z/L and N/G.  
  
So sit back ~ relax ~ and enjoy the show! (Shhh! No talking!)  
  
The Singles  
  
By *Jasmine*  
  
*  
  
I just was in one of those relationships that alters you. Without using names, dates, places, or any other incriminating information, (Also because I know he may be reading this right now and gloating that yes, he did have an impact on me... And yes, I am talking about YOU, mister) I have successfully risen from the aftermath of our drawn-out time together and come to the startling realization that there may be things *I* need to change.  
  
Hold on, wait! Get this one written down, it is perhaps the only known instance in the whole span of Hylian-kind that a single woman has admitted there are things she needs to change about herself, and not instead her ex.  
  
As a society of perpetual singles, we have avoided change like it was the Black Plaque or a blind date. We constantly want our partners to change but if they even so much as mention they would like us to start screwing the toothpaste top back on we run for the hills. As a single woman I know I am a glorious example of someone like this, I have always seen change as a sign of weakness. After all, shouldn't you be happy with who you are? But this seems one-sided, to ask for a significant other to adapt his or her behaviors but think of myself as faultless. Indeed I have many, many flaws, some of which I am actually quite fond of. Others however can be seen as a handicap in the way I relate to people, not just boyfriends, and I have come to the conclusion that I need to make an effort to grow as a person and not freak out at the first mention of the "C" word.  
  
Again I am not taking full blame for the wreckage that was our break-up, (So there, YOU!) but I am coming to grasp that perhaps I need to make some self-alterations. After all, no one is perfect, least of all me, and maybe some change, after twenty-three years of blissful existence, is in order. Some people, probably most women themselves, will argue why ruin a good formula? Up until this point, hadn't it always been that we as females would constantly critique our counterparts on their shortcomings, dispensing advice on how they could change like colorful flavored gumballs? And I'm not here to protest this; men are a population that, as a whole, has a 50% chance rate that they will have some horribly disfiguring personality trait. But its time we looked in the mirror and all did some self-evaluation.  
  
I'm not saying you should stay up at night, painfully mulling over every little detail of past boyfriends to find some linking trait that you have used to sabotage your relationships with them. But if you do happen to notice that say, you've been increasingly more clingy or too distant, you may want to make an effort to prevent this from ruining your next chance at a relationship. There is a fine line, however, between self-improvement and a complete loss of who you really are. If you go so far to please your mate and correct all the idiosyncrasies that have made you *you*, you may find you can no longer recognize yourself anymore. Don't go so far as to bend yourself into the "perfect" girlfriend mold; after all there is no "perfect" boyfriend (Believe me, I've looked). Just be yourself, but that still doesn't mean you can't make changes and grow as a person right? Hey, if you can get one good thing out of a breakup, beside being able to keep all his old stuff, its realizing you need to make some changes.  
  
~ Princess Zelda  
  
*  
  
"Episode Three: Split Personality Disorder And I"  
  
*  
  
The bar was your regular smoky tavern stuffed with people just from work, still adorned in suits and loose ties. It had an upscale charm as well, rough but suitable for those wanting a warm atmosphere to relax in after a long day. Laughter and loud talk ruptured over the burnished rafters and lights illuminated the tiny drinking pub.  
  
Nabooru sat on a stool, her elbows propped up on the bar and she was impatiently biting her lip. She wore tailored, straight-legged white pants that made her long legs seem miles in length and black boots with a short heel. On top she wore a black shirt that hugged her small but perfect chest and her long red hair tumbled down her shoulders in sleek elegant strands. Male eyes all stared at her as she sat alone at the bar but no one dared speak to the apparently agitated tan beauty as she cussed under her breath and glanced down at her watch for the fourth time tonight.  
  
She was seriously considering up and leaving when the bartender came around for the sixth time to ask if she wanted a drink and again she had to reply that she indeed was waiting for someone and no, she wasn't alone, when finally she heard a familiar smooth male voice from over her shoulder.  
  
"Hey, beautiful. I didn't think you'd show up."  
  
Nabooru didn't bother to turn around, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing she was suddenly excited by his arrival. Instead she remained stoned faced as he sat down at the stool by hers and turned towards the bar. "Funny, I was thinking the same thing, o say half an hour ago, at eight, when you were supposed to be here..." she mused and narrowed her amber eyes at him.  
  
Ganondorf looked more dashing then the first time they had meet, if even that was possible. His red hair was neatly combed back and his distinguished face was made more pronounced by the bright lights. He was wearing a black business suit and a silk patterned yellow and red tie that was very stylish and matched him well. He gave her an apologetic grin and said, "I know, I know, and I'm sorry. Things were a little hectic at the office..." Then he sighed and added, "I'm not making the best first impression, am I?"  
  
Nabooru didn't even hesitate, as she responded snidely, "No not at all." She was still a little muffed over him being late, he had better not think she was the type of woman to just hang around until he suddenly decided to "grace" her with his presence.  
  
The red headed man shrugged and said as a peace offering, "Hmm. Guess that means I'm going to have to make it up to you with drinks, witty banter, and a charming smile, aren't I?"  
  
The Gerudo snorted and replied, as she rose from her seat and slung her white pocketbook over her shoulder, "O please, it will cost you more then that. I was hoping more along the lines of the cab fare home."  
  
Ganondorf gave her a simple look and said, straight foreword and without pretense, yet just as stubborn, "You're not leaving."  
  
The young woman raised a slender crimson eyebrow and inquired, "O I'm not? Are you sure about that? Because it seems to me like I am."  
  
"No you're not," the man repeated with an inviting, harmless smile, never wavering in his dark piercing gaze, "You're going to stay, let me buy you a drink, and let me get to know you better."  
  
Nabooru flipped the ends of her hair and growled defiantly, "Excuse me? Don't tell me what I'm about to do, sir. You hardly even know me."  
  
The man with the handsome face nodded and said, "True. So are you or aren't you going to join me for a drink?"  
  
The young woman stood there by the bar and thought about it as she stared into his eyes. He was right, she wasn't going to leave. She had to give this man a chance; she'd made a promise to herself to give relationships another shot, as hard as that might seem now. "Just one and only because I need something to relax," she finally sighed before plopping back down on the stool and letting her purse slide onto the counter.  
  
Ganondorf grinned slightly and then turned to the bar tender to ask for two beers, cold and straight from the bottle. He looked over at her again and asked curiously, "So I'm guessing you have a high-powered job as well?"  
  
Nabooru shrugged and touched the chilled lip of the beer bottle, running her smooth finger over it and growing amused at the fact that Ganondorf's eyes followed her movements. "Well if you consider joint ruling the Gerudo clan a high-powered job, then yes I guess so," she responded in mock uninterest.  
  
The man stayed hypnotized by her long thin finger as it traced the glass until he finally took a swig of his alcohol and let out a chuckle, "Wow. Beauty and brains... What's wrong with you? I assume if you're still single there has to be some hideous birthmark, peg leg, or multiple personality I don't know of."  
  
Nabooru smiled partially, revealing the caps of perfect white teeth like snowy mountains, and said, "I was just about to ask the same of you."  
  
Ganondorf leaned in a little closer to her, taking in the scent of her fresh, non-floral perfume, and humorously replied in a whisper, as if he was about to share some secret, "Fine, I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."  
  
The tan woman couldn't help but laugh slightly, melting the jagged edges of her Ice Queen image, and she said, "Ok you go first."  
  
He turned to look ahead, at the row of alcohol bottles lining the wall, and took a slow sip of his beer, swishing it over his teeth. When he finally spoke he sounded thoughtful, in no way attempting to be charming and yet somehow just then he was more appealing to her then he ever was, "I'm a workaholic. People tell me I live in the courtroom and maybe its true, I don't know. Want to hear something really pathetic? Sometimes I even sleep overnight at the office to get extra work done."  
  
Nabooru looked at him, the outline of his strong attractive face with the large masculine nose, and realized up until this moment she hadn't even questioned her notion that being a workaholic was a good thing. By the Dark Realm, she'd even considered it an attractive quality in a man; to her it meant stability and dedication. "Why do you love your job so much? Is it the money?" she inquired in genuine curiosity.  
  
Ganondorf gazed at her finally, giving her a sincere dark stare, and said, "Money? No I could care less about that..." Then he shrugged and continued, "I don't know. I love being in front of a courtroom, making my final closing argument to a judge and jury. When I'm in control of those dozens of eyes and its up to me to decide someone's future, this may sound dumb, but I get a sort of rush. Maybe it's a power thing or a testosterone issue, I'm not really sure. All I know is when I'm up there its like my whole trial has been leading up to this moment, its almost better then sex."  
  
The beauty's amber eyes grew wide and she gaped at his last sentence, "Wow. That's certainly a bold statement."  
  
A wiry smile slipped over the man's face. "I said almost," he said, taking another sip of his ale before adding with a wink, "Maybe its because up until now I haven't had the right partner."  
  
Nabooru tried to fight her laughter and she said, "Your girlfriends haven't liked the fact that you're a workaholic, have they?"  
  
"Yea. I guess I neglect them sometimes for my work but to be honest I haven't really ever dated anyone serious. They've all been flings mostly, none ever were a reason to skip work," the man said honestly and without much shame.  
  
The young slender woman smirked as she said, "O so you're a playboy? I could have guessed that."  
  
Ganondorf raised a thick red eyebrow and drawled all too charmingly and with an edge of danger to his voice, like somehow she knew this could be the beginning of trouble, "Why's that?"  
  
Nabooru met his gaze thoughtfully and responded, satisfied that she hadn't let him trick her into thinking he was anything but a rich ladies' man, "You have that glint in your eye, like you could break a heart without much care to it."  
  
The man chuckled dryly and looked down at his beer bottle before turning back to meet her amber hued orbs, "Maybe, that's not all I am though. Maybe you'll get to find that out sometime..."  
  
His proposal hadn't been lost on her, she knew he was throwing out all the best lines he had on her and she liked it. She liked the feeling of watching him, this supposed player, jump through hoops for her. "Maybe," the red head responded smoothly.  
  
Ganondorf scanned her face, as if looking for something wrong in her perfect features and yet finding nothing but flawlessness. "So what's yours?" he finally asked, fully entranced by her.  
  
The young woman twirled her beer bottle in her slender hand, apparently bored, before finally musing, "My hideous fault? I have none." That would teach him to poke his nose into her life; no man could just assume to perceive within the first minutes of meeting Nabooru that they'd get to know all of her, even all the faults she carried.  
  
The man burst out with a loud laugh and exclaimed, "No way! You have to have something, everyone does."  
  
Nabooru shook her head and sniffed, "Sorry, I don't. I'm a normal, adjusted person."  
  
Ganondorf eyed her suspiciously, not buying it for one moment. "Then why are you still single?" he inquired.  
  
The young woman took a sip of her bitter beer, loving every cold hard minute of it as it slipped down her throat, before shrugging and replying, "Because guys are all scum?"  
  
The man brushed her shoulder with his, feeling the instance of electricity as their fabrics ran against each other. He remarked, "Let me remind you that you are sitting next to one of these so called "scum"."  
  
Nabooru gave him a blank stare and said flatly, albeit humorously, "... And I repeat the phrase."  
  
This sent Ganondorf chuckling to himself. He said to her with a grin, "You know, for a perfect person you certainly have a dry sense of humor... I like that in a woman."  
  
The Gerudo snorted, "I'm glad I appeal to you."  
  
The man met her gaze defiantly and just as strongly. "I'd like to take you dancing one night soon," he suddenly said, matching her stare.  
  
This caught Nabooru off-guard and she gasped, "Dancing? No way!"  
  
Ganondorf finally saw a brief glimpse beyond her stony exterior and liked what he saw. "Why not? What's the matter with dancing?" he questioned.  
  
She hadn't gone dancing in three years, since... her last real boyfriend. Goddesses, had it been that long? Dancing to her was a submissive act, whereupon the male took complete control of the female who was supposed to bend to his will. It stood against primarily all she was, but Nabooru wasn't about to explain all this to Ganondorf and merely replied, "I don't dance."  
  
Ganondorf didn't seem too thrown aback by her refusal and simply declared, "Well now you do. Come on, I'll pick you up Wednesday to go dancing with me at the Waltan."  
  
Nabooru spluttered, now completely loosing all traces of her cold demeanor, instead showing her shards of an irrational fear, "Ballroom dancing? You have to be kidding me!"  
  
He couldn't help to laugh at her utter aghast horror over it as he smirked, "So now you're opposed to ballroom dancing too?"  
  
"No I just never figured you for the ballroom dancing type..." she replied in puzzlement.  
  
Ganondorf gave her a sincere look and replied, "Yea well I guess you're in for a surprise then because there are a lot of things about me no one would figure."  
  
"I guess so..." Nabooru said and then sighed, defeated, "Ok fine, I'll go."  
  
A boisterous smile overcame the handsome man's bold features and he trumpeted, "All right great. I have to go now though, I have to get up early tomorrow."  
  
Nabooru nodded in his direction and inquired, arching one of her slender eyebrows into a peak, "Work?"  
  
The handsome man rose from the stool, dropping a twenty on the bar to no doubt try to impress her, and lifted up his jacket. "Yup, you guessed it," he admitted and then gazed at the beautiful woman sincerely, "Nabooru, I'd really like to get the chance to know you well enough to learn your imperfections, as few as I have a feeling those might be."  
  
The young woman laughed at this slightly, didn't he realize he was setting his sights on an impossible task? She never allowed any man to get to know her that well; she'd made that vow a long time ago. She simply replied, "Bye Ganondorf."  
  
Ganondorf took her defensiveness all in stride, he didn't seem like the type to be frightened of challenges. He gazed at her for a long moment before turning around and leaving the bar.  
  
*  
  
There the four woman sat in *their* dinner, at *their* usual booth. The sun poured in through the Plexiglas window and bathed the group in warm rays. Waitresses shuffled by in their crisp white uniforms, cracking gum between their smoke tarnished teeth. The linoleum floors were glossed to reflect the hanging florescent lights dangling high above. Gwendle's Diner was *their* secret little smoke-hazed haven.  
  
"So I came to an epiphany last night while I was watching a re-run of I Love Lucy. You know, the one were she gets drunk while shooting a commercial..." Malon trailed off while nibbling a piece of an omelet. Never before had she allowed herself the freedom to devour a cheese slathered egg dish before, always worried about an expanding waistline, but now without Drake she felt she deserved the little splurge. She also wore a cream cardigan, the most expensive item in her wardrobe, and her small pearl earrings, the ones she'd felt guilty for purchasing.  
  
Ruto glanced over at her red headed friend while scraping some excess butter off her toast. With a wistful, dreamy look in her large chocolate eyes, she said, "Yes I am aware of that episode. It was the first time I was ever exposed to the virtues of liquor as a young girl." The Zora wore a beige silk scarf tied around her swan like neck and a short sleeved rose sweater that hugged her curves splendidly.  
  
The young ranch tycoon gave her an edged stare while pausing from inhaling her breakfast. "She drank cough syrup!" Malon responded coldly, oddly irritated at the fact that her beloved childhood role model could be anything less than saintly.  
  
The woman with the iridescent blue glimmering skin shrugged and chomped into her toast. She said between bites, "So? She still got drunk didn't she?"  
  
Malon shook her long red hair and it bounced like fire embers. "Um ya anyway. I came to the conclusion that guys are not necessary for my happiness," she finally stated with the stark clarity of someone completely enlightened.  
  
Zelda cocked a thin gilded eyebrow and inquired curiously, "And a profound I Love Lucy episode drove you to this conclusion?" Her long straight blonde hair poured down her back, a blue beret seated on her head, and she wore an off the shoulder navy blue stripped shirt and slim fitting white pants. The Princess sipped at a ceramic mug of coffee and felt the dark bitter liquid glide down her throat. Ah, nothing quite like stinging caffeine in the morning.  
  
The young woman with the deep brown eyes went on to explain to her fellow female friends, "No, not the show. Just *watching* the show; with Drake I never could because he always wanted to watch ESPN, all hours of the day. I've realized that every time I've ever had a man in my life, I've had to sacrifice all the things that make me happy. Goddesses, I was actually starting to understand football!"  
  
Ruto was of course the first to oppose this notion, she being the one who was most for the male race. "Well no shit, Sherlock. Men, physical trainers, mothers. They are all a necessary evil... But what you're proposing is crazy! You can't *just* give them up," she recoiled and her crimson lips quivered in a bit of outrage, just the idea of giving up men sent waves of shivers through her.  
  
The red head would not however back down and countered defiantly, "Why not? I am self-sufficient; I can stand on my own. I think it'll be healthy for me to go a time without a man." Yet her sugary voice was not as strong as it was intended to be and her eyes seemed unsure and shifting like beach dunes.  
  
It was Nabooru's turn to weigh in on the subject and Malon was almost positive the independent thinker of their group would back her up. Yet the woman clad in a white lace shirt and pleated black pants, her long red hair drawn up into a tight, neat bun, dropped a nuclear bomb on the young woman's head. "I think that's great Malon, really I do. You know me; I'd have no problem swearing off the whole male species... But this isn't me we're talking about, its *you*. If I remember correctly, you're the woman who says a man's whole name out loud when you first meet just to picture how it will look on your monogram towels. You've even proclaimed on many occasions your goal in life was to get married and have a van full of kids." So the tan leader of the Gerudos made a valid point, still she'd betrayed Malon in her quest from single-hood.  
  
Malon clenched her jaw and sniffed, "I know, but I'm getting sick of putting someone's needs before mine all the time. I need to know that I can make myself happy without relying on a man; I need to feel complete without having to have a man in my life." She gobbled down a big blob of cheese and egg, feeling the calories practically ooze down her throat, before turning to face her blonde friend, her one last ally in this matter, "What do you think Zelda? We've both been through major break-ups so what's your opinion?"  
  
She took a long drag from her coffee cup, inhaling the caffeine, and gazed thoughtfully at Malon. Finally she relinquished, "Well I hear what you're saying but I honestly feel totally the opposite. It feels like a relief not to be tied down anymore, I'm embracing my single status, but I also want to date now. I want to go out with men, have flings, and not worry about having to call them back." Thus, Malon was made a lone soldier in her war against the male race.  
  
A smile slid across Ruto's crimson stained lips and she raised a thin eyebrow. "Drive by screwings?" she inquired with a jovial wink her voice.  
  
Zelda laughed slightly and shrugged. She replied without shame, "I'm not sure, all I know is right now I don't want commitment."  
  
"So let me get this straight," Nabooru piped up, gazing in amused puzzlement at her friend. "You just got dumped by a man because he didn't want commitment and now you are rejecting the idea too? Why am I not getting the picture here?"  
  
It was true. At first, all Zelda thought she wanted was for Baruch to tell her he only craved to be with her and no other women, that his one desire was to be serious with her. Now that she had come to grips that was only some disillusioned fantasy and Baruch was not ready to retire from his playboy ways, she was realizing that this could be somewhat liberating. After all, she was young, single, and in a city full of equally available men; what was stopping her from having some fun? "I know it sounds weird, but in a way I was tied down to my ex, even if he wasn't. Now that we have completely broken things off I feel free and I want to celebrate, that's all," she responded over the lip of her mug.  
  
Ruto brought her glass of orange juice up as if to make a toast and cheered, "Well here, here! I never thought I'd say this but Zelda's a girl after my own heart."  
  
The blonde Princess cringed in mock fright and said flippantly, "Strangely, I have had nightmares about this day."  
  
The Zora was not deterred a beat and merely nodded her head. "You say that now but I know you have wanted to become an honorary member of the dark side. We all get wonderful matching brooches and everything, its really quite splendid," she joked in good humor. Then Ruto placed a few rupees on the tabletop and gathered up her handbag. "But I am the first to leave again, I have to go to a manicure appointment," she spoke to her friends.  
  
Malon giggled and chimed, almost singsong, "O a manicure! Who's the special man?"  
  
The blue skinned beauty gave Malon a slight smile and rolled her rich brown eyes. "Its that surgeon I was telling you all about," she admitted.  
  
"Or rather not telling us about! What, is this your second date, and he is already getting a manicure? Wow you really must like him," Nabooru chorused, taking part in the game. Ruto was never one to be tight lipped about her sexual exploits, yet when it came to a man she was coming to adore, she could be a nun.  
  
Ruto gave them all a glance and smirked suspiciously. "I do," she whispered before standing from her seat sooner than any of the girls could have a chance to interrogate her further. "See you all later, ladies. Chow!" With that the seductive Zora flounced out of the tacky diner.  
  
They watched her leave and then Malon, finished with every last bite of her celebration meal, pushed her plate aside and said, "I have to go too.'  
  
Nabooru eyed the red headed farm girl and asked of her, "Let me guess, an I Love Lucy marathon?"  
  
"Ha ha, you just crack me up. No, I have a date with a spa thank you very much! I'm getting a seaweed wrap," she responded before arising from the booth.  
  
Zelda smiled at Malon and offered as a form of some support, "Sounds delicious. Bye Malon." At least if she wasn't joining Malon in her struggle for self-sufficiency, she could be an enthusiastic observer. If she turned out to be successful in her mission then Zelda would be there to applaud, and if it failed miserably... well she'd probably laugh. But then she'd be a helpful consoler as well.  
  
Nabooru sighed and pushed herself up from the padded plastic seating as well, "I have to leave now too. I need to go buy some comfortable dancing shoes that don't look like they belong in my grandma's closet."  
  
The blonde woman stood up along side her and inquired mischievously, "Dancing? Is that the sparkle of a new man I see in your eyes, Nabooru?"  
  
"No," the tall redheaded beauty replied sadly, " That, my friend, is the tear I am shedding knowing I will have to go dancing tonight and make a fool of myself."  
  
Zelda chuckled and shook her head in incredulity. "I can't believe a man actually was able to talk *you* into dancing, that's something I'd pay to see," she said. She couldn't imagine her tough Gerudo friend letting a man place his hands all around her and lead her about a dance floor like some ancient, dominated Marilyn Monroe.  
  
Nabooru gave her a grievous gaze and grumbled, "Laugh as much as you want. Everyone else will be when I get onto the dance floor."  
  
The blonde rolled her blue ice eyes. "This coming from the woman who refuses to take a cab to work and instead runs the whole way in heels? You'll do fine, Nabooru, I'm sure of it," she soothed.  
  
The Gerudo smiled slightly, albeit weakly, and responded, "Thanks, I hope so."  
  
"Wow. Malon and I are single and you and Ruto are currently in relationships. I feel a shifting in the force, Luke," Zelda kidded as they stood together in the diner aisle, the blinding overhead lights echoing off her flaxen locks and Nabooru's sleek crimson updo.  
  
Nabooru scoffed and feigned exasperation. "I am not in a relationship, this is just a date! And never quote Star Wars again," she retorted.  
  
The Princess's pink lips turned up into a grin and she laughed, "Sorry, it will never happen again. See you later Nab."  
  
"Bye," Nabooru replied before striding out of their diner. Zelda finished paying her half of the tab before gazing out the large Plexiglas window smudged with dust and catching sight of the new morning sun just peaking over the tops of the tall buildings. Then, with a slight smile to herself, she left Gwendle's Diner.  
  
*  
  
The sun was turning a burnt orange and red smear in the horizon now as the day gave way to evening, casting bands of crimson through the apartment windows. It was the surgeon's loft in upper Hyrule, his name was Uillikan and he was an extremely well to do Hylian. His apartment reflected wealth with its tall ceilings and expensive dark cherry wood; dripping in tapestries from the farthest realms of the kingdom and golden plates and goblets strone about on shelves and tabletops. Yes Uillikan was *very* rich, and yes he was *very* handsome, but Ruto also was finding herself becoming quite fond of him. A second date from her was like receiving the gold in the Olympics, very rarely given out unless there was athletic prowess involved (And yes, he was also *very* good in bed). Uillikan was charming, sweet, and funny; everything she looked for in an ideal mate.  
  
They sat kissing and groping on his dark leather couch, a quick make-out before heading out to grab some dinner. Sunlight echoed off his dark blonde locks and his slight stubble on his well-defined chin scratched erotically against her cheek as their lips met in a hot embrace of flesh upon flesh. She roamed her newly manicured nails along his nicely muscled body, he was a regular at the gym, and slightly tugged at the folds of his crisp white shirt to let them escape free from the waist of his grey pants. He let his broad hands fall over her full swelling chest before traveling along to her blue tinted thighs, pressing up under her red skirt.  
  
His head fell between the crease of her neck to her shoulder and he began to litter kisses along her collarbone. "Goddesses, I love when you do that. You know just what to do to please a woman," she moaned, running her hand through his mass of thick hair in ecstasy.  
  
After a moment Uillikan stopped in his devotion to her neckline and gazed at her outline in the setting sun. "I could fix your nose," he stated flatly.  
  
O yes, did I mention he was a plastic surgeon that increased the bust sizes and tightened the backsides of some of the most famous people in Hyrule? At first Ruto found it somewhat of a turn-on, after all he'd probably met with everyone worth knowing in Hyrule and a plastic surgeon was a very popular commodity in this city. It was like a dream come true to have one at her disposal, she'd often indulged in the idea of getting something done but quickly backed down for lack of courage. Yes, you heard it here first, the self-assured Ruto was afraid of going under the knife; but this will have to stay our little secret.  
  
The beautiful Zora's dark chestnut eyes went wide and she gasped, "Excuse me? Is this considered foreplay to you?" Her crimson lipstick was streaked across her cheek and her dismantled dress was rumpled up at the hemline.  
  
The blonde man hastily explained, "No. I just mean, I could fix your nose. On the house of course." But then his green eyes seemed apologetic, as the prospect of having a bedmate later on tonight seemed to be fading by the moment, and he spluttered, "I'm sorry, I probably shouldn't have even said anything."  
  
Ruto anger was melting a little as his words sunk in. "Why? What's wrong with me nose?" she questioned, less accusingly than genuinely curious. She ran slender fingers over her nose, the one until now she'd considered to be small and cute.  
  
"Nothing!" he exclaimed promptly before admitting with a critical eye, "Its just... well, pointier than normal."  
  
The woman's eyes swelled with horror and she looked off into the distance, her lush lips quivering slightly. "Pointier? I have a pointy nose?" she said in utter disbelief. A minute ago she was a Goddess; now she was a disfigured mess deserving of a hay mat in the highest tower of the Church of Notre Dame, tolling the bell.  
  
Uillikan peered up as if he was examining a patient and traced the sloping line of her nose with a gentle tip of his finger. "You see, the natural nose has a soft, slightly rounded tip where as yours is sharp at the end," he informed her.  
  
There were tears welling up in her throat now and she babbled, "O my Goddesses. I have a freakish spear nose don't I?" The sexual icon so many women saw as an embodiment of the voluptuous, confident female sensuality now felt like an ugly eyesore.  
  
The young man consoled as best he could, "No, I find it to be... an adorable flaw. However, if you wanted to stop by my office early tomorrow before it opens for appointments, I could fix it in no time flat and you wouldn't have to pay; it would be my treat."  
  
She had a *flaw*! As much as she feared that glimmering scalpel, all she could picture was walking around Hyrule poking people's eyes out with her unnaturally pointy nose. She covered her face with a shaking hand and whispered, "Yes, I think I'll take you up on that."  
  
*  
  
A symphony played swelling overtures and methodic notes that undulated in one's earlobe like the carousing of sea waves rising in frothy tufts before falling back in spasms once more. The crystal chandeliers sent soft golden light about the large ballroom, reflecting off the glossy wooden floor specked with dancing couples. There was a bar against one wall, which served only cocktails and martinis in homage to the more glamorous days when there was such a thing as the 'silver screen'.  
  
Nabooru sat with Ganondorf on a stool and felt totally out of her element. This place was frivolous and lavish, she was more practical, give her a simply bar that served at least one kind of beer and she was happy. Beside, she'd always detested martinis. She wore a black jumpsuit that tied around her neck and hugged close to her body, with sexy spiked heels. She didn't feel comfortable wearing a dress, after all this was only their second date, if that; it took at least the sixth date before she even considered wearing a dress (Ok so she was a little anal at times but she had a strict date code she followed). Nabooru wore a thin pearl and gold chain belt around her slender waist and a gold bracelet brushed against her tan skin. Pearl drop earrings dangled from her ears and her long crimson hair was actually worn down this time to fall in straight, gleaming turrets down her torso.  
  
Ganondorf sat besides her, gazing at her as if enchanted and arrogantly amused. He appeared very handsome in his black designer suit and neatly combed red hair. "Have I told you yet how stunning you look?" he said and her reflection stared back at her in his dark eyes.  
  
She smiled slightly, her lightly make-up adorned face brightening slightly, and she replied with a mock sigh, "Only about ten times. It's easy to say that now, but wait until I'm out there having seizures on the dance floor. I won't look so stunning then."  
  
The young lawyer chuckled dryly. "I thought you were flawless?" he asked coyly.  
  
Nabooru halted the laughter that threatened to arise and merely shrugged. "I am. I count my dancing handicap as part of my charm," she sniffed jokingly.  
  
Ganondorf leaned into her, closer to her smooth skin so that he could feel the warmth emanating from her. The sides of his mouth turned up and he said softly, almost just to her, "To that I agree. It gives me an excuse to teach you. Now come on, doll face, let's test out our dancing shoes."  
  
The beautiful red head rolled her amber eyes and questioned flippantly, "What's the Dirty Harry impression all about?"  
  
He gave her a humorous, exasperated glance, and when he spoke there was a jovial wink in his tone, "I guess all this old-time glitz and glamour brings it out in me. Now stop stalling. We can do this the hard way or my way. You're either going to go out there of your own free will or I'm going to carry you. Its up to you, beautiful."  
  
Nabooru shook her head and finally allowed the glimmer of a giggle to overcome her. Yet when she spoke there was fear laced within her words, "Fine fine; as long as it gets you to stop talking in that horrible impersonation."  
  
He stood and offered a hand to her, which she took hesitantly. Her supple warm wrist pressed against his as he wound their way through the moving bodies to a spot on the floor. Ganondorf did not let go of her grasp, her long slender fingers still clasped with his, and he turned to her with a humoring glance. He wrapped an arm around her waist and brought his mouth close to her ear, almost as if his hot lips were against her lobe.  
  
"Now just follow me. One step, two step. Now turn. One step, two step, turn," he instructed as he led her and she followed a bit shaky at first. Finally their feet began to move in sync and she was eventually getting the hang of it.  
  
"This is..." the woman began and took another step before finishing, "Kind of easy." She couldn't help but smile, as she thought how unfounded her fears had been. This wasn't so bad at all.  
  
Ganondorf chuckled against her neck and remarked, "O look, perfect Nabooru, you're a natural."  
  
However just as he spoke, Nabooru made a misstep and brought a pointed heel rather hard down on the man's foot. He immediately winced but Nabooru acted the most aghast as she gasped loudly and pulled back from his touch.  
  
Nabooru brought a hand up to her gaping mouth before exclaiming breathlessly, "O my Goddesses, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"  
  
The man shook his foot as if trying to make the pain vibrate off. "Yea I'm fine, it's just my big toe. Its not like I need it or anything," he retorted a bit more irately than intended.  
  
The young woman looked apologetic as she said, "See, I told you I'm a hazard on a dance floor. Maybe we should stop..." He knew it was more of a cop out for an excuse to stop dancing than her wanting to spare him any pain.  
  
Ganondorf responded stubbornly and with that same hint of boyish laughter he always seemed to retain, "You just started, I expect to loose a few limbs. It takes time to get as skilled as, say, I. Now come on, I'm not going to let you give up that easily."  
  
She let him draw her back into his muscular arms yet she began rougher this time, her confidence shaken. Nabooru tried to direct their movements, you could tell by the way that she was pushing and pulling him that she was frustrated. After the third time she shoved him to turn Ganondorf finally commented, "You know, the idea is that I lead, Nab."  
  
Of course this just added fuel to the already annoyed woman's fire. She burst as if she was arguing over a debate with her member's of Gerudo council, "Of course, because you're the man right? That's so sexist, dancing is just one big patriarchal oppressive system, which furthers man's dominance. Goddesses, its like stepping back into the 1950s; ever heard of that whole Woman's Lib movement? I can't believe..." Here she was arguing again instead of laughing or smiling, it was easier to do. Being mad was simpler for Nabooru than being happy... or worse, being in love.  
  
This man was not intimidated however and his gaze of yearning in his eyes did not fade with her outcry. He simply held her closer and let his mouth slide into the raven between her neck and shoulder, whispering hotly into her ear, "Shhh. Nabooru, just relax. It's dancing; don't think too much into it. Let me take control for just a little while and let go alright."  
  
Begrudgingly the woman let her skin slip into a warm embrace with his own and suddenly, without warning, she found it pleasurable. Her mind drifted from all her worries and their bodies molded together like joining clay. Nabooru became sensitive to only his gentle touch and the sound of the band floating in her thoughts.  
  
After a long moment, she said softly to him, "This... This isn't so bad." Her own nude lips brushed against his neck and made his flesh tingle.  
  
One of his arms fell over her waist, swaying gently with her hips, and the other was clasped in hers. He finally pulled his head from her neck to gaze into her beautiful face and large radiant amber eyes that reflected back so much willpower and strength. Her nose arched slightly and long dark eyelashes danced along the high crests of her cheekbones. Yet he was captivated by her mouth, the bare emotional part of her that was able to yell opinions and lovemaking-induced moans whenever it felt like it. "I want to kiss you," he finally stated smoothly and almost as if he himself had not planned those words.  
  
Her elegant brow furrowed and she questioned in disbelief, hoping she'd heard wrong, "What?"  
  
Ganondorf's coal eyes stirred with his desire, and yet there was more there; the man who had always seemed so in control now was a slave to his own emotions. He felt for her and he knew it. "I want to kiss you. Please just let me Nabooru," he said and for the first time there was urgency, a pressing want.  
  
"I..." she began to stammer and then tried to quarrel weakly, "That's not supposed to happen until at least date number three."  
  
There was that smooth smile again that crossed his face in a fracture of luminescent teeth and the slightest hint of a chuckle. "Three you say? Well, beautiful, I simply can't wait that long."  
  
He brought his large warm hands up to her face, covering her taut soft cheeks like the hands of the Goddesses cradling the world. He stared into her eyes and his lips were drawn to hers, she couldn't move or breathe, this intoxicated her. As he came in closer and the moment spun thick like amber, stretching the space of time into long threads, she realized that for the first time in three years, since her last real relationship, she'd let someone take control. Maybe she didn't always have to be the strong, brave Nabooru; the one who believed all she had to depend on was herself. Maybe somewhere along the lines she'd forgotten how good it felt just to let go. It was like Nabooru was suffering from Split Personality Disorder and she didn't care, the person she was earlier today was not the person she was now. Now she was someone who fell without a safety net, now she was just a woman being kissed by a man.  
  
*  
  
"Ahhh. What could be better than this? Lucy and ice cream, simple heaven."  
  
The red head sat lounging in her leather recliner, sprawled out in the most unattractive pose imaginable with a bowl of ice cream resting on her thigh. Malon wore a big frumpy beige sweater that was by far the most comfortable item in her wardrobe yet possibly the most hideous, belonging in a librarian's closet. Past that her lean pale legs were bare and her feet were adorned in thick wool socks. She sat watching I Love Lucy in her apartment, the moonlight from the window rolling past her smooth melancholy face to the blue shadows creased along the corners of the room.  
  
Here she was, rich, calorie full, lazy, and satisfyingly unsightly. Yet for all of the perks of her new 'lifestyle sans men', why did it feel like something important was missing?  
  
She watched as the sassy red head on television played out one of her silly plots before being found out by Ricky and of course scolded, "You've got some 'splainin to do, Lucy." However as it went on they eventually made up, Ricky and Lucy, the proverbial ying-yang. They seemed to balance each other out.  
  
Malon sighed and fidgeted with the remote control buttons for a moment. Where was her balance? Was there even such a thing in the real world? Before she'd imagined there was this perfect someone for everyone, yet now, after dating dozens of Mr. Wrongs, she was giving up hope. The beautiful woman's deep brown eyes wafted over to the frame of she and Drake, the only one she'd kept of them together because he was laughing and you could see all his teeth, way far back. In it he didn't look as sexy... well, almost. One time, she'd believed he was the ying to her yang, now she didn't know if there even was such a thing.  
  
Without even realizing it she hit flashback on the remote and a screen flashed on, a green field dotted by uniformed beefcakes all sweating and slamming into each other. She couldn't take here eyes off the tv as loud- mouthed old men in bad toupees went on about plays and side outs. Goddesses, for as much as she wanted to flick it back to dear old Lucy, she just couldn't.  
  
Finally she dropped her head and wallowed, speaking out loud in despair, "I'm a pathetic needy women aren't I? Who am I kidding; I can't go without a boyfriend. For pete sake, I can't even go without hearing those incessant football commentators." She wiped away a tear and looked up again, shaking her head sadly. "Maybe they were right, maybe men are a necessary evil."  
  
And that night Malon learned that while change is good, too much change could leave you in shambles. She decided from then on to date only a little and not rush into any big romances so soon, instead of locking herself away from the whole male population. After all, she made a pretty lousy hermit.  
  
Suddenly a man in a blue uniform darted along the field, closing in on the end zone. Malon leaped up, knocking her bowl of ice cream across the carpet, and screamed, "Come on, Dallas! Make a touch down for momma!"  
  
*  
  
Techno music pulsed loudly, rocking the sweaty bodies that wriggled and grinded against each other on the dance floor. The club was relatively dark with just flashing lights and neon sticks illuminating glistening skin in the sea of people. Most of them were eighteen or twenty year olds out for a good time with fake IDs in hand, away from the heaps of schoolwork and corny part time jobs, yet the twenty two year old Zelda fit right in. The petite blonde wearing a tight black tube top, fitted low dark jeans, and a gold signature necklace moved her body with youthful carelessness, careening against other dancing teens who were all packed close together. Throughout the night she'd danced with so many guys (Or rather boys) she'd lost count, laughing and closing her eyes and flowing with the music. By now her veins ran thick with alcohol and she could see the world blurring by in a mesh of neon glowing lights and moist flesh. This was what she wanted, for her flaxen hair to be haphazardly tumbling down her shoulders, to be lost from the real world for a time.  
  
Again, when the night had worn far into the wee hours, the Princess decided to head back over to the bar to grab yet another drink. She saddled up to the booth, her face glistening from perspiration that in any other setting would seem repulsive, and shouted to the bartender she'd like a shot. It came, clear and translucent and acidic looking, in a small glass and she downed it quickly, wincing and pressing the back of her hand to her lip to wipe away any dribbled liquor. She was numbly aware a man fell to her side, leaning against the bar counter top and staring intently at her.  
  
"Hey beautiful. What's a pretty girl like you doing alone tonight?" he asked her, and his voice was heavy with arrogance and youth. That was a line he'd probably once heard in a movie, where Richard Geere skulked seductively to some stunning actress in a musty bar, and thought it was the perfect way to get a woman into bed.  
  
The flaxen haired woman turned her face to him, her sight blurred by alcohol and bright neon lights, and she could just about see the strong outline of his face. He looked like every other college student, wearing a plaid button shirt open over a white tank top (wife beater) and exceedingly baggy jeans. His face was slightly tan and his auburn eyes glistened, naïve and seemingly-forever in a state of constant sexual prowess.  
  
Zelda giggled almost foolishly, teetering on her vinyl seat, at being referred to as a girl, after all this boy could only be no more than twenty and she surpassed him by a few years. She replied flippantly, the drinks controlling her brain now, "I don't know, I was wondering the same thing."  
  
He pulled his face in closer to hers, admiring her beauty with a visible lust, and breathed, hot air swaying over her skin, "Well I'll change that. My name's Vincent. What's yours gorgeous?"  
  
She took her small hand and let it slide over his cheek, taut and smooth like Bronton's. O Goddesses, why was she thinking of him? Here she was, before a college sex God with his eyes shining in want, and she just had to think of her ex. She dropped her hand slightly and the small part of her brain still churning realized she could not say she was Zelda or else he would recognize her as a member of royalty. She decided on lying this once, after all what did it matter if it was only a secret one-night affair? "... Hiana," she spoke softly and then glanced up at him to see if he had believed her. Of course he had, how would he know any different?  
  
Vincent still did not take his eyes off her as he asked, "So let me buy you another drink huh?"  
  
Zelda looked down at the empty shot glass and shook her head, an act that made her thoughts swim. "Oh no. I've had..." and she tried to count the number of drinks she'd consumed before giving up and finally managing to slur with a laugh, "Enough of those." She glanced back at him and took his strong hand in hers, pulling him closer, before whispering seductively, not at all subtle, "But I could use a place to sleep tonight..."  
  
"Oh...." the boy responded before finally letting the words sink in and his brown eyebrows peaking into twin mountain ranges. He'd never imagined it would be this easy to get such a beautiful woman to go home with him! "Oh! Sure, lets go, babe," he exclaimed and rose from the bar, gently leading the woman along.  
  
Zelda wobbled and staggered between the grinding, shaking teens before finally they exited the club. The cool night air rushed over their fevered flesh, quitting the pulses of their bursting, adrenaline fueled hearts. Vincent led the Princess to a small flashy red sports car, the top already pulled down.  
  
The blonde young woman examined it with her eyes and remarked, "Nice car." The swollen blue moon reflected in the fiery paint job and she could tell this was bought to impress people, a college kid's dream car.  
  
Vincent looked it over hastily too to make sure there were no dents or scratches. "Thanks. I had to work extra shifts at my part time job until I finally could afford this baby," he said while opening the door and starting the throaty engine up.  
  
Zelda realized he wasn't opening her door for her and did so herself, sliding into the tan leather seat. A rock station played nosily on the radio, blaring guitar melodies under a gritty male voice, and the car peeled out of the club's driveway. Wind rushed over them, giving cool caresses to her flushed cheeks and sending her golden hair tumbling behind her in turrets.  
  
As they raced down a dark street, the beautiful woman asked, "So what do you do? Beside picking up drunk girls at bars."  
  
His brown hair was being blown by the gust and for a moment, he looked like some wide-eyed rebel, like James Dean atop a motorcycle. Then he talked, reminding her he was just another college student with a penchant for Abercrombie And Fitch and school football games. "I'm a student at Hyrule University. Hey you don't mind if we head back to my dorm do you? My roomies out spending the night at his girl's house," he asked her.  
  
A song came over the radio, a man's jagged voice huskily singing about love and loss, and she turned the knob to the radio louder. "I love this song!" she proclaimed giddily and drunkenly. Then she made a sideways glance with her pale blue eyes and responded with a shrug, "Ya sure, whatever." She used the teen expression with a small chuckle in her head. All that mattered now was the wind and this song, everything else was simply whatever. Maybe teens today were on to something when they said that expression; maybe life was all just a big bunch of whatever.  
  
The red sports car suddenly swerved into a spot beside the curb and Vincent parked it. "Hey I have to pick up a carton of smokes. You mind?" he questioned but didn't even wait for her reply before exiting the car and walking over to a small street vendor. There he bought a package of cigarettes from a burly man and traded a small exchange of words.  
  
While he did this, Zelda sat listening to the song strum on and watched him from afar. At first she was admiring him, almost with jealousy, at his carefree youth. Where had it all gone, the days when she was much like him? Eventually she began to question herself, she had grown out of even liking college students! She could just picture all those jocks growing up to be beer swilling husky guys that cheered obnoxiously at football games. He was just a kid, she felt she was too old for him, after all she'd had her share and was done with the quick love affairs she'd experienced in her teens. The alcohol was wearing off and she finally realized this wasn't her; maybe Ruto could go around using men, and the occasional boy, like tissues, but she couldn't. There were a million reasons for her to go home and none to stay at Vincent's grungy dorm.  
  
Vincent came over to the car and sat back down in the driver's seat. He unwrapped the cartoon with feverish anticipation. Pulling a long thin cigarette out, he lit it and groaned with pleasure at his first puff, "Mmm. Sorry, I can't go long without one."  
  
Another trend young people started, to try and seem cool, Zelda had even lit one of those death sticks in high school before realizing coffee was a much safer addiction. The young woman looked down and then stammered, regret and tears in her voice, "I... Do you think you could just take me home? I'm sorry."  
  
"Hiana, you ok? Are you going crazy or something?" Vincent asked, staring at her with sudden disapprove. His almost guaranteed sex tonight now seemed like a distant dream, flitting away like the smoke billowing from his nostrils.  
  
Zelda shook her head and leaned against the door, pressing her hand down on it, "My name's not Hiana and no, I'm just going through a tough break up and stuff. Look, I'm sorry but take me home please." Her icy eyes seemed moist and ethereal in the night's quiet darkness.  
  
Now the college student appeared a bit frustrated, his brown eyes sharp with a hard glare at her. She felt that he wouldn't get dangerous with her, yet his words sounded close to a threat, and he snapped, "Sorry, babe. I don't care what your name is, you said your coming home with me and you are."  
  
She tried to press on the door latch but it was locked, he must have the controls on his side. So the beautiful blonde stood with boldness and stepped out onto the trunk, her heels making thunking noises against the metal. With a sharpness to her tone, she retorted, "Well sorry, *babe*, but I'm going home whether you like it or not." Then she took a step off the car and landed on the cement walk, her new heels surprisingly holding up to the wear and tear and proving their money's worth.  
  
Vincent was too preoccupied with his precious car to even notice Zelda's departure. He went pallid, all color draining from his face, and gasped, "Hey! This is a new car! You're psycho, lady!"  
  
Zelda by now was already some ways away but turned her head slightly, her pink lips parting to release flitty laugher, and she quipped, knowing how absolutely ridiculous it would sound, "That's Princess Psycho Lady to you." Then she walked down the street, eyeing the distance for a cab and drinking in the cool metallic moonlight that hugged every corner, smiling to herself all the while. Maybe at one time, still mourning over Bronton, she would have welcomed sleeping in someone... anyone's bed, yet now she was so finally over him that she could stand up for herself and be slightly independent again. As soon as she'd taken a stand on that guy's car, she felt somehow like her old self, the woman that was headstrong and courageous, the woman she'd been before Bronton. It felt so damn good.  
  
*  
  
The door creaked open and a man, followed by a woman in a paper dressing gown and clothes under her arm, entered. The florescent lights reflected in the polished linoleum floor and a padded bed-like structure was against one wall. There was huge mirror upon another, showing the twin images of the couple as they scanned the room.  
  
Uillikan, adorned in grey slacks and a white shirt with a silk patterned tie, swung his arm out invitingly and informed with a broad smile upon his handsome face, "And here's the room were I do all the pre-surgery adjustments. Why don't you sit and relax."  
  
Ruto glanced around nervously, the Zora woman's full chest heaving furiously under the thin shift. She grumbled defensively, "That's a little hard to do being in a hospital room."  
  
The plastic surgeon's giddy expression was unwavering, he knew the routine and how to deal with reluctant patients. "I told you, don't think of this as a hospital. Think of this as a sort of spa, one that will totally change your outlook on life, not to mention your appearance," he ran off his memorized speech.  
  
The smell of sterilization and the harsh lighting made Ruto scoff at the idea of it being a spa. She rolled her wide honey eyes and spat, "Spa's offer you half off a seaweed wrap, not half off your nose. There's a difference." Let it be known that when Ruto was facing one of her greatest phobias, she was a force to be reckoned with.  
  
"I already told you, we are only taking off a small part! Ruto, honey, I'm getting the impression you don't want to do this," the flaxen haired man said and leaned in to her, touching her smooth luminous blue cheek gently with his fingers in a form of encouragement and console.  
  
She peered into his dark green eyes and sighed. "No, no, I do. I get bitchy when I'm scared, that's all, sorry," she replied in apology. Finally she slid onto the couch-like "thingy", her spindly legs swaying in the air.  
  
Uillikan was again undaunted and beamed, "I understand, do you know how many women have cursed me out right before surgery in the years I've worked here? I'm use to it by now." Then he grabbed something from a nearby desk and sat on a stool. Using his feet to roll over to the front of her, he began to study the bone structure of her face. "Hmm let's see, I'll make the incision here..." the surgeon pondered out-loud and then uncapped what appeared to be a thick black marker, hovering the felt point over her nose.  
  
The Zora blurted out, her mouth hanging open, aghast, "What are you doing?"  
  
His eyes darted to meet hers and he mumbled a bit preoccupied, "O sorry, I forgot to tell you I have to draw a diagram on where I will make the punctures. It helps as a guide." Then he began to run the tip over her flesh, the lines making willowy movements over her shimmering skin. She closed her eyes, trying to picture the scalpel making the same deep stinging route over her face, and almost fainted right there and then.  
  
Finally the marker halted, as did Uillikan's hand's fevered movements, and he studied his work with approve. "Well I think that's all of them. How's that look to you?" he said and quickly rolled again to the desk to retrieve a small hand-held mirror before wheeling back over.  
  
Ruto held the mirror up and looked at her reflection; her beautiful face marred by black lines all dancing along the seams of her nose. For a moment she forget the surgery ahead of her and thought then to her new, rounder nose, how stunning a profile she would cut while sitting in a martini bar. Her amber eyes flickered with sudden joy and she purred softly, "Good... Perfect." Yes, she most definitely saw before her a perfect Ruto.  
  
The man still held his marker in ready and inquired eagerly, like a child awaiting a new toy, "Do you want me to touch up on any thing else? Breast enlargement maybe?"  
  
The Zora gave him a sharp look and said defiantly, "No, my breasts are fine, thank you very much. A new nose is all I can handle at the moment." Again she glanced back at the little hand mirror, at the fabulous her staring back. Why was she being so uptight, what was so wrong with a little work being done? Heaven's knows practically every other wealthy woman in Hyrule had had some done already; Dark Realm, you practically needed to throw down flares and cones with all the construction work they did! She added softly, "Except my thighs do seem to have gotten a little bigger."  
  
This caused a pleasurable smile to ripple over Uillikan's stubble adorned face and he said knowingly, "How about I leave the marker here and you circle any of the areas you wish to change while I'm off preparing the surgery room. No pressure." He dropped the marker to Ruto's side on the plastic bed and stood from the stool, kicking it back over to its place near the desk.  
  
Then he leaned over, placing a hand on each side of Ruto and forcing her to let go of her gaze on the mirror's reflection. His nose gently brushed against hers as he rasped lustfully, "Can I just tell you Ruto how happy I am that you want to do this. Normally women are a little turned off when I suggest getting something fixed, they see it as a personal attack. But you know as well as I do that people are born with flaws, your nose being one of them, and it's not a crime against nature to improve on the human form. I find that so confident and... arousing. Not to mention you look sexy in a paper gown." Then he pushed his lips against hers to exchange in a brief, passionate meeting of flesh, before pulling away again. The blonde man stood and strided out the door.  
  
Ruto sat alone in the "spa", swimming in her thoughts. Why should I be the only socialite in all of Hyrule not to get some plastic surgery done? After all, I have the best surgeon in the city right here at my disposal; better make good use of him! With that thought firmly held within her head, the Zora seductress leaped down from the stiff padding and promptly slid off her gown, the paper dress collapsing to the floor in a heap of crumpled material. She began to appraise her body like a dress on display at a store, scrunching her nose at her body's inaccuracies. "I guess my thighs are a little too close together for my liking... My forearm looks hideous, like they belong to some farmer's wife whose churned butter too long! O gosh, my left ass cheek feels slightly lower then the other...." and as she rattled off a list of her faults she began to make wide circles in marker at these places. This went on for more then a solid minute, her arm moving at a delirious pace. The plastic surgery fever had hit Ruto. Hard.  
  
"Well that should do it..." Finally done, she capped the marker and put her instrument of destruction down. With a deep intake of breath, the Zora stepped foreword before the tall full mirror and cried out in horror! There before her she saw her reflection, a slender Zora woman with a maze of more than a dozen lines and circles all criss-crossing over her pallid flesh, a map of black tracks all stretching along her body. In fact there was not one spot on her that she had liked! A tear fell from the corner of her eye to shiver down the soft roll of her cheek, smearing the lines running around her nose.  
  
What had she done? Maybe she'd believed that letting Uillikan work his magic on her, make her perfect, would in exchange transform her into a happy woman. Yet now she could see, even if she had every part of her body worked on, there would still be that little "flaw" that always nagged at her to be changed - a bent pinky toe, uneven breasts. Ruto burst in outrage at herself, wiping away the moist tear from her face, "What's the matter with me? Guys faint for these ass cheeks, cabs screech to a halt at these calves! Uillikan can go find another woman to turn into some fake plastic doll!"  
  
The woman grabbed at her clothes that were left off to the side and hurriedly dressed. In a vivid blue skirt and jacket set, she raised her chin high and sauntered out of the room... O, not, of course, without getting a little revenge (Maybe a little petty but this is Ruto were talking about, nothing's too low for her).  
  
Ten minutes later exactly, Uillikan returned to the room, his frame hidden in a white lab coat. He scanned the room but there was no Ruto in sight. Then he spotted writing scrawled in elegant scrip along the tall mirror and as he read it he could almost picture the Zora beauty sniggering as she wrote it:  
  
Maybe my biggest "flaw" is my nose but yours is your small dick! Why don't you try fixing that with a blade, you pompous jackass!  
  
*  
  
Link bent over his clothesbasket and was concentrating on separating his garments, a crease on his brow. The tall young man wore loose jeans and a dark blue shirt, his muscular upper arms bulging under the fabric as he worked diligently. The laundry matt was filled with people on this early Sunday morning who were eager to wash their clothes, the machines whirring with foam.  
  
"You do know that you are breathing in that foul air without a gas mask don't you?" came a familiar voice close to Link's ear and he looked up to see a beautiful blonde smiling sheepishly at him. Zelda had her own bin at her hip and wore faded loose denim pants with a form fitting plaid halter top, her hair pulled up high on her head into an adorable ponytail.  
  
His dark cobalt eyes flickered at the sight of her and he stood, forgetting the basket for a time. "Yea but I've become immune to it. Huh, if there was ever an air-bred disease and every living thing died on the face of the earth, the cockroaches and I would probably be the only things living. Makes you think," he replied in mock sincerity.  
  
The Princess gave a short spasm of laughter and shook her head. "No, I'm trying not to," she responded matter-of-factly.  
  
A smile spread across Link's well-defined, sun-kissed face and he met her gaze intensely. "I missed you, Zelda. We haven't talked in awhile; I was starting to think you were avoiding me..." he spoke without any hint of humor.  
  
The young woman downcast her gaze, away from the man with the adorable smile and shaggy dirty blonde hair, and muttered softly in shame, "Uh I sort of was..."  
  
"Well, that doesn't sound good," he interjected, the grin diminishing from his face into a faint trace.  
  
Zelda eyed her clothes in avoidance of Link's eager glance and began, "Listen, I need to talk to you... about what happened the night of Bronton's party."  
  
Link nodded and there was a vague glimmer of happiness in his tone as he spoke, "Yea, I've been wanting to talk to you about that too. I thought a lot about what happened, Zelda, and - "  
  
The Princess blurted out, unable to let herself hear what he had to say for fear of the words that would come next, "It was a huge mistake on my part, Link." There, she'd said it, and now it hung heavy in the air.  
  
The young man's eyes went wide yet he tried to hide his shock... and dismay. His lips grew taut, as all he could merely respond with was an, "Oh?"  
  
Her pallid cheeks were tinged with a soft flush as she burned with shame. "It was just, after seeing Bronton and finally R.I.P'ing our relationship..." Zelda continued, her voice faint with uncertainty and regret, "I don't know... I guess I just needed comfort in someone, and you were right there, being so nice to me. I'm really, really sorry, Link, I took advantage of you and it was dumb of me."  
  
Now it was Link's turn to feel like a foolish idiot. How could I have ever thought she even cared for me? Come on, she could have any guy, why would she pick a washed-up hero like me? "No it wasn't, I get it, Zelda. I was there at the right place at the right time, it could have been any guy and you would have kissed him. I get it, it wasn't anything special, *I* wasn't anyone special," he spluttered and mentally punched himself.  
  
Zelda's pastel blue eyes went soft and she reached a gentle hand over to his warm forearm. She suddenly realized how much her actions had hurt him and consoled, "But you are! You're one of my closest friends, Link, you mean more to me than a dozen boyfriends! Please forgive me; I'd never want to screw up what we have."  
  
The blonde haired man looked away at the tiles of the floor, at Zelda's reflection in the glossy mint green surface, before gazing back up into her eyes. She was unable to distinguish what he'd say next, would he forgive her or go on to hate her for the rest of his life? Finally, he responded, in typical Link form, "Just a dozen?"  
  
A soft smile spread across her lush petal lips and she giggled. Goddesses, it was great having him back! "Ok a dozen and a half. Not that foreign guy though that was good in bed, but that balding one, ya you definatly mean more to me than him," she spoke with a nod of her head, causing her golden ponytail to shiver and sway against her back.  
  
Link went back to disentangling socks and shirts, while a smooth lopsided grin fell over his face. "I'm touched," he retorted flatly.  
  
Zelda watched him for a moment, studied the way his chest heaved in bulges under the material of his shirt and he would every once in awhile send a hand carousing through his tousled blonde locks. She spoke up in hesitance, raising her slender gilded brows, "So are we still friends? It won't be weird now between us will it; you won't start calling my phone and then hanging up will you? Make any voodoo dolls in my likeness? Join the 'I Hate Zelda' support group?"  
  
The young man turned to face her again with a mock expression of contemplation, before saying, "Hmm no. You mean a lot to me as a friend too, Zelda. Who else can I go to when I need women advice?"  
  
The blonde beamed, "Just me," before thinking it over and adding jokingly, "Well, Rauru too, but we won't comment on his effeminate nature."  
  
Link laughed and than shrugged, telling her, "Besides, now that you're a dating columnist, I'd be too afraid we'd break up, you'd write something bad about me, and suddenly I'd become the most hated man in the kingdom. Hero one minute, Hyrule's Ten Most Wanted the next."  
  
The Princess slipped a hand in her jean pocket and informed him comically, "Oh you bet you would. I can just see it now, splashed across all the newspapers in the city - The Hero of Slime Breaks Poor Princess's Heart. Also, exclusive information on just how sucky he is in bed."  
  
Link held back his laughter and shook his head, splaying his hair across his forehead and crying out softly in indignation, "Lies! All lies I tell you!"  
  
Again the Hero returned to his laundry duties and Zelda was about to leave to see to her own chore, passing by him only to turn on the heels of her sneakers and punch him lightly in the shoulder. He looked up at her, intense eyes glimmering incredulously, and she told him with a soft honest smile on her pretty features, "It's good we're back to normal. I'd miss this, ya know."  
  
"Yea..." he whispered but his smile was less believing and there were a thousand doubts running beyond his handsome eyes. Was it so wrong to want to take this friendship to another level? There was a long pause before Link, realizing how unconvincing his act had become, said with a hollow laugh, "Well I need to finish cleaning this hazardous waste. My work is never done, citizen."  
  
Her body shook with giggles and she quipped, "Gosh, whatever would we do without you, Hero of Slime?" Then she gripped her basket higher and told him with a wink, "See you around, Link." He watched her walk off to her own machine, her sneakers scuffing the smooth floor and large clothes heap in hand. Then with disappointment ringing in his face, he went back to sorting through the soiled articles. Alone he thought that while change is good, maybe right now staying the way things are is better.  
  
*  
  
Hemorrhage (In My Hands) Fuel  
  
Memories are just where you laid them ~ Drag the waters 'till the depths give up their dead ~ What did you expect to find? ~ Was there something you left behind? ~ Don't you remember anything I said when I said?  
  
Don't fall away, and leave me to myself ~ Don't fall away and leave love bleeding ~ In my hands, in my hands again ~ Leave love bleeding ~ In my hands, in my hands ~ Love lies bleeding  
  
Oh hold me now I feel contagious ~ Am I the only place that you've left to go? ~ She cries her life is like ~ Some movie black and white ~ Dead actors faking lines ~ Over and over and over again she cries  
  
Don't fall away, and leave me to myself ~ Don't fall away, and leave love bleeding ~ In my hands, in my hands again ~ Leave love bleeding ~ In my hands, in my hands ~ Love lies bleeding  
  
And I wanted ~ You turned away ~ You don't remember, but I do ~ You never even tried  
  
Don't fall away and leave me to myself ~ Don't fall away and leave love bleeding ~ In my hands, in my hands again ~ Leave love bleeding ~ In my hands, in my hands ~ Love lies bleeding  
  
*  
  
Closing Notes: Well what did you think of this chapter three? It was more of a Nab/Gan installment I admit, but there was also a little in there about everyone else, not to mention a bit of Link (Yay! ^__^). Do not fear Z/L shippers, this is not the end of the Hero and his Princess's dating relationship, and in fact, now that Bronton is *seemingly* out of the picture, this is only the beginning! Next chapter look to see more from Malon (The poor girl was barely a guest spot in this one!) and everything else I am yet undecided. BTW, I do not know what is up with Link and washing clothes! In two of the three chapters so far he's been in the process or about to wash his clothes, maybe he has obsessive-compulsive disorder... Haha! I kid, I kid because I love! On another tangent, I know nothing about plastic surgery but I did watch the True Life on MTV so I hope it's close to accurate and I did not screw up too bad.  
  
Well until next chapter, see you around! 


	4. Episode Four: Three's A Crowd

**Author's Note: **This fanfic is of course inspired by "Sex And The City" but it still is original in the sense that I am not copying any plot lines from the show and that this is the only story of its kind in the Zelda section of fanfic.net (True? I hope so...). Also you don't have to watch the show to read this fic. 

This is rated R and intended for only mature readers. Though I think I won't go into as much... how shall I say, bedroom affairs as the show does ("Sex And The City" concentrates on the girls' sex lives, my fic will focus on the dating aspect more), I will no doubt be mentioning it. Plus be prepared for some foul language! Yesa! 

This is somewhat like an alternate universe fic because Ganon was never sent to the Sacred Realm (Hey I had to find some way to hook him and Nabby up didn't I?). Also they have televisions, phones, laundry mats, etc. Possible relationships are Z/L and N/G. 

So sit back ~ relax ~ and enjoy the show! (Shhh! No talking!)

**Special Notes: **It's official: I love Mi-Chan! You give me the best compliments, I'm really happy you liked my story! You rock my socks! Thanks to everyone who reviewed too, you guys are awesome. ^_^ Also fanfiction.net is screwing this chapter up and it better not happen again. It just makes this chapter into a bunch of ! maybe I should complain to the people who run the site? (Yes I'm a whiner!)

*

The Singles 

By: Jasmine

*

That wasteland of broken hearts, disheveled one night stands, and the occasional long-term relationship has been referred to as many things; the dating scene, gambling, love life, war, and (Mostly by me) the Underworld. More often then not though it is called by most as the quote unquote game. What pertell is 'the game', you ask? It is that joyous sport of maneuvering through countless exs, weathering the heartbreak while dishing out a few of your own, in short its football - but with the goal line being a serious relationship, the tackles just as lethal, and by the Goddesses with better uniforms! 

Now one cannot have a quote unquote game without a player correct? Ah but I have unwittingly stumbled upon the mythical beast known as the player, or better yet the 'playa'; that subspecies of bachelors/bachelorets that feasts on human hearts, hard liquor, and that one moment when you think you've fallen in love only to be crushed. Mind you, I am not talking about the person who engages in a few one-night stands occasionally; the playa is a hybrid of a single, mutated to flirtatious perfection. They are those who are born with the Superman capability of stringing two or more women/men along at once (I've heard of seven! That is not recommended for the reading audience and seven relationships at once should only be undertaken with extreme caution and remember, it was not I who gave you the idea!). They are by far and without a doubt the linebacker of the game, that brick wall that keeps all from gaining a monogamous relationship. 

Well now you are probably thinking that's all well and good but how exactly does that help you? Or perhaps you've stopped reading as precisely you hit my deep, intellectual football metaphor and now my column has served as a nice mug coaster... But I digress. The definition of a player is already common knowledge but I doubt many are aware of the telltale signs you may be dating one. Unexplained cell phone calls, answer machine messages, pages, etc.? Other women's or men's belongings found at his/her apartment? Lipstick appearing in weird places that do not match any shade you own (No not that weird place, you sicko! Glasses, sheets, etc.)? Enough business meetings a month that it starts to make you wonder if he's a hush hush agent for the government? If you've answered yes to any or all of the above then you, my friend, may just be dating a playa. No, step back from the ledge! It isn't as bad as it seems. First try to confirm your fears with substantial evidence, use *69 on his phone (May I meet the _brilliant_ man who decided those numbers up please) to call back any of the other unsuspecting people your not-so-significant other is dating, follow him/her to one of his/her supposed 'business' meetings, or be so bold as to confront the playa upfront. However, and this is MOST important so don't skip over to the available singles ad section just yet, never ever try to change a player, and this applies in all circumstances. Although you may think you're loved one has suddenly gained 'enlightenment' and he/she may even remain devoted for a few weeks at best, eventually he/she will stray. It is nearly impossible to reform a player by sheer will, only when they truly want to transform will they. After all, how does the saying go? "You can take the dog out of the game but you can't take the game out of the dog." Ya something like that...      

~ Princess Zelda

*

"Episode Four: Three's A Crowd" 

*

The sun was a perfect golden orb in the vast morning horizon, gilded bands smearing across the grey landscape of jutting buildings, warming the cold lifeless mortar. Malon strutted down the street, practically skipping in her strappy ivory heels that tied across her ankles in a delicate webbing, and the knee length dusty pink dress with a cloth white flower and lime green ribbon at her shoulder. Her medium length crimson hair was wavy and glistening, her pale face adorned with a giddy smile, she felt suddenly so rejuvenated and appreciative of life. Maybe it was in part from being single for the first time in a year and fully recovering from Drake... Maybe it was this glorious singing yellow and vivid blue Saturday morning that was now settling over the bustle of the city that had lifted her spirit... Maybe it was a little bit of both and everything in between.

Malon saw a man selling fresh fruit, he was reading the newspaper and sitting on a stool, and she decided that would make an excellent breakfast so she saddled up to the wooden cart and rummaged her gaze over the varying explosion of colors. As she did so she became aware of a young man stepping to her side as well, taking in the sight too, but she did not dare glance in his direction. Malon lifted a crisp fire engine red apple and tested the firm skin with her fingertips, the body tough and unyielding. 

"You don't want that one," a male voice spoke up and Malon turned her head abruptly in his direction, shooting him a questioning yet inviting gaze, long auburn strands splaying over her bare shoulders. The man looked to be in his mid twenties and undeniably attractive, with short chestnut hair and pale blue eyes. He wore a simple outfit of grey slacks and a button down white shirt with expensive shoes, giving off the slight indication that he indeed was wealthy yet did not flaunt it. He smiled slightly and shifted his shy gaze, taking a russet colored apple in his large palm and giving it to Malon, their fingers brushing slightly against each others causing shivers of feathery friction. "Here, this one's much better. The key is in the smell," he added softly. He took his warm long fingers and wrapped them over hers, raising the fruit to her pert nose and relishing the feel of her smooth supple skin.  

The red haired beauty took a deep inhale and her nostrils swam with the ripe heady scent of a fresh perfectly aged apple. She smiled luminously and breathed, "Mmm. Wow, it smells great. How'd you get to be such an apple expert?"           

He took her in with his pallid sea blue eyes and there was an innocent bashfulness and sweetness to him that instantly attracted Malon. "I own a restaurant and lets just say I've had my fair share of apple smelling," he replied with a soft chuckle.

Malon inclined a slender scarlet eyebrow and inquired, "Really? Can't you buy apples wholesale?" She crossed her legs and leaned in foreword a bit, sending him her best 'I'm all yours' glances. 

The man nodded his head and replied, "I could... But there is nothing like a ripe, perfect apple, aged to perfection. Its not the same from wholesalers, they are so impersonal and the apples are half grown when we get them. No one would know the difference of course but I would, I have a great appreciation for food since I am a bit of a cook myself..." There was a passion and adoration laced in his voice that Malon practically melted for, she dreamed of the moment a man would use such love when speaking of her. He was exactly her type; sweet, charming yet not cocky, and a damn cook! What more could a girl ask for? Then a faint bashfulness came over him and he bowed his head slightly, remarking, embarrassed, "Sounds dumb, I know, but I put my heart into that restaurant."

A dreamy sigh bubbled from Malon's lush rose tinted lips and she interjected, "I don't think that sounds dumb at all. What restaurant do you own?" The wistful haze clouded her rich chocolate eyes and the soft breeze played attentively with strands of soft scarlet hair and spun the vivid green silk ribbons. 

The iridescent morning light rippled over his chiseled face and fractured along the pale cerulean of his irises. "Old English on the corner of fifth. Well I'm co-owner," he informed and he was captivated by her, the tenderness of her smile and the honey methodical way her voice danced when she spoke. 

The name sounded familiar to her and rightly so, it was the buzz of the city; Old English was a recently remodeled restaurant in the wealthier part of town, with a very proper and warm feel to it, it was also rumored to have the best breakfasts in the west side of the city. There was also quite a flurry of gossip spread about the handsome and sweet co-owner and current bachelor, Wesing. "I've never been to Old English but I've heard its really great. You must be Wesing then," she said. 

He smiled and rose up all his boldness to remark adorably, "Yes, my name is Wesing and I guess those people I paid to rave about my restaurant are finally repaying me. You should stop by tomorrow, my treat; we always love to have pretty women around, it gives the cooks inspiration." 

The red haired woman's heart skipped at his compliment and inside she grinned widely although she did her best to keep her calm demeanor up. Smiling softly, she nodded her head and said while starting to turn away, "OK. Well thanks for the fruit." Of course she wanted to pursue him but that was not in her nature, Malon never ever made the first move, that way she knew where she stood with him and did not come off like she was in complete worship of him.

He paused before they usually very timid young man blurted, "Hey I'm not usually this foreword but do you think by any chance I could get your number?" 

A pleased smile slid across the young woman's petal lips and she turned to face him once again. "Yes," she replied a bit too hastily before rethinking her overly-joyous statement and adding as cool as possible, "Sure." She slipped a piece of paper from her oversized cream suede bag and jotted down her number along with her name and handed it to him, their fingers gliding against each others for the second time. 

Wesing glanced down at the shred of paper and gazed up at her with his pallor blue eyes, softly remarking, "Malon, that's a beautiful name." He then folded it and placed it in his pants pocket. The tall well-built young man handed his brown bag full of apples to the man behind the cart and spoke up warmly as he did so, "I'll just be taking these today, Uliam." 

Malon could not remove the goofy yet strikingly beautiful smile from her face, when suddenly she noticed something golden glimmering on his ring finger of his left hand. It was a small simple band that reflected the morning sun into the young woman's dark eyes and filled her with shock; it was a wedding ring. "You're... You're married?" she questioned in disbelief and at once suspected she had been hit on by some skeezy pervert whose wife was probably an innocent victim sitting at home this very instant crying her dear little eyes out.  

He had already paid the street vendor and gave her one last glance, saying very matter-of-factly and haphazardly, "No, I use to. I'm divorced now. Ok Malon, I hope to see you again." Then Wesing smiled briefly and turned to stride down the street, leaving a very surprised young woman in his wake. 

*

Ganon sat in his office, bands of flaxen light parting through the half raised blinds to draw long willowy lines across his tan flesh. His crisp white shirt was rolled up to his elbows and the green silk tie hung loose around his neck as he worked diligently at his computer. 

There came a slight rapping at his office door and a familiar woman's voice inquired from outside, "Knock knock?"

The man shifted his eyes of the stark screen and called curiously, "Come in." The door slid open slightly and a tall, slender beauty entered. A black pencil skirt hugged her small hips, a slight edge of crimson lace peaking purposely all along the hem, and a button up red blouse accentuated her chest. Her long scarlet hair was pulled back into a low tidy bun and stilettos wrapped themselves in flimsy red straps along her dainty feet. Ganondorf withheld his gasp at his stunning girlfriend and tried to remain cool, even as he gawked, "Knock-out is more like it. Your looking exceptionally beautiful today, Nabooru."

A small smile glanced across her bronze features and the Gerudo spoke very business-like, "Thank you. I've also got us a nice table at the exclusive bistro down the block, which I might add we will be late for in exactly ten minutes and counting." 

Her boyfriend gave her a confused look and asked with beseeching dark eyes, "What for?"

Nabooru folded her long, spindle arms and retorted humorously, "Hm well there is this thing that comes between breakfast and dinner; its very popular in Hyrule so maybe you've heard about it before."

"I know what lunch is, wise guy. I don't think I can make it today though, I am getting really behind and I have this gigantic case soon..." Ganondorf began his list of excuses.

The tall woman narrowed her amber eyes and seethed in feigned anger, "If you tell me that I dressed up and survived **heels **for nothing then I may just be forced to use one of these pointed Milan shoes in a very painful way." She raised a foot and pointed at it to illustrate her statement. 

Ganondorf chuckled dryly and then glanced once more at his flickering laptop screen with a sigh. "Alright, alright, I give up. Lead the way, my o so sexy slave driver," he remarked and stood to follow the young woman out of his office door.  

They walked the way, chatting and joking to each other. Nabooru allowed her hand to be engulfed in Ganon's elbow and enjoyed the sensation of basking in her boyfriend's company for the afternoon. All too soon they arrived at the outdoor restaurant, a small area of wrought iron tables and chairs sheltered by an out-cropping of deep green canopy. It was outlined by a rail fence and relatively packed with talking business people. 

Nabooru strode up to the young hostess, dressed in her crisp white and blue stripped uniform, and instructed formally, "Two under Nabooru please." The impish brunette, with her hair clipped up primly, smiled politely and scanned her books before ushering them foreword. 

As they walked between the clamoring of tables, the red haired man leaned over to whisper in her ear, with the hint of a sardonic smile, "Under 'Nabooru'? What's next; you'll make me quit my job and become a stay-at-home househusband, ironing your shirts and caring for little Ganon Jr.?" 

The beauty laughed quietly and quipped in a hushed voice, "I think you mean Nabooru Jr." 

The young woman pointed at their table and the two seated themselves. She gave them each a menu before running off the usual welcoming, dipping a slight head bow, and weaving away. 

Nabooru perused over the list of foods and thought aloud, "The Caesar salad looks good. But then again I have been craving a hamburger for the longest time; it must be my inner cavewoman. What are you getting?"

The man at the opposite end of the small table looked up as well, people sweeping by in a sea of undulating movement beyond the small black fence. "So what made you decide to have lunch with me?" he asked abruptly and clearly something he had been mulling over. 

                The tanned woman glanced down at her menu, squinting her amber eyes and jabbing lightly, "Well, I don't see that on the menu..." 

                He withheld his laughter and merely gave her a dry look. "Come on, answer my question," he countered.

                "Can't I want to spend time with my boyfriend on a whim?" Nabooru responded nonchalantly with a shrug of her shoulders and a flourish of a slim hand. 

                Ganon shook his fiery head stubbornly, sarcastically remarking, "Normally I'd say yes but I know you, so therefore I'd have to go with: b) No chance in Underworld."      

                The bronzed beauty sighed exasperatedly, bands of willowy dilating butter cream light grazing her skin and reflecting off her scarlet hair, and snapped slightly, "Fine, I was hungry, you happy?"

                "No," the man said and then continued, suspiciously narrowing his dark eyes, "This is some kind of boyfriend test isn't it? To see how my work place is and the people I surround myself with? Come on, its not like I've never dated before, Nab."

                Nabooru's mouth fell agape and she thought in a gasp_, how did he know_? Of course, this was a test; **everything** she did had a purpose. It was her set rule: a little less then a month, she would dress up stunningly and sweep by her boyfriend's workplace to take him out to lunch. This way she could scan for flirtatious secretaries or any other warning signs and if she had enough reason to be cautious she would merely dump him. Still the young woman threw up her hands and exclaimed, seemingly frustrated, "Don't flatter yourself! I was craving a salad and you were the only person close enough to where I work and slightly tolerable. Don't get all that excited, it was a close race between you and the copy machine Nazi at my work." 

                Still not truly convinced, Ganondorf grinned and teased, "Wow, that was beautiful. You work for greeting cards don't you?" Yet he knew it was no use to press it further and turned back to his menu.   
 

                They were deciding on their lunch when suddenly a voice called, "Hey Ganny! Fancy catching you here." Two sets of eyes flickered up to see a pair of tackily dressed woman grinning at them. One wore a leopard print shirt and pants that were far too tight for her stubby body and platinum blonde hair (With an inch of dark roots) pilled high on her head. The other, or Twidle-Dum as Nabooru took to calling her with a secretive smirk, was just as oversized and was adorned in a sweater with a sequined cat on it, her dark hair falling to her shoulders. They both had wrinkles lining their faces and looked to be in their forties. Nabooru thought then that this test may be in vain if these woman were a small sample of the secretaries in his office. 

                Ganondorf smiled, but his emotions were unreadable, and he greeted mock warmly, "O hello. Taila, Marsa, this is my girlfriend..."  

                The woman with the skyscraper hair, whom Nabooru believed was Marsa, chirped up, interrupting Ganondorf, "Let me guess, this is the infamous Natalia we've heard so much about!"

                The man grimaced and shook his head. "Uh no, Natalia and I broke up a few months ago. This is..." he began before yet again one of the women interjected. 

                "Fafay!" the one with the hideous grandma sweater blurted. Taila rolled her eyes at Marsa and snorted, "Marsa, don't you remember him telling us he was going out with that girl Fafay? Honestly, you can be so clueless."

                The blindingly blonde woman giggled and commented, "Wow, you're right. It must be all that whiteout I've been sniffing at work. I just go around walking into walls all day long and seeing pink elephants." To emphasize her point she held out her arms and started walking in place, before erupting into cackling laughter. 

                Nabooru gave her a questioning look and decided to try to put an end to their guessing game. "No, sorry to be a buzz kill, but my name's Nabooru," she said, obviously making fun of them yet the two women did not notice. 

                Again Marsa gave off a bleated, hysterical laugh. "Buzz kill! Ha ha, why you're a riot! You've got a real funny girl here, Ganon, you better keep this one," she commented and slapped Nabooru rowdily on the back, sending her jolting foreword and fighting to keep her temper. 

                The young man tried to keep from meeting his girlfriend's angry glare and remarked in a weak attempt to get the ghastly gaudy women to switch topics, "I intend to... Now if you ladies don't mind, we're going to eat."

                 This however did not work in ridding the couple of the annoying women and Taila gushed, "Well I never thought I'd see the day Ganondorf Dragmire sat down to a decent meal! I was beginning to think you were a company robot." 

                Nabooru was beginning to rethink this whole workplace test; obviously these older women with their high-pitched voices were not a threat to their relationship. "Ya well, I just showed up at his work and dragged him here," she relinquished. 

                 The peroxide blonde sighed, her huge chest heaving, "Good for you. If it were up to this old workhorse he'd stop breathing to get more paper work done."

                "So what do you do, **Naroobu**?" Taila questioned, pronouncing her name wrong. The young woman with the long scarlet hair and feathery eyelashes was about to respond when the secretary cried out, "No don't tell me, don't tell me, I like to guess. You look like a..." The brunette squinted one eye and studied the slender female before crying out, "Cocktail waitress! O maybe a provocative dancer? With the shake shake, sexy dance and little glitter pasties. I bet they call you Desert Diva or something like that?" She jiggled her full body for affect and wiggled her hips, causing several restaurant patrons to glance over. 

                Nabooru's high smooth cheeks flushed boiling red and she had to fight from exploding with anger. Her chestnut hued eyes swelled wide and she shouted, "I am part of the joint governing commission of the Gerudos! And the name's Nabooru. N-A-B-O-O-R-U."

                Of course the secretaries were still undaunted and Marsa chimed up with a laugh, "O wow this one's got spunk! She's got a little kick, I bet her dancing name's Hot Sauce."

                The woman with the hideously distracting sweater nodded and glanced over at her friend knowingly, remarking as she did so under her breath, "Well she's gotta be to tame this one over here huh? He was a real wild one."

                The Gerudo beauty raised her slender scarlet eyebrows and inquired with curiosity, "What do you mean by that?"

                Marsa smiled upon recalling the fond memories and responded, "He was the lover of the firm, I remember all the secretaries would practically wet themselves when they saw him..."

                "That's not true," the lawyer interrupted abruptly and then looked at his girlfriend earnestly, saying as he did so, "I swear that's not true." 

                The brunette seemed to pay no attention to Ganon's denial and pondered aloud, "What was that nickname we use to call you? You know the one... O Goddesses what was it now?" She tapped her chin with long acrylic nails, painted with little kittens. 

                Ganondorf again tried to rebuff it, "I didn't have a nickname..."

                Marsa merely shook her head, the hairspray caked blonde hair quivering and for a moment Nabooru thought it might crumble, before remarking, "Yes, yes you did. Hmm its on the tip of my tongue..."

                "Senor Suave!" Taila blurted out, a proud smile resting on her lips. 

                Nabooru practically had to resist the urge to gap and her pale brown eyes registered slight amusement and anger. "Senor Suave? You have got to be kidding me," she said.

                "Yup, he was a charmer with the ladies alright," Marsa said and then looked at Ganon, continuing with the nostalgia, "Remember that time at the Christmas party when I walked in on you and one of the secretaries in the coat room doing the ol' nasty nasty..."

                The man's eyes swelled wide and he practically shouted, nowhere close to a question but rather an urgent command, "Shouldn't you ladies be going now!"

                The brown haired secretary smiled and responded cluelessly, "O of course! Where are our manners, you two are probably famished, what with all the shagging you have been up to. See you love birds back at the office. Ta!" Then the two curvy women strutted away to leave the couple in shocked silence.

                Ganon turned to his girlfriend after a pause and he began, "I know this looks bad..."

                Nabooru was in gaping surprise and she behaved as if she hadn't even heard his statement. "Senor Suave?" she asked with disbelief at the cheesy nickname.

                The lawyer shook his head and said in his defense, "Its really not what they make it out to be, trust me. Those two like to embellish."

                The young beauty's eyes were wide and she exclaimed in disgust, again acting as if she had not heard a word, "Senor Suave!"

                The red haired man tried again, "Look I know what you're thinking..."

                Finally Nabooru snapped out of her astonishment and retorted with a flicker of intense anger and shame burning in her amber eyes, "O really? Then you'd know I'm wondering how in the Dark Realm I ever saw anything in you? Or how completely ridiculous I feel right now?" 

                Ganondorf sighed and attempted to reason with her, "Nabooru, come on. This was a test and you know it. You're just looking for something, anything, to break up with me over, because you're too scared: scared this may actually be something and you may actually care about someone."

                "O just stop with the bullshit already!" the woman suddenly cried out, causing several eyes to avert her way, and she threw up her hands in frustration. "You don't know me, you don't know anything about me. I can see right through you though; I know your little game. You probably just wanted to get me to sleep with you huh? Well screw off alright. Don't ever call me again," she finished with seething anger. She rose from the table and grabbed up her black leather purse/briefcase.

                The young man called out to her, even as he watched her visibly defeated and surrendering from this relationship, "Fine, believe what you want, I know I can't change your mind. But this really wasn't about getting you in the sack. I wish you'd trust me on this... Nabooru, this has been the best month with you then I've ever had with any other woman in my entire life. Don't do this."

                Nabooru merely shook her head, slices of glimmering golden light echoing off her scarlet hair, and responded softly, "A month? Wow, I'm so sorry I wasted your time for this long. Now your free to move on to the next woman and jump into bed with her." She began to walk away when she paused and glanced back at him with rage. "And o ya, this was a test, you're right about that. And guess what else? You failed," she remarked bitterly and continued with her stride. 

*

                The sallow moon spread luminescent blue tinges across the city, long spindly shadows etching along the street. Two figures walked along the sidewalk, their footsteps making hollow echoing sounds against the buildings. Street lamps sent warm golden light over them as they passed under and other couples littered the street as well, gliding past them in love-absorbed worlds. Zelda was adorned in a little black mini-dress, encrusted with small glittering dark beads, and tall knee-high black boots that made her slender statuesque legs appear even longer. Strung midnight colored beads wrapped tightly around her neck three times and were hung with a dark jeweled cross; pin straight flaxen hair trailed down her back.

                A man with longish dark hair, brushing his ears, and wearing an informal suit of a button down white shirt sans tie and black slacks, walked beside her. They were conversing openly and seemingly getting along well, just having exited a smoky, sultry jazz bar. "I read your article last week. It was really good; I was surprised that you have so much talent," he said to the Princess sincerely. 

                Zelda smiled and replied, "Thanks, I don't think you were the only one astonished to find out I was not illiterate, Link was pretty impressed too." There was a flush warming her high cheeks and she realized the shadows were not doing a good job of hiding her embarrassment over the complement. "You should really check out my next one, entitled, 'What to do when a man brings up your column and you start blushing like an idiot'. I think its one of my better," she added with a light laugh. 

                Gosmar chuckled as well, moonlight smoothing over his silken hair, and he retorted, while gazing at her with chocolate eyes, "Alright, its a deal, as long as you consider reworking the title. 'What to do when a man can't stop staring at you and thinks you're perfect' sounds so much better."

                The blonde smiled and bit her rose lip, the rouge unable to leave her face now. Conversations of other strolling couples drifted in and out as they passed and finally Zelda brought up, "So you're in the music industry right? What do you do?"

                The handsome pale skinned man said, "I'm a music studio technician. I work the buttons basically." They'd been set up by a mutual friend and so far it was going well, as of yet the 'match-maker' could still be counted as a **friend**.

                "Sounds interesting, buttons can get tricky, what with all the pushing and cramped fingers. I bet you've worked with a lot of famous artists huh?" Zelda replied lightly.

                Gosmar nodded and informed her, "I'm not really supposed to go around broadcasting our clients. I will say I had a pretty interesting session with a diva who insisted no one look her directly in the eyes and that her poodle drink only Lake Hylia bottled water."

                The blonde young woman stepped over a crack, her heels clicking against the cement; there was a pause and then a slight drift of laughter bubbled from her throat. Zelda shook her head to herself and sent a strand of straight blonde hair into her pale eyes. 

                The man looked to her and inquired curiously, a raven eyebrow arched, "What's so funny? I know I'm hilarious but not to **that **extent."

                A fresh wave of giggles overcame her and the woman replied, "Its just... Well I was recalling this time... Link and I went to this karaoke bar and he forced me up on stage... I sounded worse than a broken record. Thank the Goddesses Link went up later and sounded even worse than I did." 

                "Alright, that's it!" the man cried out suddenly.

She abruptly felt the man beside her halt and she stopped as well, turning to gaze at him in the lamplight. "What? What's wrong?" she asked with both concern and interest lacing her words.

Gosmar met her eyes in the moonlight's pallor glaze and his face was full of frustration and exasperation. He exclaimed, "All night you've been going on and on about this Link guy! It's been "Link this..." and "Link that...". I know so much about the guy I feel like I'm on a date with him!" 

Zelda took in his words and shook her head in protest. "No I haven't..." she began to argue. 

The man cocked his head to the side and sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets, "Zelda, you mentioned him five times just while we were walking."

Her tidal eyes went wide and she relinquished after a moment, "Ok so maybe I have. I'm sorry; I know it's not fair to you. I promise not to bring him up again."

Gosmar studied her cream face, half engulfed in shadow and the other in gilded honey light, before answering, "Ok." He started to walk towards her again and she saddled up to his gait, the two continuing their night walk.

They ambled for minutes in silence, the young woman's mind mulling over things, before Zelda piped up, "Its just... Link and I are really good friends and I have so many stories with him. We aren't... together or anything."

The man with the dark hair halted again and said firmly yet with understanding, "Alright I'm done. I'm going to go home, Zelda." He fluidly raised a hand out for any stray yellow cabs and searched his eyes over the streets. 

Zelda stood where she was and inquired, stunned, "You're honestly going?" Then she added, "I'm sorry, I'll stop for real this time."

A taxi screeched to a halt before them and Gosmar walked over to the curb, swinging the door open. He turned again to take in her, standing there in her dark body-hugging dress and her features questioning him. "Look Zelda, I **did** have a good time with you tonight. Call me when you're **really** single," he said with a regretful smile and then entered the cab, closing the door behind him. 

The Princess gaped at the diminished cab; how could Gosmar even think she and Link were an item? The idea was madness, madness I tell you! Zelda heaved a sigh and continued walking, alone this time, passing between smudges of lamppost light. Her apartment complex wasn't too far off and she arrived in a few minutes. 

A knotty female doorwoman greeted her with a grimace, her wrinkled sagging face permanently marked by a scowl. As she opened the door for Zelda she sniffed, "I didn't know **street walkers** were still allowed in the city." 

To this the Princess merely shot the grouchy old woman a glare and passed through the doors, she was in no mood for the usual tradition of insults tonight. She entered the elevator and with some contemplation pushed the button for the floor below her apartment. It rose up and then finally when the door dung open, Zelda walked over to Link's apartment and knocked despairingly on the door.       

She heard rustling and then the door slid open, revealing a disheveled Link. His sandy blonde hair was naturally tousled upon his head and his feet were bare, a pair of roughed up jeans and a plain white t-shirt completing the mused outfit. He glanced at the young woman before him, in her stunning, skin barring dress and melancholy pouted face, and inquired knowingly, "Why so glum? Was that doorwoman mean to you again?" 

Zelda was not sad enough to resist commenting, "Well yes but I've come to expect that, I've begun to think of her as our real life Oscar the Grouch but less fuzzy and with vodka breath." Then her pale eyes turned doleful and she added, "It was my blind date."

                The young man opened the door wider to allow the Princess entrance and full view of the messy bachelor's loft. The television was glowing and dismembered articles of clothing lay strewn about, a pizza box rested across the small table. "Really? What happened?" Link asked. 

                The ash blonde haired woman entered, not even reacting to the pitifully untidy room that was a familiar sight to her, and wriggled out of her knee high black boots, casting them aside on the floor. "I'd rather not discuss it..." she sighed as she did so. 

                Link's dark cerulean eyes softened as they tread over the recognizable ground of dates gone wrong and he said, "Yikes, that bad huh?" 

                Zelda nodded miserably and whined, "Let's just say I'm going to need some ice cream and sappy love movies stat."

                The young man padded over to his small, ill-equipped kitchen and swung the freezer door open, pulling out two pint cartons of ice cream. "I need fifty watts of Rocky Road. Come on, breath, Goddesses damn you!" he kidded and then started pumping the containers down as if using a hospital's defribulator, before making a high pitched noise and shrugging, "A flat line, well I guess you can't win 'em all." 

                The Princess merely rolled her eyes at her friend and caught the carton as he tossed it to her. She remarked, "Gee thanks. I'm dead and it's your fault. As far as doctors go, you suck." Then she extracted the TV remote from between the black couch cushions and flipped through the channels, collapsing down on the comfortable sofa. She paused from her surfing and exclaimed, "O hey, its **Sleepless In Seattle**! I love this movie!"

                Link approached from the kitchen and fell down beside her. "No, stop. The horror, the horror," he commented in a deadpan tone. 

                 The blonde woman snatched a spoon from his grip and said, while glancing at him from the corner of her eye, "Shut up. You like this movie." She pulled her naked creamy legs up into an Indian position and started digging into her cold treat. 

                The Hero of Time paused from devouring his ice cream to inform her, "No I like Rocky and all its sequels. I like blood, guts, stuff being blown up, etc. Unless Seattle is under attack by aliens or a bus is taken hostage with a hot Sandra Bullock at the wheel, I'm not interested."

                Zelda pursed her petal lips comically and sniffed, "But my heart is broken, I've lost my soul mate. The least you can do is let me watch my movie."

                "It was your first date with a guy you just met, I hardly think there were wedding bells. Now give me the remote," he replied and tried to take hold of the remote only to have the petite woman snatch it away.

                The Princess held the television remote close to her and proclaimed, "No way, you'll have to kill me first." 

                Link gave her a sneaky scheming smirk and said, "Not a bad idea..." With his free hand he started tickling her side closest to him and along her slip of a waist. 

                The young woman of course started laughing and tried swatting him away but both hands were occupied, one with the remote and her other with ice cream. She pulled herself as far away from him as possible and shrieked, "Ok I surrender, white flag!" His strong hands retracted from her skin and at once she wished they had not. She gave him the remote and he finally let up. Zelda sent him a mock infuriated glare and huffed, "You fight dirty."

                The young man with the disheveled dark blonde hair laughed at his squirming friend and joshed, "And that's not all I do dirty, baby." 

                Zelda rolled her pastel azure eyes again and snorted, "I'm sure, you geek. I've been scarred enough by your dirty laundry for one lifetime, let me tell you." The swollen pallor moon sent bands of creased light across the room and over her smooth, pale skin, flickering over her wide tidal eyes.

The dark golden haired man gave her a wounded look and sighed in feigned offense, "Jeeze, Zel, you know how to hit a guy right were it hurts." 

As she placed her ice cream down on the coffee table, she glanced up at the large television and remarked in general surprise, "Hey, you didn't change it." 

                Link tossed down his carton as well and the Princess placed her head on his strong broad shoulder for warmth, long wisps of straight flaxen hair spilling down his torso. He pulled a navy blanket over from the side of the couch and placed it on her, her body heat tingling against his skin. The iridescent glow of the television illuminated their cream faces and outside the night bustled by beneath a luminescent pale moon. "Nope, you were right," he remarked with a satisfied smile on his face, "I really do like this movie."

*

                Outside it was another bustling Hyrule day, however it was a quiet countryside morning within the walls of Old English. The tables were set neatly with creamy china plates and flower arrangements sat brimming from the centerpieces, the chairs were backed with yellow floral patterns. The atmosphere was a murmured hush even with the overcrowding of customers. 

                A beautiful crimson haired woman sat alone at a table by a large picture window, waiting anxiously. She was dressed in a red lace shell sleeveless top and a black knee length skirt, black pumps adorning her feet. She was staring off at the undulating tide of people and chewing a nail absentmindedly, strands of glossy hair cascading over her shoulders. Finally she noticed a little party of women making their way towards her table, looking not at all pleased, and the cream skinned woman cried out in her best attempt at cheeriness, "Hey, girls! I'm happy you could make it." 

                A petite blonde woman pulled out a chair and sat beside her friend. She was dressed in a faded denim vest top, revealing a slight fringe of sleek tummy, and low-slung pale indigo jeans with white pointy-heeled boots. Her long flaxen hair was pulled into a sideways ponytail and curled slightly at the ends, a jean fabric flower chocker finishing the ensemble at her swan-like neck. She gave Malon a sideways glare and commented mock grumpily, "Well considering the ten frantic messages you left on my answering machine at six o'clock this morning, I really had no choice." 

                Next up was a tall statuesque beauty with aglow bronzed skin, wearing a very small tan leather bomber jacket with a fitted plain white tee underneath and olive green cargo pants that skimmed her slender legs well. Her scarlet hair was pulled back into an untidy bun and she wore spiked black heels, giving the military garb a sexy tinge. "Remind me again why I had to maneuver the subway, be felt up by some old man wearing a trench that I just **know** he didn't have anything on underneath, and huff through seven blocks?" Nabooru questioned despairingly, plopping into a seat.

                Malon smiled sheepishly at them and relinquished sincerely, "Uh sorry. I know this place is out of the way..."

                The Princess shrugged and looked over the menu before her. "As long as they serve something resembling black caffeine in liquid form I'm all set," she said without shifting her icy gaze.

                The pale red head beamed blissfully and all her friends recognized the lovesick schoolgirl, dreamy haze clouding her chocolate eyes; Malon had the radiant reflection of a new man. "Thanks, you guys are the best. See, I met this guy a few days ago and I really feel this attraction to him..." she began to gush. 

                Ruto interjected with a small smirk, "He's hot." The Zora entered the conversation in typical Ruto fashion and slid into her chair. She was tightly encased in a black one-sleeve top and black slacks, a flimsy white scarf tied around her slender waist to serve as a belt. 

                Malon fumed slightly, exclaiming with a slight squeak, "Excuse me, my feelings are not that superficial, Ruto." She continued as if to prove a point, "He is kind, sweet, funny, and well... Yes he is handsome... And get this! He showed me how to pick out apples! It was so romantic... And almost sensual."   

                The blonde haired woman was still glancing over the menu as she proclaimed, with feigned indignant, "Fruit? Turned erotic? Is nothing held sacred anymore?"

                The Gerudo looked up at them with iridescent honey eyes to laugh and add irreverently, "Its Martha Stuart porn."

   
                Malon's cheeks flushed rouge and she mumbled, ever the nun of the group, "O please, you all have such perverse minds!" She shook off her embarrassment to go on with her praise of this newfound Mr. Right, "He didn't throw any lines at me either, it was purely genuine. He seems so perfect. Plus he is co owner to this restaurant."

                Ruto suddenly blurted boisterously, loud enough to gain several questioning looks from other patrons seated around them, "Wesing! Wow, you are right, he is hot!"

                The ranch tycoon's dark eyes swelled and she inquired urgently, "Please don't tell me you slept with him, Ruto. Please tell me this was the 1% of the male population yet left untouched by you."

                Zelda couldn't help but giggle slightly and comment dryly, she and Nabooru the only ones amused at this point, "She's the next black plague; the city's going to go on Ruto alert."

                The gorgeous Zora sniffed her pert nose and responded, mock crossly, "Well now you are just being rude, I have not slept with at least 3%, I have **some** standards." Then Ruto looked back to Malon and told her with a sigh, to the red head's relief, "But I did have the privilege to meet Wesing at a party, only he was married so I unfortunately was unable to sleep with him."

                Nabooru quipped one of her witty one-liners from the conversation sideline, snorting, "Well I'm glad to see at least marriage will bridal your hormones, like kryptonite to Superman."

                Ruto smiled arrogantly, a parting of dark wine lipstick coated lips, and informed them, "No, dear, Superman's an amateur compared to me, I'm invincible. It was merely a fluke; Wesing was his wife's puppy. Usually it doesn't matter but I couldn't pry them apart long enough to work my charm."

                Malon nodded her head, wavy strands of red hair falling askew against her brow, and began to spread the cloth napkin over her lap. "Well apparently that's not true any longer, they are divorced. He just threw that out there too, like rapid fire. 'Hey, how are you? Can I have your number? And o ya, I'm married.' **Blam!**" she said with a grimace of dejection. 

                Nabooru's lawyer, logical side kicked in and she said, "**Was** married, Malon. I don't see the big deal, it was in the past and with a society with a half and half divorce rate, it's hard to find men who **haven't** been." 

                "Yikes, I don't know," the Princess piped up cautiously, "He's damaged goods, he has all this baggage now and the luggage tag reads: Ex-wife. They will always be bonded, no matter how much bickering they do, for all you know he could have been the one served the divorce claims and never able to stop loving her."

                The red head said softly with hesitation, "He still wears his wedding band."

                "Oooo! Ouch!" The entire table grimaced in unison and cried out, shifting uncomfortably. 

                Malon's dark chestnut eyes grew wide and she blurted, "What!"

                Ruto was the one to field this and patted her friend's hand sympathetically. "Normally I'm all for the hook-up but this could get messy, Malon. Obviously he isn't over his wife, I wouldn't be surprised if he still keeps a picture of her by his bed," the Zora said. 

                The waiter came just then and the women ordered their food. (Not a moment too soon, Zelda was starting to wish for a coffee I.V. drip.) Then the well-dressed sunny man darted off to leave the women to their discussion. 

                Her eyes still following the diminishing waiter, Nabooru inquired with curiosity, "How'd your blind date go, Zel?"

                The blonde sighed and rested her head on a palm, drawing imaginary etchings along the tablecloth with her knife, her petal lips set in a frown. "Expectedly horrible. I thought it was going fine, he was a great date, had all the qualities I look for. He obviously didn't feel the same because he broke out this lame crap that I talked about Link the whole night. He thought I was cheating on Link with him!" she exclaimed with a snort. 

                This drew a rupture of laughter from the other three women and Zelda gawked at them with blinking aqua eyes and general confusion. "What's so funny? Did I miss an inside joke or something?" she asked. 

                The Zora stopped in her giggling to point out, with a shifting smile, "Because its you, dear! You're like the 'monogamous' girl; you have never even dabbled in having more than one man at a time."

                Zelda's mouth hung open and she burned with resentment. Then she turned to the laughing Gerudo and questioned, "O and like you have, Nabooru?"

                The tall beauty smiled over the lip of her coffee and responded, "I have. One time in college. I got caught of course."

                The Princess seemed a little set back by the new information but simply nodded her head and shifted her eyes to the demure Malon sitting across from her. "Alright ok, but Malon..." Zelda said and trailed off. 

                The ranch owner smiled sheepishly and relinquished, "Me too."

                "What!" Zelda cried and eyes gathered to her from the surrounding tables. She could not believe it: the nun, the very embodiment of chastity, had gotten more action than her! Suddenly up was down, black was white... and Zelda was a prude.  

                Malon grimaced and reasoned in her defense, "Just once! And technically we were on a break, and I was drunk! Off of one shot, but still drunk!"

                The Princess shook her head softly to herself and stared off at the flower arrangement at the center of their table. "O my Goddesses. I feel like I'm at a Player's luncheon. I must be the last monogamous person on the planet," she whined overly dramatic and added with a whimper, "Suddenly I feel so very alone."

                Ruto shrugged and took a bite of her fruit salad, sliding the green honey melon across her tongue. "Probably. Right now, in fact, I'm dating two men at once. Well actually, dating is too strong a word; one I'm using and the other I'm doing," she reported with a proud smile. 

                Zelda replied with mock exasperation, "Thank you, Doctor Sues." She continued with a slender raised gilded eyebrow, "You know you're going to get caught don't you? Like they say, crime never pays."

                The Zora rested back into her padded chair, her posture perfect and erect to accentuate her curves. "O yes it does and it's in the form of diamond necklaces and vacation homes. I'm going away with my Mr. Clueless tomorrow to spend a few days in his deluxe Death Mountain lodge. While he's showering me with caviar and expensive furs I'll be stealing off to the linen closet to screw his hot butler. My life could not be any more perfect," she sighed contently and pleasure drifted over her amber eyes.

                It was silent for a moment as the other women marveled at Ruto's total lack of human guilt before Nabooru ruptured the silence, remarking flatly, "People like you should burn in the Dark Realm."  

                The women turned on her with inquiring eyes and Malon leaned over to her slightly, resting her elbows on the table and asking with a compassionate gaze, "I'm sensing some hostility, Nab. The test didn't go well?"

                Nabooru scowled down at her bagel and grumbled, "Not at all. I found out he has quite a reputation as a player so I dropped him."

                Zelda watched her with knowing cobalt eyes and said with an underlying hint of suspicion, "Are you sure you had probable cause? Because in Nabooru World, cause for breakup can be he chewed his gum too loud." 

                The woman swirled cream cheese in perfect sharp strokes, her hand twisting the butter knife angrily, and wisps of scarlet hair fringed her narrow face. "No believe me, Nabooru World has permanently shut down its rides. Around his firm they call him **'Senor Suave'**," she huffed. 

                The table went silent and Zelda's face brimmed with shock and revulsion. "Senor Suave?" she asked. 

                Nabooru's knife moved more rapidly now and she babbled in a fury, "The worst part is I was starting to like him and I actually believed all his bull about really caring about me and being a genuine guy. Now I feel like such a fool." 

                There was a pause as the women took the time to recover and after a beat, Zelda repeated, "**Senor Suave**."

                The red head dropped her arm finally and nodded. "I know. Ghastly isn't it," she said with a heavy sigh.

                Malon chimed, the romantic optimist in her shining through, "Well maybe he's changed. Just because he has a history doesn't mean he's still that way, maybe he's grown."

                "Nice utopian idea there, Buddha," Ruto interjected with a roll of her amber eyes and a sniff, "But its just not the way the real world works. Look at us, how much have we really changed? You're still the goody-goody we all know and love. Nab's the cynic and everyone's favorite ball buster. Zel's our sarcastic middleman and the closest one of us to being normal. Me? I'm the woman equivalent of a guy, an admitted player and always will be. Things don't change, people don't change. The world keeps turning around us and we stand still, its just the way things work." 

                The flaxen haired young woman laughed and quipped, "Wow, you should release a book entitled "**A Not-So-Few Words From Ruto On Life's Crap".** I see a bestseller in your future."

                Ruto smiled and winked, replying evenly, "Thank you, a deal's in the works." Then she wiped the napkin across her lush lips one last time and threw it in a crumpled heap upon the table. "Again I'm leaving, I have to go and start packing. Only twenty four hours left to pack up all my clothes!"

                Nabooru teased with a chuckle, "By "clothes" you mean "thongs" don't you?"

                The short stature Zora stood and brushed her trousers. "Why of course! Bye ladies!" she exclaimed and waved before strutting out of the quiet restaurant. 

                Zelda rose as well, sighing, "I'm really getting sick of her running out on us and rubbing in the fact that she has an actual **life**. I have to go too, I need to pick up food for my cat. Wow, did that sound as pathetic as I think it did? Yup, it definitely did." 

                The Gerudo woman smiled grudgingly and zipped her jacket up as she stood. "I know, I need to leave now to go water my plants. And if I ever utter that phrase again, please shoot me," she relinquished wearily.

                The three women began to leave together after paying the bill and giving a generous tip, the glistening morning spilling in through the windows and the ajar door. "Malon!" a voice called behind the departing women and the red head turned on her heels to see a familiar male approaching from the kitchens. 

                Malon stood frozen with indecision and Nabooru had already stepped into the brisk Hyrule day. Zelda stood in the opened door and looked back at her friend. "You coming, Mal?" she asked and caught sight of Wesing, her pastel cerulean eyes wise with knowing. 

                The ranch girl looked from Zelda to Wesing and then back to the Princess. Then she shook her head, splaying crimson hair along her bare cream shoulders. "No I think I'll stay a little longer," she replied.

                A gentle wind blew in through the parted doors to rustle flaxen strands of Zelda's wispy curled hair and the young woman responded, "Alright, suit yourself." Then she turned and left Old English. 

                Wesing approached the red head and a sweet grin was on his handsome face. "Hey, I didn't think I'd see you again! I left you a message on your machine..." he began, completely naïve to the obvious. 

                Malon couldn't really understand why she was standing here, looking into the sun-dappled face of this gorgeous yet divorced man. Hadn't she come to her own agreement that he was simply off-limits and she couldn't get involved in anything as messy as a divorce? Yet she had dragged her friends across town and risked the subway, just for the chance to bump into him again. She had to admit there was a part of her that wanted to give this a chance, he was just so **right**. "I know. To tell you the truth, I didn't really have any plans to call you back or see you again," she responded softly, coming clean. 

                The smile flitted from his face and the wisps of short light brown hair fell across his forehead. His clear pale indigo eyes matched hers, showing secret wise flecks instead of the usual innocence. "Its my divorce isn't it?" he questioned decisively and his voice was heavy and low with regret. 

                The woman bit her mauve lip softly and matched his gaze. "No, it's more along the lines of that little gold band on your ring finger," she said, her chocolate eyes flickering to his hand.

                Wesing nodded in understanding and in his deep, mellow voice he began to tell her, "I can explain. I just got divorced a few months ago and this whole dating thing is new to me since I've been out of commission for a while. I'm not some lovesick divorced husband who still nurses a broken heart, really. It's just... I couldn't bring myself to removing this ring and being out there again." Malon nodded with compassion... and sadness, her head lowering. 

                "Until now."

                The red haired beauty looked up to see Wesing remove the wedding ring, the gilded sunlight echoing off the smooth surface. Malon was too shocked at his thoughtfulness and spluttered, shaking her head, "No. You really don't have to do that for me."   

                The quiet man slipped the band into his black trouser pocket and replied, "I want to. I have this beautiful, intelligent, funny girl right in front of me and I'd be stupid not to ask you out one night just because I'm afraid of putting myself out there again."

                A slight smile glided over the woman's face and she asked, "Are you asking me on a date, Wesing?"

                Wesing chuckled and nodded, replying humorously, "Well yes. I believe I am although frankly, if I were a woman, I wouldn't be that impressed by my attempts either." 

                Malon giggled and teased, "I think it's charming and I'd love to. Just a tip though now that you're back into dating, never use the term 'out of commission' again." 

The man nodded, mock seriously, and mused, "Wise advice. Can I call you later to discuss more tips?"

                The ranch tycoon flicked long lush eyelashes over her cheeks and replied, "That sounds good."

                They were inches apart, staring into each other's faces caught in the light of the morning sun and feeling each other's warm breath, when abruptly a cook poked his head from out of the flapping kitchen door. "The milks spoiled, Wesing. We can't use it for the scrambled eggs," he informed, scattered stains of food remnants on his white apron.   
  


                Wesing was again in the role of co owner and groaned in frustration. "Goddesses, that's the third time this month! What a waste," he exclaimed. Then he sighed, the only time so far Malon had seen him slightly agitated, "Just throw it all out and I'll tell the waiters to push the fruit salads... and the water. I can't believe it, this could make or break us." 

                "You know, I'm sure Lon Lon Ranch could supply you with milk for your restaurant if you'd like," Malon piped up to the rescue. 

                The man turned to her again with a skeptical expression. "Really? I didn't think you delivered to small businesses," he inquired. 

                The beauty smiled and shrugged it off humbly, remarking, "We don't normally but for you I can make an exception. I'll have a sample crate delivered tomorrow morning."

                Wesing grinned at her and replied gratefully, "Alright thank you. You've saved my business, not to mention my ass."

                Malon shifted gracefully around and commented over her shoulder, "Your welcome. Talk to you later, Wesing." She neared the door and held it open, splinters of fractured white light bounding over her glistening crimson tresses. She turned once more to look at Wesing and inquired breathlessly, "One more thing: what is on your bedside table?"

                The man cocked an eyebrow and gave her a questioning expression. "A lamp, a book, and my alarm clock. Why?"

                A smile reflected in her deep chocolate eyes and she said, "Its nothing. See you, Wesing." Then she turned and stepped out onto the sidewalk.

*

                The tall sloping peaks of Death Mountain loamed capped with frosted snow and the sky was awash with cobalt and grey. It was early morning at the mountains and the air still held remnants of a chilled breeze. The rustic mansion lay etched into the side of a mountain, surrounded by lush pine forests, its many windows glinting with sunlight. They had just arrived and their bags still had to be unpacked yet Ruto already sat in the writhing Jacuzzi, immersed in froth jets. She gazed past the large picture window showing all of the stark white mountain range and her long spindle fingers tapped against a glass champagne fluke, manicured nails strumming. She closed her eyes and sunk deeper into the heated waters, enjoying paradise.

                "So, my little sweet, I knew it wouldn't take you long to find the hot tub."

                Ruto opened her amber eyes to see a tall, fairly attractive man watching her from the doorway. His dark hair was neatly combed and her wore a designer suit and a gushing grin. "Well then I guess you know me too well. I'm getting predictable aren't I?" she questioned with hooded eyes. 

                Then the Zora placed her glass at the hot tub's edge and leaned foreword. With skilled hands, she worked her fingers under the rollicking water and within seconds had the skimpy golden bathing suit dripping in the air. She tossed the bikini to the ground and smiled, a slight luster of translucent gold lipstick glistening. "How's that for predictable?" she purred seductively. 

                The man walked closer to the Jacuzzi and sat on the edge, skimming a finger slightly below the surface. A film of cream bubbles concealed most of Ruto yet still there was enough to satisfy a hungry eye. He responded and used his other hand to stroke her smooth cheek, "I humbly stand corrected."

                Ruto leaned up as he moved his lips closer, murmuring with the hint of a giggle, "That's not all that's standing..."

                Suddenly their exchange was broken before they had the chance to kiss, the impressive outline of a well-built olive skinned man was standing at the doorway dressed in a uniform of black pants and a white shirt. "Sir, you have a phone call. I believe it is a Mr. Parker," he informed. 

                The rich man pulled back and sighed, "Damn. I should have never given that old fart my vacationing address." Then his gaze shifted back to the naked woman immersed in bubbles and he said, "I'll be right back, Ruto. Stay warm for me." He rose then and strided out.

                As soon as they were sure the man was out of earshot, the butler briskly walked towards her and embraced her in a deep kiss. Damp flesh met flesh and Ruto ran her spindly tapered fingers through his dark brown mane. When he brought his lips away from hers and placed it on her fevered shimmering neck, Ruto gasped, "Finally, we have some time alone."

                Fralis did not stop from his pursuit of her collarbone but groaned between kisses, "Come on, Ruto. I can't stand the sight of you without touching you." Finally he paused to take hold of her hand and pull her from the waters into a standing position. 

                "But he'll be back any minute! Rez might start to suspect..." she began with fear and arousal clouding her vision. Beads of opalescent water ran along the voluptuous contours of her perfect body.

                In one fluid motion, the well-defined young man lifted the Zora into his arms and she breathed sharply. Her long arms draped around his neck and water dampened his shirt, causing the fabric to cling to his muscles. "I don't care. I need you now," he said in a determined, take-charge tone.

                The woman smiled slightly and moaned, "All this sneaking around really turns me on, Fralis."

                The butler carried Ruto towards the closet lined with shelves brimming with towels and swung open the door. He placed her down on her feet, the door once again closing behind them, and pushed her against a wall. He again began to embrace her full lush lips with his own and sighed between kisses, "I know, when I see him touching you, kissing you, holding you, it makes me burn with passion. Ruto, you're a Goddess."

                Ruto fell into his touch, allowing him to overpower her senses. "You're so much better than Rez ever could be. I swear that man's the size of a pinky and acts like he's having seizures," she exclaimed in a husky voice. 

                  Suddenly the door opened and a large band of light fell over them. Rez stood in the doorway, a very puzzled and shocked expression on his pale face. "Ruto, Fralis! What's going on here!" he shouted.

                The Zora pushed herself away from the handsome butler and stammered, covering herself with a towel, "I... was looking for the towels to dry off with... and your butler was helping me when we got locked in. Thank the Goddesses you're here, Rez!"

                He gave her an edged glare and snapped, "Stop lying, I see you two are having an affair. I can't believe it." Then he snorted and added resentfully, "Well actually I can because you're just a whore."

                Ruto's eyes swelled and she asked skeptically, "Excuse me? Did you say I was a whore?"

                Rez scowled at her and responded, "If the sillicone-inhanced breasts fit." Then he continued, "Now get out of my house, both of you. Fralis, you're fired and Ruto, don't ever contact me again."

                A few minutes later Ruto and Fralis stood in the driveway to the lodge, the entrance door slammed in their faces. The cold wind bristled the woman's bare flesh, only her terry towel wrapped around her body, and all around them loamed pine trees. The woman pounded a fist against the door in one last effort at dignity and cried, "And my tits aren't fake!" Then she smacked her forehead against the solid door and the thump resounded.

                The muscular butler spoke up from behind her, where he had been watching, "Well maybe that was a good thing. Now we can be together, we don't need to hide it anymore. I can tell the whole world I love Ruto!" He spread his arms out and there was an ecstatic brimming smile on his chiseled face.

                Ruto sighed irately and spoke into the door, "O will you shut up."

                The blissful demeanor was replaced by befuddlement and nativity; Fralis asked, "I don't understand. Now that you're single don't you want to be with me? "

                The Zora woman finally lifted her head from the door and started to walk down the chilled driveway, a limo waiting not too far off to whisk her home. "When did you start thinking that? Between the mindless sex and more mindless sex?" she mocked cruelly. 

                His heavy brows knitted together and he exclaimed like a wounded puppy dog, "But... I thought we had a connection!"

                Ruto did her best to walk briskly, the icy pavement numbing the soles of her feet. "Ya we both were horny," she snorted and then turned around, walking backwards now, facing him. "And well, don't take this personally, but you're just hired help," she stated matter-of-factly and he gawked at her. Then she nodded and finished, "O wow, actually, take that personally. Very personally." The woman turned again and headed into the limo, slamming the door behind her. On the trip home she vowed that her extent of 'player'-dom was officially over. 

*

                The rain was already beginning to tumble from a dark undulating sky, slapping the pavement and causing a slick of puddles to smatter all along the sidewalk and curb. It brought the city to a paused halt, everyone was gathered under establishment doorways to stay dry or had taken shelter somewhere else - everyone for that matter but Nabooru. The stubborn Gerudo now made her best attempt to run in a knee length black skirt and jacket suit, piped with brown leather trimming. Tiny black-heeled shoes completed the look and kept her wobbling along, her long scarlet hair swept up into a high neat ponytail. The umbrella offered scarce protection from the slanted dampness and her long sinewy golden legs were soon glistening with rain. Suddenly a strong gust swept up from the subway vent and dragged away the umbrella from her grasp, sending it tumbling down the road. Nabooru watched after it with terror and shock when suddenly a taxi sped by, splashing up a spray of murky rainwater.

                The woman looked down to see a patch of dark seeping all along the front of her skirt and on her jacket. The cab stopped near her and the Gerudo was beyond heated. She flung open the side door and began to snap in a loud voice, "Look, this has been one of the longest fucking days of my life. Not only do my co-board members overlook my contributions because they are all right wing, conservative pigs, who think I should be at home 'baking cookies', but then my alarm went off late this morning so I was an hour tardy for a big meeting, which just proves the old fart bags right. Then at lunch a button pops off of my new jacket and I know by whining it makes me look like even more of a priss but I don't give a crap, I really liked this jacket! And now some asshole in a taxi tells the cabbie to 'speed up' to get his jollies from soaking me and you'll have to excuse me if I'm not in a Ms. Sunshine mood, but who exactly made you king of the fucking universe? Fuck you!" Alright, so she was venting, but it had been a hard day, well really a hard week, and she had a partial right to. Not to mention the hard breakup she had just suffered but that was too painful to screech for the entire neighborhood to hear. There had also been a record number of 'F' bombs dropped in her long-winded speech as well. 

                The male had until then been hidden partially by his black woolen trench and her veil of anger that clouded her eyes. Yet the roguish, patronizing voice was instantly recognizable, "Good to see you too, Nabooru." 

                The smirking, thoroughly amused man began to register with her and the statuesque beauty exclaimed, "Ganondorf!" Of course it would be him, fucking off course. He must have known she would be running home in the rain because she was too stubborn to take a taxi and now he wanted to be the hero or something and save her from drowning. 

                The lawyer dressed impeccably in a deep blue suit grinned charmingly at her and responded, "Who else would it be? After all, I have quit a good record for ruining your day."

                Nabooru narrowed her light brown eyes, awash in rage, and she huffed in a barely concealed anger, "And that's not the only record you have apparently. I meant what I said, Ganon: fuck you. Now go away." The woman turned and began to march down the sidewalk, ran splattering against her skin and her hands tightened into determined fists by her side.

                Ganon must have given the taxi driver orders to follow her because the bright yellow car continued to roll by her side, the door gaping open, inviting her with comforting heat. "I'm not giving up. I'll follow you all over Hyrule if I have to," the man called after her, not yet getting the hint.

                The woman rolled her eyes and exclaimed, throwing her hands up, "What exactly about my angry march do you not get?" Then she shifted her gaze around, seeing the dwellers of door stoops and passer-bys smart enough to carry an umbrella staring at them as if they were from another planet. Nabooru could not prevent the rouge from spreading over her high cheeks as she muttered, "You look stupid, people are staring at you." Normally she didn't care what others thought but now she was painfully aware of how foolish they must appear.

                Ganondorf leaned foreword with a cheeky smile and responded brazenly, "At me? I'm not the one walking in the rain and getting soaked in the process."

                Nabooru stopped and realizing the logic in his words, sighed and slid into the cab, closing the door behind her. Her skirt and jacket were drenched and hugged every curve of her long slender body; her skin glittered wetly. She brushed back strands of clinging crimson hair from her brow and commanded, "Fine but just take me home."

                The man told the cab driver where to go and then said to her sincerely, "I promise that's it, on my word."

                The red head could not resist the urge to snort and quip resentfully, "Ha! I think you've proved how much that's worth." She took off her jacket and placed it folded between them, all she had on underneath was a sheer tan top that went straight across her shoulders and held tight to her torso with a slight ruching at the sides. 

                Ganondorf met her stare and relinquished finally, "Alright Nabooru, I'll level with you. I use to be like that, what those women said was true. **Was**. But I've changed, Nab, I'm not that same guy I use to be."

                Nabooru could have died with laughter or tears just then; did he actually believe that would work on her? She gave herself over to spiteful laughter as she questioned mockingly, gazing absentmindedly out the window and scattering of plastered rain water, "O I'm sure. And just what exactly brought you to this enlightenment huh?"

                He hadn't taken his eyes off her and she could feel him hesitate for a moment before replying simply, "You."

                The woman whirled to glare at him; hurt, anger, and grief all mixed in her weary, glistening face. There was also something dampening in the corners of her eyes, something he'd been unprepared for - tears. She shouted now, her voice ragged and tired, "O Goddesses, will you just be up front with me, Ganon! Just for once in your life."

                Ganon replied persistently, yelling slightly, "I am! Nabooru, you have to believe me. Until I started dating you, or whatever you want to call it, I was just this young, terrified guy. I had flings, sure, but it was because I didn't want to get close. I'd move from one woman to another because I got bored, because I wanted change, because who knows why, just another stupid reason that I could come up with! But now..." He met her gaze, his voice growing to just barely above a whisper, "But now there's you. You make me laugh, you challenge me, you're just... like a breath of fresh air. You give me a reason to get up in the morning, Nab."

                Nabooru shook her head, strands of damp scarlet hair falling into her face, and she stated skeptically, the sinking despair evident in her quivering tone, "You're going to get scared again, Ganon, and what then? You're just going to leave me or cheat on me. I don't need anymore of this; I've had my fair share of heart break. I've had enough."

                Ganon was undaunted; he went on to tell her, "No I won't because with you its different, and I know that sounds like a line but well damn it, that's how I feel! When you stayed away from me I was miserable... And that scares me. I've never felt this way, Nabooru. I've never felt like this; like I've found the girl that's **it** for me." She knew she should have been able to detect the false lies and pretenses, the hidden deceit, but all Nabooru could see was the gleam of slight terror and needing in his deep pitchless eyes. 

                The strong woman - the female warrior – felt broken. Maybe it was the whole ruin of the day, maybe it was that missing jacket button, maybe it was the ache from her last real breakup three years ago, or maybe the clearly obvious prospect of being wounded again. Whatever it was, tears would not be prevented from collapsing down her taut bronzed sloping cheeks, mingling with drips of rainwater. She didn't want to be crushed again yet she was so tired of being alone. "You're going to hurt me, Ganon..." she breathed, looking down into her lap. 

                He took her face in his strong large hands, brushing away a tear with his thumb, and felt so responsible. Droplets of moisture still clung to her eyelashes, framing her amber eyes in iridescent glass beads. He never wanted to make her feel this way again and he vowed it silently to himself. He said softly to her, "No I won't, Nab, I promise."

*

                Malon strolled into Old English, closing her umbrella and pushing aside the glass door. A pleated plaid skirt accentuated with dark brown leather belt straps revealed delicate cream thighs to her brown mid-shin riding boots, a thin brown knit turtleneck sweater adorning her torso. Her just-past-the-shoulder's length scarlet hair was pulled back into a neat low ponytail and she stepped close to the hostess's platform, waiting for Wesing.

                It did not take long for the tall handsome man to walk briskly out of the kitchen and greet her with a sweet grin. "Hello Malon, you look even prettier than when we met if that's possible," he flattered with a shy flicker of his pastel cerulean eyes, causing a smile to pass over her lips. "Sorry for the wait. I'll be ready in a minute if that's ok with you," he said apologetically.

                She nodded and responded, "Sure, no problem."

                It was a few more minutes of standing there in the lounge area before Wesing finally emerged again from the kitchens and took his black jacket off a coat rack, sliding it over his thin gray sweater. He told her as he did so, "Alright, all set." 

                Just as they were about to leave, Malon piped up, "O by the way, what did you think of our milk? Would you like to pick up a years offer?"

                Wesing paused and turned to her with a look of puzzlement washing over his face, his brow knitted together. "You didn't send any. At least, we didn't get it," he informed her with confusion. 

                The red haired woman shook her head and responded, "No I'm sure of it. I did this morning, a full crate."

                A woman's snooty high-pitched voice sniffed airily, "O that was yours?" Malon gazed up towards the kitchen area to see a tall, pale skinned woman standing before the door. She had chin length flaxen hair chopped into an uneven bob and delicate china skin; she was wearing a black business suit over her slender form and carrying a briefcase. 

                The short statured red head questioned, "Who are you?" 

                The sharp-featured beauty's icy gaze shifted from Malon to Wesing and back again critically. "He didn't tell you about me? Typical. I'm Alinah, his wife..." she began with a nasally, squeaky voice. 

                "**Ex**-wife. She's also co owner to Old English," Wesing interjected, staring only at Malon and attempting to reconcile the situation. Then his pale blue eyes turned to match the slate gray irises of his ex-wife and he asked, "Did you say you saw the Lon Lon milk shipment?"

                Alinah crossed her rigid spindle arms across her chest; it suddenly made sense that they once were able to own a restaurant together but not make a marriage work, Alinah was obviously very business-like and calculated while Wesing was free-flowing and mellow. The shorthaired woman spat in revulsion, "Yes well if you really could call that **milk**. It was too heavy and half the bottles were spoiled."

                Malon chimed in, her face mixed between shock and indignant, "Excuse me? We had it freshly made and sent over, there is no possible way it could have been bad."  

                The blonde glared down at Malon with outrage and seethed, "Are you calling me a liar? It was trash so we put it out by the trash!"

                The small crimson haired young woman narrowed her eyes and placed a hand on her hip, her family's business was something very personal to her and she was ready to defend it if need be. Wesing countered with a shout, making both women's eyes dart to him, "You did what! Alinah, you should have talked it over with me first, we do run this place together." The man turned towards a young waiter darting to the kitchen and exclaimed, "Gram, go get that crate from out back." The young man ran off to get the milk box from the back door. 

                "So now I can't make any decisions myself? Should I ask you about how to fold the napkins too? Or better yet, what dish liquid to use?" she said and rolled her storm eyes.

                The typically reserved man was fuming, he barked, "Don't play dumb with me, Alinah! Goddesses, this is so like you!"

                Alinah gritted her teeth and clasped her hands about her chest. "Like me? What's that supposed to mean, Mr. Sensitive? Have I hurt your feelings again? Would you like to go have a good cry now?" she spat cruelly.

                Wesing exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration, "You twist everything I say around until its one big mess, you always have."

                The statuesque blonde shrieked, by now very much causing a scene, "O please, you're such a bastard! Just take responsibility for your actions instead of coping out for once in your life, Wes. You didn't even try to work anything out; you just threw in the towel because it was more convenient for you." There was a fury glistening in her faint gray eyes and it was apparent this had become about more than just missing milk.

                "Like the Dark Realm it was convenient! I didn't ask for a divorce lightly, Alinah, we had been together for five years and I felt like I was married to a stranger. We didn't talk anymore..." the man cried out. Suddenly this had turned for a business disagreement to a full on war.

                Alinah rolled her eyes and interjected icily, "Ya blah blah. I know the deal, Wes. "We don't communicate anymore. We don't connect." You were always whining, but we'd just started this business together, obviously we were going to see less of each other. You were so clingy, that's definitely one thing I don't miss, you were worse than a friggin chick." She spat the last words staring straight at him, hoping to watch the anger and hurt flash in his pale eyes.

                Wesing's face flushed in temper, a quaking wave in a calm sea, and he glared tautly at his ex-wife. "That's better than being a cold hearted bitch," he growled in an obvious attempt to exact pain. 

                The woman's mouth gaped open and she seethed, "I can't believe you!" By now the waiter had deposited the crate on the hostess's podium, so Alinah snaked a hand out and reached for a bottle of the Lon Lon Milk in question. 

                Malon, seeing where this was going, stepped before Wesing, her hands raised. "Ok don't you think this has gone on enough? Let's..." she began meekly. 

                But before she could finish, Alinah had hurled the contents of the glass bottle through the air and the milk landed smack dab on Malon. The small red head gasped as the cold liquid soaked into her knit top and her wool skirt, running in sticky streams down her legs to pool in her boots. Her chocolate eyes were swollen to wide copper discs and she was almost hyperventilating.

                The man with sandy brown hair grabbed a napkin lying on the hostess's booth and offered it her. He said sympathetically, "Malon, are you alright? Here, take this napkin." As the woman began to sop milk from her face and chest, Wesing glanced over at Alinah and snapped, "Alinah, this is all your fault."

                Alinah hissed back, her flaxen chin length bob brushing her inflamed cheeks, "My fault? There you go again, never able to take responsibility..."

                Finally the woman in the middle of this domestic Hell shouted, hands raised as if to break up a fight, "Alright, enough! Will you two act like mature adults for once?" Now that she had the feuding couple's attention, Malon sighed, "I don't know what's going on here and I frankly don't want to. Whatever you two are dealing with, leave me out of it. Wesing, you're a nice guy but I can't handle dating a divorcee. So do me a favor and don't call." Then the small framed beauty threw down the napkin and stormed out, not even bothering to open her umbrella in hopes the rain water might wash away some of the white sticky liquid.

*

                A slender Zelda stood in front of her friend's door, her arms held behind her back and a smile on her face. She was adorned in an off-the-shoulders pink channel sweater and hip hugging white pants. Her pale flaxen hair tumbled over her shoulders and back; delicate petal ballet flats adorned her feet. "Knock knock," the Princess called cheerily. 

                A moment slipped by as rustling could be heard from the other side of the door and then finally it slid open a slit. Link stood on the other side, dressed better than usual in black slacks and a white button down shirt, untucked. His tousled hair was slightly neater than typical Link fashion and the grin that Zelda expected to see upon recognition of her was non-existent. Instead his deep aqua eyes filled with slight... disappointment. "Zelda... Hey I wasn't expecting you," he said, trying to conceal his lack of happiness.

                The young woman narrowed her eyes a little and quipped, the small smile still on her flush lips, "Um well sorry. I didn't know this was RSVP."

                Link attempted a lackluster grin and commented, stumbling for words, "Its just... I'm kinda busy at the moment."

                The blonde beamed and finally moved her arms, revealing what she had clasped hidden in her hands. "Well get un-busy my friend! Because I have for you three, count 'em, three Sandra Bullock movies and a pint of Rocky Road with your name all over it," she chortled goofily. 

                The young man chuckled faintly and replied, "Zel, that's great..." Then matching her gaze he went on, "But really, I'm busy..."

                Suddenly a woman's voice called from within Link's apartment, "Honey? Whose there?"

                Zelda felt her heart sink like a weight and she knew her face was uncovering too much but she couldn't help it. Her pale eyes went wide and the smile died on her lips, she almost dropped everything in her hands. She felt so absolutely pathetic just then. 

                Link moved his head sideways and called to his awaiting date, "A friend." Then he looked back at Zelda with an apologetic smile. 

                The petite blonde nodded her head and commented almost to herself, trying to mask the injury in her voice, "Ooo. Busy-busy, I get it."

                The young man with the dirty blonde hair leaned a little on the doorframe and replied, "Yea, its our fourth date. But we'll hang another time alright."

                Zelda looked down at the ground, silently smacking herself for the wrenching feeling in her gut. _Why do I care so much? Why! He's happy so I should be too. Maybe that guy was right; maybe I have more feelings for Link than I'd like to admit... _"Ya sure. Another time," she replied.

                Link gazed into her ashen face and questioned with worried eyes, "Are you alright, Zel? You look a little... off. If something's the matter I can ask her to leave and we can talk..."

                The Princess gulped down her regret and forced out a smile, glancing at Link to reassure him. "No, no I'm fine. Now go, don't keep her waiting. Take these with you; maybe you'll get lucky," she said and held out the movies.

                The young man shook his head and responded, "No, Saphia isn't a Sandra Bullock fan. She says she's not a serious actress."

                Zelda bit her lip and retracted the movies, as she said, "O alright..."

                Link began to say, "Ok." He stood in the doorway, caught in indecision, almost as if he didn't want to close the door. _Why not? I have my girlfriend in there waiting, ready to sleep the night, and here I am, unable to let Zelda go. I'm an idiot. _Finally he forced out, "Well bye then," and shut the door gradually.

                The cold lamplight grew smaller and smaller as it cut against Zelda's fair skin until it finally disappeared and the young woman stood in the hall alone. "Ya bye," she responded softly.

*

**"The Game Of Love"**  
**(Santana feat. Michelle Branch)**  
  
Tell me just what you want me to be  
One kiss and boom you're the only one for me  
So please tell me why don't you come around no more  
Cause right now I'm crying outside the door of your candy store  
  
_[Chorus:]_  
It just takes a little bit of this  
A little bit of that  
It started with a kiss  
Now we're up to bat  
A little bit of laughs  
A little bit of pain  
I'm telling you, my babe  
It's all in the game of love  
  
This, whatever you make it to be  
Sunshine set on this cold lonely sea  
So please baby try and use me for what I'm good for  
It ain't sayin' goodbye that's knocking down the door of your candy store  
  
_[Chorus]_  
It's all in this game of love  
You roll me  
Control me  
Console me  
Please hold me  
You guide me  
Divide me  
Into what...  
  
_[Guitar solo]_  
Make me feel good, yeah  
  
So please tell me why don't you come around no more  
Cause right now I'm dying outside the door of your loving store  
  
_[Repeat Chorus]_  
  
It's all in this game of love  
It's all in the game of love  
Yeah, in the game of love  
  
Roll me  
Control me  
Please hold me  
(make me feel good, yeah)

*

**Author's Note:**

Well, well, well, Zel, how do you like them apples? Hehe. Before Link was on the receiving end of heartache and now its Zelda's turn. (Life's a bitch!) Still there was only a tad bit of Z/L in this one; I want to have more in the next chappie. A lot of soaked clothing too, or none at all in Ruto's case, but o well, I like to write with themes. ^_^ Anyway expect more drama from the next episode. 

Has Zelda discovered feelings for Link? And if so, will she do something about them or leave it at status quo? Is Ganon sincere about his love for Nabooru or is she just another notch in his belt loop? Will Malon find a nice guy for once? Will Ruto keep her clothes on for an entire episode? All this and more in the next addition of **The Singles**! 


	5. Episode Five: Critical Condition

**Author's Note: **This fanfic is of course inspired by "Sex And The City" but it still is original in the sense that I am not copying any plot lines from the show and that this is the only story of its kind in the Zelda section of fanfic.net (True? I hope so...). Also you don't have to watch the show to read this fic. 

This is rated R and intended for only mature readers. Though I think I won't go into as much... how shall I say, bedroom affairs as the show does ("Sex And The City" concentrates on the girls' sex lives, my fic will focus on the dating aspect more), I will no doubt be mentioning it. Plus be prepared for some foul language! Yesa! 

This is somewhat like an alternate universe fic because Ganon was never sent to the Sacred Realm (Hey I had to find some way to hook him and Nabby up didn't I?). Also they have televisions, phones, laundry mats, etc. Possible relationships are Z/L and N/G. 

So sit back ~ relax ~ and enjoy the show! (Shhh! No talking!)

*

The Singles 

By: Jasmine

*

  


Critics may just be the low of the low. Yup, right under soap scum but just above deep-sea algae. We all know people like this, who live to judge, and if you don't and you start to criticize my column for even suggesting it, then you my friend **are** one. They are the people who get off by talking about people to others, or even for the most bold and brash (And many mother-in-laws) right to your face. There are chronic critics and there are those that play the part only sometimes. You may be known for giving your friends the fashion-don't reports from the party you went to last night or going into great detail to your doorman about just how hideous your boyfriend's ex's new hair cut is. Even so, this makes you a part-time critic, not so low as soap scum but just as bad as toe jam. Perhaps if one remembered just how bad they felt when the talking got back to them and so-and-so said their hips looked ham-like in a particular outfit, then they wouldn't. After all, just like one of the wisest Eastern Philosophers, Yashama Osina who runs the curry stand down my block, once said, "Everything comes around again."   

                A critic in a relationship is like your relationship with your vale, a lot of nagging and complete un-trust. They are always worried about what's going to go wrong, preparing for that day when they finally have to say, "Look, I think we should just be friends..." They obsess over every little detail, judging things their partner does. Or maybe you've been cheated on so many times in the past that every action sends up a red flag to break up. In some ways its almost natural, but that doesn't make it right and that doesn't increase the odds that you'll end up happy. Maybe a few less bruises and bumps but not happy. 

                There are the critics and the relationship critics, but I think there is one worse. They constantly put you down, make you feel unsure, and sabotage you. Who, you are all asking? Well, its **you**. Dun dun dun. You can be your own hindrance, your own worst enemy. From the dress that hugs every wrong curve to that job position you just know you'll never get. We can be so hard on ourselves and never think we're good enough. In the end, it's good just to unplug your brain for a while and let it reboot. Don't be so judgmental is my new mantra, and I think it should be yours too. Unless you're a Goddess, which in that case I would like to know when I'm going to get that shiny red bicycle I asked for when I was five? Letting yourself be happy isn't such a bad thing as we seem to think it is.  

  


~ Princess Zelda

*

**"Episode Five: ****Critical Condition****"**

*

                The sun glimmered over the peaks of the tall gray buildings scratching at the cold morning horizon. People bustled along the streets and the strum of traffic has already begun its methodical percussion. The door of Zelda's apartment slid open and a slit of warm speckled light fell over the young woman's face. The petite blonde stumbled down the steps leading to her building, her pallid blue eyes still hooded and hazed with sleep. Her long flaxen hair was rumpled and she wore her pajamas that consist of pale yellow flimsy gown fringed with white lace, long spindle legs stretching with disregard. Zelda's feet were snuggled in yellow fuzzy slippers; she yawned absentmindedly. 

                People passed without giving a second glance to the sleep-roused woman, it was a common occurrence in the city since the papers were not delivered straight to the doors of those in apartments. It was a daily ritual, the nightgown adorned citizens stepping out to the nearest stand to get their newspapers, blinking into the sun like a race of mole people. Zelda saddled up to her regular vendor, smiling partially, light drifting in shafts over her pale skin. "I'll take a Hylian Times and a Celeb Watch. Can you put the Celeb Watch in the Hylian Times? I like to give the illusion of intelligence even if I just buy the Times for the funnies. Thanks," she made her usual small talk with the man behind the stand. 

                A woman walked over and Zelda dully caught notice of her in the corner of her eyes. She had medium length dark silky hair that spilled over her shoulders and a full swelling chest, her body an attractive hourglass shape. She was wearing a black knee length dress tied at the waist and black high heels, chandelier earrings dangling from the sides of her head and catching flecks of the light. Zelda became slightly aware that this woman was studying her for a long moment over the pages of her glamour magazine before she finally chirped with hesitation, "O wow, you're Zelda! I mean... the Princess." 

                The blonde looked over at the woman and smiled warmly, finding her timid behavior adorable. Zelda cracked to break the awkwardness, "That would be me. Unless the Princess is being hunted by Hyrule's Most Wanted for some reason, then I'm not her. Not at all."      

                Up close, Zelda silently admired the woman's exotic beauty. Her skin was a rich tan color and her cheekbones were perfect structures formed high on her narrow face. She had almond shaped, chocolate eyes with sweeping long eyelashes and a lush full mouth, accented by red lipstick. She must have been a mix of Gerudo and Hylian, her lofty graceful form proof of it. The young woman bubbled with laughter slightly and said, "You're really just like you are in your column."

                The Princess felt like such a mess compared to the well-put-together woman. She arched a gilded eyebrow and questioned, "Is that a good thing?"

                Her dark eyes glistened with adoration and the woman gushed, "Very good! I love your advice column; it's so insightful and funny. It really speaks to me, I can relate to everything you talk about." 

                Zelda flushed faintly. She couldn't believe she had actual groupies! It was strange, even when she was Princess, people hardly recognized her because she was not a very public figure yet, and she wasn't ready to be. Back then she was still too young and immature to play out her life for the world to see. She responded humbly, "Thank you. Sorry if I'm not acting very 'role model' like but its seven in the morning and I've yet to have my coffee. What's your name?"

                The woman still hadn't snapped out of her star-struck daze when she said, "Saphia."

                The Princess with bed head almost fell down from shock, her smile dying from her petal pink lips. Her pale sapphire eyes brimmed wide and she could feel her stomach lurching. "You're **Link's** Saphia," she spluttered. 

                Saphia glowed radiantly and giggled, "Well, I guess that's my official title. It does have a ring."

                Zelda suddenly became very self-conscious, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear and pulling at the hem of her nightgown that was riding up her slender thighs. When she planned to meet Link's new flame, she had hoped it would be decked out in designer clothes and flashing a million dollar smile, not before she had even brushed her teeth. The young woman forced out, "Well its nice to meet you. I'm Link's..."

                 "...His friend. I know, I've heard so much about you, Princess," the woman with the raven locks interrupted.

                The pale haired woman was too shocked to speak. 'So this is Link's girlfriend. Damn it, she's beautiful. And she's really nice and not to mention, has good style. It's settled, I have to kill her.' 

                It was fortunate Link emerged from the building entrance just then or else the awkward silence might have stretched on. The handsome hero was adorned in loose, slouching jeans and a brown belt. He wore his sandals and a thin wool mocha sweater over a white button down shirt. His hair was tousled and gleaming from a shower, his dark aqua eyes glittering with joyful recognition of his girlfriend. "Saphia, ready to go?" he inquired before noticing Zelda. Grinning, he added in her direction, "Well morning, sunshine. I take it you just woke up."

                Zelda finally snapped from her astonishment and smiled faintly at Link. "No actually I always walk around the city in my pjs. I'm becoming a tourist attraction - 'the nightie girl'. They take pictures and everything," she teased matter-of-factly, not feeling as self-conscious around him. He never made her feel doubt, he always looked at her as of she were beautiful, and maybe that was the problem...     

                Link laughed and stopped before the two women, gazing down at the Princess. He said sincerely, "Hey, sorry again for last night. If I had known you were coming over I would have planned a little better, I didn't mean to just ditch you like that."

                The young woman rolled her icy eyes and snorted, "Shut up already about that, I told you it was no big deal. Not that I don't like you groveling but its my fault, I should have called first." Zelda had in fact been a little hurt last night but she wasn't about to admit that, that might give her feelings away. 

                The blonde man shrugged and said with doubt, matching her gaze to try to read her, "If you're sure..." Then realizing the tall brunette by his side, he abruptly continued, "O yea, Zelda this is Saphia, Saphia this is Zelda."

                The two women looked to each other and responded in unison, "We've met."

                Link cocked an eyebrow and looked from each of their faces. "You have? Since when?" he questioned.

                Zelda smiled up at him and joked good-naturedly, "Just now. We've already gone into deep detail about just how terrifying your sock draw is and the basics of your miserable cooking."

                Saphia went on, her dark eyes meeting his, "And we were just about to discuss your weird obsession with walking around your apartment half naked."

                The young man chuckled and trumpeted in mock indignant, "O really! You weren't complaining that much this morning..." Then Link reached his hands out to circle his girlfriend's narrow waist and pull her into him. She squealed with peels of laughter, her deep crimson lips parting to show rows of brilliant teeth and her little pert nose crinkling. Link tickled her and kissed her velvet neck at the same time, her hair shivering in raven turrets along her spine. 

Zelda watched on, feeling like an intruder on their exchange. 'That should be me. He use to tickle me like that, he use to hold me. I can imagine myself as Saphia and that's strange because its **not** strange, it makes sense to me. I can see me with Link.' She couldn't believe what she was thinking about her friend but all the same she was, she could feel her heart fluttering with uncertainty. She wanted to deny the feelings but they were there, creeping up from the bottoms of her being.

The sandy haired man suddenly leaned over and brought his lips to his girlfriends, kissing her deeply. She in turn moaned against his lip and ran a manicured hand through his mane of dismantled locks. Zelda felt her body tense and the bile rising in her throat. 'I want to hurl or run away. I'll pick the latter.' Quickly she snapped, "Well it was nice seeing you both."

The pair parted their lips and gazed over at her, Saphia blushed slightly and broke from Link's grasp. The young man wiped remnants of red lipstick from his mouth with the back of his hand and questioned, "You want to go grab some breakfast with us, Zel?"

Zelda forced out a slight smile and half-heartedly remarked, "I better not. You know, the whole 'no pants' thing and all."

Link chuckled to himself and said, "O yea. Alright well catch you later then."

The petite blonde nodded her head and then sharply turned on her heels. She practically made a mad dash up the steps of her building, almost loosing her furry slippers in the process. She could see the door there and all she wanted to be was through it, up the stairs, in her apartment, far away from the smiling laughing couple. 

The doorwoman scowled at Zelda as she opened the door for her, her old body lavished in wrinkles and her lips heavy with a grimace. The bright red uniform detailed with gold threads looked ridiculous on the grumpy lady. She glared at the Princess and questioned venomously, "That's the guy you like's girlfriend? Boy, do you feel like an **idiot **now, unless pjs are coming back in style."

Zelda narrowed her pale eyes and exclaimed, "I do not like him! And don't you have some place to be? Like under some little kid's bed or in their closet?" Then the Princess pushed past her through the door.

The jaded, bitter woman shrugged and shot back after her, "If smart-aleck remarks help you through the pain, lady."

The blonde took the elevator up to her floor and couldn't get into her apartment fast enough. Slamming the door shut she went to her couch and collapsed on it, a small crinkled ball with her eyes squeezed shut. She was disgusted with herself, all this time Link was right there in front her, all these perfect little moments when she could have made her feelings known. Now she's just begun to realize and it's too late. 

A coffee pot dung in the distance and Zelda remembered the coffee she'd put on before she went out. With the promise of caffeine, the young woman untangled herself and stood from her white couch, the leather cushions sighing. She plodded to the kitchen and poured a mug of coffee before heading over to her dining area table. Sitting, she decided the newspaper would make her forget all her worries. She began to sift through the articles and skipped over the wedding announcements. When she got to her favorite column however her mouth gaped open and she almost fell from her chair. The title read: '**Princess of Hearts - A Dating Column By Royalty?**' and below it was a picture of Zelda, one of the only photo shoots she'd ever done in her life, complete with the whole wind-blown, fan affect. "O my Goddesses, o my Goddesses," she whispered in disbelief, a hand reflexively reaching up to cover her trembling lips.

Zelda picked up the cordless phone by her and eagerly dialed a number. Soon she was put directly through and the young woman blurted into the receiver, "O my Goddesses!" 

Nabooru responded with puzzlement and amusement from across the line, recognizing Zelda's voice, "Um ok... I think you have the wrong number; the Light Realm is at another extension." The Gerudo woman was at work, sitting behind her desk and figuring out the semantics for a new bill. She was dressed in a black suit over a white button down shirt, her hair pulled back in a neat ponytail. 

The Princess was staring at the article, her eyes wide. "Page five of the Hyrule Time's entertainment section, there is a review about me! I have a review! Someone actually reviewed **me**!" she chortled in skepticism and joy. 

The scarlet haired Gerudo was holding the phone against her shoulder and she began to search out the Times from somewhere in her crammed suitcase. "I think they generally critique your **column**, not you," she snorted.

Zelda sighed with happiness and murmured dreamily, "Even you can't spoil my good mood. It's my first real review, I feel like such a... journalist."

Nabooru finally found the newspaper and flipped the pages, saying as she did so, "Well maybe that's because you are a journalist... Hmmm I haven't seen this one yet. I never get time to read these things. That's that woman who writes about pop culture right?"

The Princess nodded and gushed, "Ya, Ms. Follywood. I read her column religiously; I can't believe she wrote about me!" Then her eyes turned darker and she questioned with self-doubt, "But what if it's crushing? What if it's a complete bomb of my column? Triforce, I'd die! You read it, Nab, please. I couldn't."

The red head rolled her amber eyes and said sarcastically, "Wow, nice to see you don't take these things too personally. Alright fine, here it goes. Just remember this isn't life and death ok?"

"Ya uh hu. Life and death and whatever. Now come on, read it!" Zelda begged urgently, the suspense killing her.

Nabooru's gaze flickered over the article as she began, "Ok ok. 'I must admit, when I first heard that the Princess of Hyrule was writing her own dating column, entitled **'The Singles'**, I was as skeptical as the next person. Owning your own country and having a private dressing room at Bloomingdale's is hardly grounds to be a good writer; especially over a topic such as romance and dating, something I was sure our own blonde bombshell had never had any trouble in. You may be able to buy everything else in this world but talent is not one of them. However after reading the first few articles I must say I was pleasantly and unexpectedly surprised. Our Princess laminates on love and loss in such a universal way that everyone can relate, rich or poor. She draws the reader in with her warm humor and snapping wit. Her articles are littered with precious little landmines of advice. If I didn't know any better, I would have believed this dating column was written by a Jane Everybody, not the heir to our throne. Princess Zelda's often-cynical views on love are refreshing from the usual 'lovey dovey' bull we are fed daily by every other media source. She tells it like it is - black or white - and that is perhaps what I most admire about our Princess. I am not ashamed to admit she has me hooked; she is a brave survivor of the single life. On the outside she may appear to have it all, the money and the title, but her column reveals she's just like any other single girl trying to find a relationship and herself. Overall, the Princess shows us that maybe she isn't as different as we all thought she was - she's human, in the end she's just Zelda and we love her for it.'"

Zelda listened without taking a breath and there was a long pause across the line before she said, her emotions unreadable, "I... I can't belief it..."

Nabooru however was less vague and she blabbered with enthusiasm, not very typical of her, "Either can I. It was a hit! Not that I didn't think it would be but, well, you know what I mean. O my Goddesses, Zel, it looks like you have a run-a-way success on your hands; you're the next Ms. Follywood! You know Ruto's going to want to plan a party, she will find any excuse to...Wow! Congrats, Zelda, it's your first rave!"

Again the Princess was silent. She was staring at the article and she re-read the sentence, "'Princess Zelda's often cynical views on love...' **Cynical** views? What's that supposed to mean? I'm a cynic? Am I really that pessimistic about love?"

The Gerudo woman shrugged and reasoned, "I think she's just saying you aren't a naive, wanna-be house wife who's been brain washed by the media to believe your only mission to get married and have two point five children and a Dalmatian. Case in point - Malon."

"No, no. She said I was "cynical", I'm a cynic. Goddesses, I didn't know I came across like that. I'm not, right? I'm not down on love, am I?" she questioned with horrified certainty. 

Nabooru sighed wearily, "I knew this was going to happen, Zelda! This whole article is brimming with absolute complements but leave it up to you to obsess over the one critique. Not even a critique, a little nit pick!"  

Zelda's pastel eyes swelled wider and she cried, "'Leave it up to me to obsess over the one critique'? O my, I am a cynic aren't I!" Before, she'd always considered herself a wide-eyed dreamer. After all, she and Malon were the romantics of the group; this newfound criticism by Ms Follywood suddenly had her questioning.

Nabooru furrowed her brow and groaned, "I'm hanging up now."

The Princess pleaded, "Come on! Just tell me, you know its true. Maybe that's why I still haven't had a committed relationship, maybe because all along I've been doubting **it**. I've been doubting love."

The woman across the other end made a dejected noise and relinquished in annoyance, "Ok fine, I'll indulge you this once but you better listen! You are not now, nor ever were, a cynic. You are one of the most believing and self-sacrificing people I know; you trust in love with your whole being so much that I would kill to have just one ounce of your faith. And the only reason you haven't had a committed relationship isn't because you're a cynic, its because so far the men you've dated have been assholes! Just because love hasn't found you yet, Zelda, doesn't mean you haven't been looking."

The harshness of her tone melted and she said, "Now bye, Zelda." Then Nabooru hung up, leaving Zelda alone to her own devices. She took a sip from her mug and frowned at the article. Zelda knew what the Gerudo had said was true and she was touched by her friend's sincere words, yet still; there was that nagging doubt. 'Do I really give love a chance?'

*    
  


He led the way, flicking the switch and sending shivers through the rows of overhead lights. He stepped past the door to allow her entrance, the large room encased in white walls and row upon row of canvas. Bradford was in his late twenties and an art professor at a local college, although he looked young enough, with his wide deep brown eyes and tan skin, to attend it. He was dressed in a black button down shirt, left untucked over his jeans, and he had a thick head of black curls that were closely cut yet just long enough to have a flare of unruliness to them. 

Bradford turned to her then, shoving his hands into his denim pockets, and smiled sheepishly. "So this is my class room slash working studio. Pretty humble I know but it serves its purpose," he said. 

Malon nodded, sending strands of crimson hair careening over her slender torso, and she began to walk foreword. She was dressed casually in khaki pants and a white tee shirt with sneakers; it had just been a low-key date with dinner at a quirky, warm restaurant and then they headed here to see some of Bradford's work. Her chocolate eyes scanned the many canvases; most were in the progress of being painted and clearly crude, probably done by students. The tall young man with the lithe build walked past her and clutched her hand gently in his, leading her to the back of his studio where there was a small huddle of easels and canvases. Some were descriptive and lavish landscapes, others abstract figures made with splashes of vivid colors against white. 

"This is all your art work?" she questioned, appraising each with her eyes. Malon held onto his hand still, it was strong and dry from washing them out so many times, a painter's hand. 

 The handsome man grinned beside her, his good looks inflames, and he joked to relieve some of his tension at having his artwork judged, "Well yes... If you like it. If not then no and I don't know what talentless shmuck did."

Malon laughed slightly too but she was too preoccupied with the beauty of the canvases to get caught up in anything else. Her voice came out breathy as she replied, "I like them... A lot. This stuff is unbelievable! I'm no expert but I have seen some art shows and these are ten times better then anything I've seen."

Bradford shook his head and said, deflecting her compliments, "You're too kind. It's all just experimentation." His cheeks tinged with red and he tried not to watch her as she scanned over his work. 

The red head's slender eyebrows arched and she exclaimed, "You mean you're not even selling these? These should be in a gallery, Brad, seriously!" Malon had never really appreciated art until some months ago when for the first time she began to actually enjoy art shows and galleries. That's were she met Brad, at an abstract convention, and he approached her and engaged her in some conversation about a painting neither of them really liked and suggested they continue over a lunch. She had to laugh at herself silently; if her pa ever found out he'd say she was getting "too big for her britches" and turning into "just anotha rich folk".

 The young man shrugged nonchalantly and pushed his hands deeper in his pockets. "I don't know... I don't think I'm all that good," he relinquished. 

Malon was slightly curious and astonished someone could be that relaxed about such a great talent. She let it slip however, remarking, "Well just keep it in mind." Then the small red head's gaze fell upon a medium length canvas a ways in the back of a woman. She was turned so her head rested on her shoulder, her long sloping spine making clear lines across the canvas. She had long wavy auburn hair, pulled over her shoulder, and the gently angels of her rear were in clear, unabashed view. Malon gasped audibly and her deep eyes dilated wide. "Woah, who's this? An ex-girlfriend?" she questioned, feeling her cheeks flush at the mere sight.    

Bradford chuckled slightly at Malon's evident discomfort and found her shyness adorable. "No, its one of the artist's model we use for our classes every Wednesday," he told her. 

Malon's eyes did not leave the picture; she followed the curves of the black strokes, looking at every detail. "Its..." she began and continued, unable to believe she was saying it, "Beautiful..." The old Malon would have found the sight of a naked woman stretched out along a date's canvas appalling and instantly ran from his studio, hot with sinful thoughts. This Malon however could not deny the natural magnificent of the woman's form, of the way she was lovingly detailed. One could tell the artist had a certain affection for the human body and took great pleasure in relishing over each line. He wasn't a perv; he was a great painter with an eye for beauty. 

Bradford shook his head and ran a hand through his mass of jet curls. "Its ok..." he admitted and his dark eyes were on Malon as she studied every last detail. The shadows of loaming easels rested on their backs and stretched across parts of their face, gliding in undulating tides. Malon's honey scarlet hair fell along her shoulders and the shadows passed over her creamy complexion, her long lush eyelashes sweeping against her high peach cheeks. "Not as beautiful as what I'm looking at though," he finally said softly.

Her eyes shot to him and she blushed profusely. Looking down at her sneakers and laughing, she tucked a strand behind an ear self-consciously. She teased, trying to disguise the flush by the shadows passing over her, "Now **you're** being too kind."

He smiled at her insecurities and Bradford reached out again to clasp her hand in his, her long spindly fingers getting caught up in his. "No I'm not. You should stop by and model for the class sometime," he told her, matching her hesitant gaze and pulling her in a little closer. 

   Malon fidgeted nervously with a strand of crimson hair and balked at the thought. Appreciating nude art was one thing, being a part of it was totally different! "You can't be serious!" she chortled with laughter although her dark eyes glittered with horror. That nightmare she'd had repeatedly when younger flashed in her brain, the one where she was called on in class. When she stood to answer the whole room burst into fits of rollicking laughter and Malon looked down to see she was completely naked! 

Bradford held her hand more securely in his dry palm, reassuring her with his touch and lulling her thrumming heartbeat. "No, you have the perfect figure and you're gorgeous. You'd overwhelm us with artistic inspiration," he told her with a lopsided charming grin. He pulled her into him gently, waiting for her to pull back and when she never did, he had her against his chest, her breath hot on his neck. His other hand fell around her slender waist, lying there lightly. 

The young woman's face sparked as she recalled being thought of as good 'inspiration' only a few weeks ago by Wesing. Now that she thought of it, lately she'd been attracted to creative men; maybe she was seeking something she never really thought she had. She ran a ranch, not exactly the most imaginative business to be in, and she never had had enough courage to pursue singing full-force. Malon's inner bravery flared, she wanted to be that young woman who took risks, well at least a couple of risks in her lifetime. She needed to feel as if she was getting some fulfillment, she needed to feel like she was growing as a person. Malon smiled, looking up into his bronze face, and whispered, "...Well, if you put it that way, OK." 

Bradford was happy she said yes but he could have really cared less right then, holding her close to him, their first kiss heavy and sinking in the air. "Great..." he responded softly, moving through the distance between them until his lips brushed against hers. It was a soft, gentle kiss, the tingling kind that sent waves of excitement rocking through your body with just the hint of a touch. 

When they pulled apart, they were both left breathless and wide-eyed, knowing this could be the beginning of something great. Malon bit her lip softly and locks of scarlet hair fell into her dark onyx eyes. "I think I should be going home," she finally said, regaining some breath.

Bradford nodded and offered, "I'll see you to your apartment."

The young woman responded, "Ok sure." Then Bradford turned and walked towards the door, her towing behind him through the sea of easels. She glanced back, looking at the woman on the canvas, and she wondered if she could ever be as carefree as she seemed to be. Could she ever be the type to overlook other's judgements?

*

Ruto strolled into work at noon, the elevator dinging open. She strutted out and down the aisle framed by desks, employees cluttering around and not able to disguise their stares at her, especially the men. She wore a rather revealing and not very appropriate outfit of a satin mocha skirt ruched at the sides and tall dark brown heels. A glossy satin business jacket in the same rich hue finished off the outfit, buttoned only in the middle to reveal enough cleavage to satisfy any hungry eye. She brimmed with a smile over her toffee tinted lips and cooed, "Hello, hello, people. Good afternoon."

Her PR people and other employees forced out smiles and chorused, "Good afternoon, Princess."

The voluptuous Zora woman swung her hips and halted before the desk of her secretary, her office a little ways away blocked off by glass walls and large pulled down blinds. "Alright, Mora, I'm here. Could you give me a brief synopsis of everything that needs to be taken care of? By brief I mean I have to be out of here in an hour for a facial," she said curtly.

The pixie like secretary with the short chopped brunette bob and a powder blue cardigan sweater nodded, her hair brushing her chin. She responded in her high, sweet voice, "Of course, your highness. The Zora fisherman at Lake Hylia would like you to attend their Summer's Catch Fest and make a speech..." She began the daily routine of listing off the people and events that were scheduled for the Princess as she canceled each one for a reason or another.

Ruto rolled her glistening amber eyes and snorted, "Impossible! Stand around all day listening to smelly men with beer guts yammer on about their fishing tales is not what I consider a good time. You'll have to tell them no; I'd rather poke my eyeballs out with a sharp stick then attend their boring little 'Fest'."

Mora began to write away on her notepad, reading aloud as she did so, "'No but thank you for the offer'..." A small fuchsia flower clip pulled back a strand of hair and her tiny cherubic face glanced back up at her boss. "The Council for the Preservation of Zora History also have raised an issue about the new development of housing high rises in the Central areas of the domain, they believe by demolishing old housing establishments we're destroying valuable landmarks," the young woman informed. 

The glamour puss knitted her brows together and hissed in annoyance, "Bah! Those rusty nails can all go screw themselves! They always have to have something to complain about. The only things we are destroying are moldy, crumbling eyesores to make way for luxury apartments." Then her eyes slid to her dainty designer wristwatch and she tapped her foot with impatience. "And I thought I told you to keep this short, Mora," she reprimanded curtly.

The little brown haired woman moved with a frenzy now, hurriedly squeaking, "Yes, ma'am, almost done, ma'am. I will just tell the C.P.Z.H. we will try to accommodate their concerns while still looking towards the future..." She jotted it down in a mad dash and then added timidly, knowing the reaction it would cause in Ruto, "Also, your father, the King, called. He'd like you to attend dinner at a business partner's house on the fifth of next month."

Ruto sighed heavily and scowled. "What does he think? I am just going to throw down all my plans to help him pose as the 'perfect father' for one night. I don't think so! Tell him to get a dummy and use it in my place, I'm sure it will serve his purpose just fine," she quipped. 

Mora again spoke as she wrote it down, "'The Princess is sorry but she is unavailable at this time.'"

The Zora royalty questioned with displeasure thick in her tone, "Is that all, Mora?"  
  

The small secretary nodded and responded, "Yes, your highness."

"About time! Now I'm going into my office for a quick moment to sign a few treaties and when I get out I want a car waiting for me out front," she said quickly and breezily wafted into her office, closing the door behind her. 

A desk clear of any clutter greeted her, it was hard to have clutter when one hardly did any work, and a small pile of papers lay in a mound on her desktop. She plopped down in the swivel chair and began to look over a few of the treaties. "Blah blah blah," she commented to herself in exasperation and began to scratch away her signature, not even bothering to read them over. She was a little more than half way through the pile, her long sinewy legs crossed over one another and a manicured nail making swirling patterns on the tabletop, when she came upon a note. It was written in delicate, quick handwriting and directed at Ruto. The Zora Princess sighed and began to read over it. It was written:

  Dear Princess, I am highly frustrated with your total lack of respect for your position! You waltz into the office at whatever time you please, dismiss every task as trivial, and give little heed to the many lives your throw-away decisions affect each day. You do not care about anything or anyone but yourself. You are a spoiled, impatient, undeserving brat! People would die to be allowed the chance to make an impact in their world, you have the power and yet you do nothing with it. It disgusts me to see you talk endlessly about all your material possessions when your own subjects will never be as lucky. Maybe this letter will wake you up and you will stop being such a fool, although I think it impossible. Let someone competent handle the task, valley girl!

Ruto's face darkened and brimmed with outrage. Her honey eyes narrowed into slits and she clutched the paper in a tight fist. Rising from her chair she rushed out of the office and burst through her door. Instantly all the employee's eyes went to her and she held the note up with insult. "Alright who did this? Who wrote this huh?" she seethed. 

Everyone was quiet, watching her and giving her puzzled looks as if she had gone mad. This only added to the woman's fury and she shouted, "Come on, fess up! You obviously wanted my attention and now that you have it, stop being a chicken shit and speak up! Come on, if you have so many opinions why don't you have the courage to own up to them huh?" She knew she looked berserk but she could care less, no one could offend her and get away with it!

Again the sea of faces were silent until finally little Mora interjected softly, "Please, Princess, we don't know what you're talking about."

Ruto glowered, not meeting her secretary's beseeching dark eyes, and glared at the room of people. "Fine, I will play your game. But I know one of you had to have written this... this trash, and I will find out one way or another and when I do... I can guarantee you that person will be fired on the spot," she threatened with malice and then stalked off through the aisle and into the elevator. Inside she crossed her arms and was dissolved in angered thoughts.

*

They stood together in the little waiting area of a very popular restaurant, accompanied by a few other couples held together in the confined space. Nabooru looked radiant, her skin aglow and the apples of her cheeks flushed. She wore long black pants that molded to her lean stretching legs and a red corset top, her back length crimson hair pulled half up and a dark band chocker wound around her swan neck. She was engulfed in chuckling conversation with her beau, Ganondorf, looking equally as put-together in black trousers, a black shirt, and a scarlet tie. His hands were all over her, at her slender waist and one at her upper arm; they were enthralled in each other.

Nabooru was smirking, her amber eyes flicking over his face. "So did someone make up that nickname for you or did you come up with it all on your own?" she questioned, prodding him on teasingly.

The man sighed and glanced down at his wristwatch. "Yup, we just went exactly seven minutes without a change of subject. I have to say, this has to be a record," Ganondorf commented with laughter.

The tall red head shrugged and a strand of crimson drifted into the corner of her lush rose petal lips. She quipped, "Possibly, remind me to call 'Genus' later." 

"No problem," he said and his face neared closer playfully, his dark ember eyes flickering. "Any chance you'd consider going for another title as the longest kiss humanly possible?" he added, a hand traveling upwards to stroke away her astray tress and it stayed there, floating lightly against her glimmering flesh.

Nabooru kept the sly grin on her face, inquiring innocently, "Two records? Wow, we might be getting over our heads with this one." She was distancing herself just far enough away from him to keep him guessing if at any moment she might turn away or kiss him, enticing him with uncertainty. 

He neared in closer still, the corner of his mouth twisting up and then dropping, his gaze focusing on her. "I hope so," he remarked and then initiated a kiss, his lips meeting hers in a deep yearning and his hand still at her face. She placed her arms at his sides and closed her copper disc eyes, oblivious to the world around them. 

"Ganon!" a voice jarred them from their revere and the two entwined lovebirds broke apart, looking over at a grinning waitress. She had medium length dark walnut hair and was dressed in the traditional uniform of a dipping cream tee shirt and a little black skirt. 

"O..." Ganon replied and a smile of recognition flitted over his lip, as he pulled away from Nabooru, less regretful then she would have liked. "Hey Paolay!" he greeted boisterously. 

 The pretty brunette grinned ruthfully and big gold hoops jutted from her ears. "Long time, no see," she responded breathily and Nabooru watched the way her gaze regarded his, the wistful memories awash in her deep eyes. Finally Paolay snapped from her reverie and bubbled, "Come on, I'll give you the best seat in the house. Right this way, please."

  Then their waitress took off, leading them into the sea of tables and gestured them to a nice booth under an overhanging light ornament. "Alright, here are your menus. I'll be right back, don't miss me too much," she teased, sliding menus under their faces and darting off again. 

Under the down pouring of light, Nabooru shot him a questioning, accusing stare and cocked one slender scarlet eyebrow. "Mind explaining that?" she said, calmly although her voice was taut to spring.

The man couldn't say he hadn't been expecting that yet he still feigned a look of nonchalant surprise. "Who? Pao? She's just someone I knew back in law school, she dated my friend," he shrugged off her inquiring gaze.

Her honey eyes flared until they were fringed with an edge of disbelief. "Pao?" she piped at the affectionate nickname and then held her menu up a little, stating with dry biting humor, "Right. Hmm this 'Foot In Mouth' sounds delicious but I think you've already had that haven't you?"

Ganon laughed slightly and shook his head, running a hand through his tamed fiery hair. "What? You don't think we dated do you?" he asked as if the idea itself were silly.

Nabooru knew he had girlfriends before obviously and she wasn't exactly miffed about that, it was the fact that she got the uncanny sense he was lying about this Paolay and her instincts had never steered her wrong before. And if Ganon were lying, there must be a reason, something he was hiding... "Who? What? Where? When? Why? If its that innocent then what's with all this act? You guys were awfully friendly to just be acquaintances..." she further integrated, not backing down.

He leveled his deep eyes with hers and said plainly and evenly, "She's just someone I haven't seen in awhile... And even if we had, I'm with you now." Then reaching his hand out to touch the top of hers, brushing her skin with his fingertips, he added with a grin, "The beautiful, the charming, the exquisite ball buster who I just can't get enough of." Then he leaned across the table and caught her stern lips in a kiss, causing a shiver to run up her spine and soften her defenses. 

"Alright ready to order."

Ganon and his girlfriend pulled away from each other to see the smiling waitress standing at their table, notepad in hand. Nabooru glowered at her as Ganon slid back into his set, matching her happy disposition. 'Why is it every time we kiss this Paolay has to barge in? I'm noticing a pattern here and its **not** the hideous wallpaper I'm talking about.' As her boyfriend went on to place his order, adding the occasional gushing comment, Nabooru made a mental note to watch these two.

Dinner went on and they chatted and laughed as usual. Paolay for her part remained mostly unseen and Nabooru's weariness was dissipating. She was beginning to wonder if maybe she was just being too overly cautious when Ganon interjected, "I have to go use the restroom."

Nabooru snickered over the lip of her wine glass and her long eyelashes flickered over her high cheekbones. "Senor Suave, your charms never cease to amaze me," she mocked, rolling her glinting amber eyes.

Ganon chuckled and tossed down his napkin on his plate. "I'm serious and would you stop it with that name already. Haven't you given me a big enough complex already?" he joked with feigned hurt stamped on his handsome face.

The Gerudo leader placed her wine back on the tabletop and raised a hand to her brow, wilting over-exaggeratingly. "No, stop! Goddesses, why must you taunt me with such manly perfection? Why!" she cried out in her best sugary-sweet voice. 

The man stood and smiled down at her. "I'll be right back, Ms Scarlet. Now don't go running off with any Yankees while I'm away," he teased and then turned and headed towards the bathrooms. 

Nabooru laughed to herself and then took another swill of her scarlet honey wine. As she did so, she watched Ganon through the bottom of her glass. Not more then a minute went by before the waitress, Paolay, headed in the same direction Ganon had gone, smiling knowingly to herself and adjusting her skirt before ducking into the bathrooms. Nabooru's eyes narrowed into shards and she heaved down her glass, stepping up fluidly. 'So he thought he could play me, eh? I knew this would happen eventually, it was all a matter of time anyway!' With that despairing thought brandished in her mind, the slender bronzed beauty stormed towards the men's lavatory. 

Nabooru didn't hesitate for a moment and flung open the bathroom door, it swung violently on its hinges. She could just picture the sight that would greet her, Ganon twisted up in a writhing Paolay, groping wildly in a stall and laughing about how well they had tricked his 'old bag of a girlfriend'. Her cheeks were tinged with anger and her hands were reflexively balled into tight fists. However they quickly dissolved at the reality awaiting her. 

Ganondorf stood over a sink, soaping his hands and gazing at her with shock. A man was using a urinal and had his back thankfully to her, his face turned to greet her however with humiliation and shock. He gasped and gawked at her. "Nab?" Ganon questioned loudly, surprise leaping into his tone. Expectedly he'd never encountered anything like this before, unless of course it was planned and they had stowed away in the bathroom together for a stolen embrace or two. 

The woman's mouth fell open and she mumbled unintelligently, "Uh..." Regaining herself enough to try to cover up, she continued weakly, "This isn't the ladies room? Whoops." The burning scarlet in her cheeks wouldn't diminish even after she stepped swiftly out of the men's bathroom. Nabooru practically collided with Paolay, who now emerged from the woman's bathroom just to the other side of the men's, and smiled good-naturedly at her. The waitress pushed down the hem of her skirt, fidgeted with an earring, and glided over to a table. Nabooru felt like a complete and utter idiot as she hurried back to their table, dropped down enough money to cover her portion of the meal, and then made a mad dash to the door before she would have to see Ganon again and explain herself. 

*

Ruto sat pouring herself over employee files, analyzing each little detail of their background checks. For the vigorous work she was dressed in pinstriped gray slacks, pointed heels, and a white silk camisole top that dripped low across her chest. Suddenly a slight buzz emitted from her phone speakers and Mora's soft hesitant voice interrupted her concentration. "Excuse me, your Highness, but there is someone on the line to speak with you - a Ms. Malon of Lon Lon Ranch," she informed her boss.

The Zora looked a little frustrated but propped an elbow against an arm of her chair and pushed away the folders. "Very well, connect her, Mora," she responded and listened to the familiar clicking of buttons.

Malon greeted in her high sugary voice, "Hey, Ruto. How are you?"

Ruto sighed heavily, "I'm at work, how do you expect me to be? Miserable!"

The red head for her part was relaxing at home, dressed in a casual outfit of a zip-up blue sweater and dark jeans, her feet only adorned in socks. She was resting on her soft pale yellow sofa, pulling a pillow into her lap and holding the phone to her ear. "I know, I was surprised to find you were still at your office. Don't you usually steal out of there after an hour or so?" she commented with puzzlement.

Ruto growled slightly and replied, disheartened, "Yes, but those, sadly, were the good old days. Someone wrote me some nasty, bitter note and now I'm dedicated to tracking the jackass down! Believe me, I will have their head by the end of the day."

Malon laughed slightly and nodded her head. "I don't doubt it, you'll do anything for revenge," she said.

The Princess grinned wickedly and stroked the desk with a long tapered finger, looking for the moment like some mad scientist stowed away in an underground lab somewhere. She declared, "Ah yes, good old sweet revenge. Some people think its low to seek vengeance, but my motto is: do onto others as much as you see fit, as long as you get the little fucks back."

 "That's so poetic I think I just might cry," the honey voiced woman snorted and rolled her dark mahogany eyes. 

Ruto chuckled huskily and then said abruptly, "Alright so why did you call? Because I have over twenty more people I need to look over here."

 Malon tucked a delicate strand of cinnamon hair behind her other ear and began, "Right well, I have started dating this really great guy. He's an artist..."

The Zora woman interjected cheekily, an arm pushed up under her swelling chest smugly, "Get ready to be poor, dear."

Malon glared and added defensively, "You didn't let me finish! He's an artist professor."

Ruto merely shrugged and said nonchalantly, "So? Get ready to be 'tragically impoverished' then or whatever they say to romanticize artists."

The young red head sighed and wedged her toes deeper into the soft sagging couch cushions. "Fine, anyway that's not why I called. See his class has a model come in every week so that they can't paint her and... Well, he asked me to pose for them this week. Nude," she finally relinquished.  

Ruto split open with bubbled laughter, resting farther against the padding of her chair and pulling her head backwards, her mouth wide open to release fits of giggles. "You! Has he **met** you yet! That is by far the funniest thing I've ever heard!" she chortled.

Malon brimmed with indignity and she shot icy looks at her wall of pastel yellow and white floral wallpaper. "Excuse me? It is not! Bradford says I'll be inspirational!" she pouted. 

The Zora royal continued in her laughter, jibbing, "I don't know how 'inspirational' you'll be while trying to wrap a tarp around yourself and running off somewhere to cry, no doubt on how much you believe you've 'shamed your mama'."

Malon grumbled, "Ok ok, if you're through with mocking me..."

"Through!" Ruto piped up, smiling smugly. 

Malon sucked up all her dignity to plead into the receiver, "Then will you please give me advice? I mean I figure, out of everyone, you're most use to the idea of getting nude in front of a crowd."

Ruto nodded her head in agreement and admitted, "True. Well I guess for me it's not that big of an issue but I'll try to give you some tips... Maybe if you imagine everyone in the room is naked..."

Immediately, the young woman cringed and wrinkled her small nose. "Ick! Even the girls?" she squeaked. 

The Zora rolled her glistening eyes and sighed in exasperation at her friend's naiveness, "Ok never mind." Then she narrowed her eyes slightly as if in contemplation and tapped her heeled foot. "Lets try a different approach, just try to think of something else to get your mind off of it like, I don't know what goes on inside a Malon type's head, I guess horses," she instructed.

Malon fidgeted with a corner of the pillow, tugging at the edge with her fingers absentmindedly. Without pause for breath, she babbled anxiously, "But then I'll think about riding a horse, which makes me think of bare back, which makes me think of sex, which makes me think of being naked... Which makes me think of standing in front of an audience of people being painted for a picture that will be a testament to time and generation upon generation can view my nude form!"

Ruto raised her brows and joked, "Wow, I didn't realize how much appeal horses had or else I would have let my mother get me those lessons all those years ago."

The young woman finally took a break to pant with air and she exclaimed, winded, "Shut up, you know what I mean! I won't be able to take my mind off of it; I'll just feel all those eyes all over me."

The Zora leaned foreword over her desk and her tone grew dry, business-like. "Mal, I guess the last thing I can tell you... Is to stop worrying about what everyone thinks. I know it's hard; we're programmed to be concerned about people's judgments, we're taught to have people approve of us. But sometimes you need to stop worrying about how people are going to see you, how your reputation will be affected. You need to say, "Fuck everyone else and what they think, this is for me!"" she advised wisely. As Ruto finished, her eyes drifted upwards to a slight crack between her door and the post. A set of deep brown eyes was staring through the gaping fracture of space and suddenly swelled, seeing Ruto's stare firmly matching theirs. Mora pulled away from the door reflexively. The Princess clenched her jaw with anger and forced out as politely as possible, although her voice was taut with an underlying rage, "Listen, Malon, I have to go. I hope everything works out ok and hey, even if it doesn't, I will go on record as saying I think its brave of you for even thinking about it. After all, you don't even wear thong underwear because you believe they're too revealing. So bravo to you and your full-monty experience."

Malon was still taking in her friend's advice, maybe all along Ruto's outlook at life had been right, if there was such a thing as a correct way to view the world. She could care less about standards and society's cold gaze, she did what the Hell she pleased and not what was simply expected. "Thanks, Ruto. That means a lot coming from you. Bye," she said sincerely and then clicked off the phone, pushing it down on the table beside her.

Ruto clicked over to her office line and said, keeping her voice controlled and even, "Mora, please come in here." 

                A beat passed before a timid petite woman entered Ruto's office. She was dressed in a knee-length, sheer layered flower skirt and a green cardigan, her short wavy brown hair brushing along her shoulder blades. "Yes, your highness?" she inquired in a small voice.

                The Zora woman crossed her legs and clasped her hands together in her lap, regarding Mora with a cold loathing gaze. "So just exactly what kind of idiot do you take me for?" she asked her loaded question with thick disdain.

                The little secretary's eyes swelled wide and she stammered, "I... I don't understand, Princess."

                Ruto's face remained stone and she continued dryly, "You don't? Well let me make it a little clearer, I know who wrote that note so obviously I'm not as dull as you believe I am, am I?"

                Mora finally exclaimed, throwing her hands up, "Ok, I did it! I admit it."

                The Zora shot up into a standing position, her palms pressed against the smooth surface of her desk and her voice rising with outrage. It had all fallen into place for her when she saw Mora peeping outside her door, listening in on her conversation to see if it dealt with politics or not. Only Mora would know the details that had been placed in that anonymous note she received, only her secretary would know exactly how long she spent really working. "You obnoxious bitch! After I've given you a job here for five years you pull something like this on me? I can't believe your balls!" she shouted hotly.

                Mora found it hard to resist backing down from the intimidating woman but she forced herself to cry out in return, "I know it wasn't right but you have to understand where I was coming from!"

                Ruto's pale brown eyes formed jagged slits and she spat, "Forgive me if frankly I don't give a shit."

                The petite young woman went on, undaunted and her face awash with despair, "I studied Political Science for four years in college, my dreams since childhood have been to change government from the inside out! Then I hit the real world, and it was like a slap in the face! I quickly realized all the good positions go to those born to power and the least scraps go to men, for me that meant I had nowhere to go. So I took this little secretary job to survive and every day I had to plod in here, had to see my dreams crumble in front of my face. And you... You just strut in and could give a shit about this domain!"

                The Princess was thrown a little off-guard at the girl's suggestion and objected heatedly, "Wait a minute, that's not true! You don't even know me, alright Mora..." Bands of light parted through the half-open slanted blinds to stretch creased lines across Ruto's taut cobalt face. 

                Mora nodded her head, her small mouse-y features suddenly catching an edge of determination. She stuck out her sharp chin and stated in her soft, melodious voice, "Fine but let's at least be honest, Princess, since that's one thing you always have been. You don't care about politics, for you it's just a nuisance, something to suffer through before you can escape to a nail appointment. Do you have any idea how much I would give for just a fucking ounce of the power you have!"

                Ruto was speechless with any form of defense for her behavior so she growled instead, in a weak attempt to win this battle, "You do realize you will be fired don't you?"

                "Yes, and I guess I want to, because staying behind a desk another minute would tare me apart. I've realized maybe my girlhood fantasy may never be but I won't be content until I change how my life is going, I need to make a difference in this world..." Mora relinquished and her small hands balled into fists by her side. The usually mild-mannered young woman was now alive with a sudden yearning and she continued, "If that means taking risks then I'll do anything. I can't blame you for being mad but excuse me if **I** am mad - infuriated - at how you can just stand by and let rich pig statesmen run this government for you!"  
  


                The young Zora met her gaze and gritted through clenched jaws, "You are not excused..." Mora turned to leave, her back to Ruto and her shoulders sagging. "But you are right," Ruto said softly, the anger in her tone thawing.

                The former secretary's eyebrows rose into twin peaks and she turned her head sharply to view Ruto with surprise. "What?" she questioned as if her ears were deceiving her. 

                Ruto sighed and stared down at the open face of her desk for a moment, a sadness drawing itself over her gently sloping features. "You are right, up until now I could care less about how my kingdom was run. I mean, my father was always forcing me into it and it made me rebel against it even more. To me, politics has always seemed like a chore. You would kill to have my power, yes...." she responded and then gazed up, stepping out from behind her desk. She went on, her eyes set on Mora with a sudden admiration, "And I would kill to have even a small part of your passion. Maybe together we could just make this work."

                Mora stuttered, her fingers flying up to tug at the hem of her thin fibered sweater self-consciously, "Do you mean... I'm not fired?"

                Ruto smirked and retorted, "Fired? Hell no, girl, you're my new partner!"

*  
  


Bradford stood before a classroom of students, each sitting behind their easel and looking towards him dully. The unconventional art teacher was dressed in paint splattered loose khakis and a white thin tank top, curls falling into his deep pools of dark chestnut. The sun-kissed young man directed his pupils, "Ok class, today we have a new model to paint."

A young man in the front row with spiked flaxen hair and pale blue eyes spoke out of turn, inquiring anxiously, "It's a chick right? Because I'm comfortable with my sexuality and everything, but I didn't sign up to stare at a man's yahoo for an hour." The ashen skinned young man with the eyebrow ring was known for his antics and the class spluttered with laughter. 

Their professor couldn't prevent a lopsided grin from gliding over his handsome features and he nodded exasperatedly. "Yes, Garis, it is a woman. In fact it is a close friend of mine so let's try to be respectful please. Malon, come on out," Bradford told the class and then looked towards the supply room door, where Malon had been changing in.

The door swung open gradually and Malon emerged, her high cheeks already a deep burning fuchsia. A paper-thin stark sheet was pulled around most of her body and her naked feet splayed out against the cool wooden floorboards. She could feel the student's eyes all surrounding her and following her as she tread over to the little stool in the middle. 

The young man known as Garis, dressed in a black tee shirt with some band scrawled over the chest, trumpeted, despite Malon's tepidness, or perhaps because of it, "Your close friend's a major babe, sir!" Again the students ruptured with quaking laugher and Bradford gave him a stern gaze.

"I thought I said to be respectful. Now get your paints ready," their art professor commanded, trying to hold back his own amusement at Malon's sheepishness. As the students began to pour puddles of paint onto their pallets, Bradford strode over to his girlfriend, meeting her in the center of the room.

Malon gazed at him and then to the ground. She chewed her petal lip nervously and whispered, "I... I don't think I can do this, Brad. I mean, this is... a whole room... of eyes."

Bradford neared his face closer to hers to comfort her with his warmth. "You'll be fine. They seem like chuckle-heads but they really are professional when it comes to art, I swear it," he reassured, a hand reaching out to brush her bare shoulder for a moment and then leave again, drifting in space.

Her dark eyes swelled wide and she spluttered, her tone hushed, "What if I'm not good enough to deserve to be painted? What if I don't live up to their expectations? Because I am not perfect and I have a beauty mark on the back of my thigh..." Malon reflexively tugged the sheet up higher to make her feel somehow less vulnerable. 

He felt a compassion to her adorable fragility and wanted to hold her then, but he resisted the urge. Instead he soothed softly, peering deep into her gaze, "I can guarantee you, you are 100 percent paint-worthy. No one expects you to be perfect either, Malon. If you really don't want to do it though, I'll understand." 

There it was - there was her way out of this. All she had to do was say yes, she didn't want to go through with this thing and she was home free. She could retreat back to the closet, back to her net of safety. But a part of her knew she couldn't, Malon knew she wanted to reach out and break free of the past her, she needed to prove to herself that she'd grown as a person. The young woman shook her head, turrets of scarlet locks spilling over her bare torso, and she responded, "No. No I will."

Bradford looked a little reluctant but said, "Ok, if you're sure." Then he turned to his class and spoke to them, "Alright, let's get things rolling." Turning his gaze back to Malon, he told her gently, "Anytime you're ready, Mal." Then he walked off to the back of the classroom, to get out of the way. 

Malon stood, stiff and unmoving. Her heart thudded deep within her ribcage, resounding in her thoughts. She just stared out at the class and could feel herself perspiring, her palms growing balmy. She tried to remember Ruto's suggestions and came up a blank; her whole mind was void actually. 

"Um... Are we painting her with the sheet on or what?" a girl with bleached hair, pulled up into a high bun with chopsticks, complained and chewed on a nail in boredom. 

'To forget what everyone thinks and do this for myself - to prove that I don't care about judgements! That's it, that's what Ruto said!' Instantly, Malon dropped the sheet to the ground, it crumpled at her ankles, and she could feel the cool air rush over her bare ivory flesh. Eyes darted over her and for the first time, she didn't care, this was her; this was who she was and she didn't have to make any apologies for it, and it felt good. 

 Garis gawked and breathed loudly, "God-fucking-ess!" Students snickered lowly and began to study Malon's perfect slender form, picturing how they would transfer it onto their canvases.

Bradford scowled at the boy and grimaced, "Garis, what did I tell you about cursing? Now shut the fuck up and paint." He crossed his slightly muscular arms over his chest and then looked over at Malon, his angry expression dissipating as an ache and confusion that ran across his chiseled face. 

Malon slid onto the stool and intertwined her legs, resting one hand on her knee and the other dangled lazily by her side. Long strands of scarlet hair fell across her breasts and poured down her curved back, her chin held high. The class was filled with the soft sounds of brushes gliding against canvases and then Garis suddenly proclaimed, "Golly gee whiz, she is so much finer then our last model. I know in the art world ugliness is beauty but sometimes ugliness is just straight out ugliness, ya know?" The young man with the gelled pointed blonde hair concentrated in part at painting the lines of her smooth body and the other part staring unabatedly at her.

Their teacher snorted and the usually good-natured man now seemed short tempered and irritated. "Deep, Garis," he shot sarcastically.

The young man shrugged and cocked a slender gilded eyebrow. "Well, sir, if you guys are just friends then you better make a move soon or I will..." he began to say. 

Before Garis had a chance to finish his sentence, Bradford dashed over and wrapped the sheet around Malon protectively. The young woman stood and allowed him to pull her towards him, holding the white tarp around her sinewy body. 

"Hey! No fair, I didn't even get a good enough look!" Garis complained, speaking up for the sea of stunned eyes. 

The man with the dark mass of disarray hair pulled Malon gently back towards the storage room and opened the door, pushing her into it. "Time's up class, start on our still life fruit baskets now," he told them hurriedly before entering the closet himself. 

As the door fell closed behind him, he could hear Garis cry in outrage, "**Apple**s? Fuck, who wants to look at apples?"

Bradford turned his back to the door to see a very fumed Malon, one hand propped against her hip and another clinging to the sheet to hold it up. "What are you doing, Bradford?" she questioned, dingy lights shown in her dark eyes piqued with annoyance. 

The young man said curiously, "Taking you out of there." 

The pretty red head's cheeks were flushed with anger and she spat in her honey voice, "Look, I just worked up the courage to reveal my body to a crowd of complete strangers and now you want to cover me up? Make up your mind already!" 

Bradford shifted his gaze to the gritty floor and then back to her infuriated stare. He relinquished, "I know, it was my idea and I'm sorry. I just... I just couldn't watch others staring at you. The smoothness of your skin, the perfect slopes of your body, the beauty mark on your thigh - I want them to be only mine. Call it jealousy if you want, but it feels like so much more. It's like... I want to be the only one to do that, and I've never felt like that. I've had plenty of girlfriends come in and model, but with you..." His voice broke uncertainly; she could hear the honesty in his tone. He went on, willing himself to continue, "I don't know, it feels different. Even if it is you getting vulnerable out there, it feels like I'm the one bearing my soul and I can't stand it."

A pause past and a sheen drifted into the young woman's eyes. She smiled softly and breathed, "That's the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me, Brad."

The young man shook his head, sending curls careening over his brow. "How is that possible? I imagine a dozen guys say things like that to you every day, I'm just some art slacker who gets all mushy over you," he said modestly. 

Malon shook her head too, gently splaying strands of cinnamon hair, and lifted a hand to hold Bradford's cheek in her smooth soft palm. She met his gaze and whispered, "No they don't." The air moved thick around them and shafts of clinging light spilled over their skin. Malon made the first move and leaned over, tilting her head slightly and gliding her pale lips against his. His hands moved slowly over her skin, to her back, and she let her other grip relax, the sheet suddenly dropping to the floor again. His touch drew all around her, pressing against the perfect forms of her body, and Malon sighed softly in her throat.

*

The sun smeared through the long windows and creased along the white walls. Ganon's apartment was spacious and simple, with hard wood floors and scarlet curtains. Crumpled articles of clothing lay in mounds along the floorboards and two figures were intertwined under the red blankets. 

Nabooru's eyes shifted open slowly, blinking into the warm light spilling over her bronze skin. She glanced over at the handsome man sleeping soundlessly beside her and smiled slightly. Resting her arm bent and up to her chin, she savored the feeling of his leg under her own and the steady pattern of his breathing. 'Imagine that. I was so worried about him cheating and now here I am, I have finally realized how silly I was. I mean, he knows how much that would hurt me. God, I was an idiot. Plus he's adorable in his sleep...' 

The Gerudo's gaze flickered over to the bedside clock and it read eight o'clock. Shit, she was late for work. Extracting her long limbs with reluctance, she turned over and pulled the sheets up with her, barely covering her sleek form as she sat on the side of the bed. The shuffling of the blankets and her movements must have stirred him because Ganon's heavy lids slid open. He yawned into the shafts of the light and ran a hand through his dismantled auburn hair. Looking over at the beautiful woman, he greeted charmingly, "Hey, so there's that hot fantasy woman who was in my dream last night." 

Nabooru was busy pulling on her undergarments and her long mane of rumpled scarlet hair tumbled down her back. She regarded him out of the corner of her eye and remarked as she clasped the back of her bra, "Where?" 

Ganondorf rolled his eyes and commented sarcastically, "Har har." Then he questioned in concern to her abandoning of the bed, "What's the matter? Do I snore or something?"

Nabooru rolled on her socks and relinquished, "Well yes but that's not why I'm leaving. I have to go to work today."

"Work shmirk. Who needs work? Come back to bed and stay here with me all day!" he exclaimed with a lopsided grin and reached over to pull his girlfriend backwards, onto the mattress in just her black underwear. She laughed and allowed him to envelope her in his strong arms, smiling up at him with feigned annoyance.

The red head said, "Maybe you've forgotten but **we** need work actually." Then she pulled away from him and sat up again, patting him on the arm as she did so and adding, "Now come on, you should get up too. You'll be thanking me later when you aren't fired."

Ganon propped himself up on one elbow, revealing a sinewy chest. "No 'awww'? No 'I can't believe you'd skip work for me'?" he inquired in astonishment.

Nabooru slid up her skirt along her long slender legs and then stood, roaming around for her shirt. "Awww, I can't believe you'd skip work for me," she said in a deadpan tone, preoccupied with looking for missing clothing.

The man raised a dark eyebrow and sighed, "Well now you're just being sardonic..."

Retrieving her blue thin knit sweater from the floor and pulling it over her head, Nabooru padded bare foot to the side of Ganon's bed and leaned over it. Smiling, she met his gaze and admitted, "No, it was really sweet of you. I'm flattered; truly I am, at the suggestion." She neared him and he leaned in to kiss her, their lips meeting into what turned into a passionate exchange. Ganon slipped a hand behind her and tried to pull her back to him, just out of sheer reflex, but Nabooru parted their kiss before he had a chance. Standing she garbed a fist full of his clothing as well and tossed it to him, commenting, "Now get up because as much as I'm floored by your cuteness and want to jump in there with you, I don't want to be the cause of your unemployment."

Ganon looked down at his clothing and sulked, "Fine but you're definitely going to have to make this up to me. Lunch at Disi's?"

Nabooru grabbed her heels and pushed them onto her feet hurriedly. "Sure, sounds good. See you at one. Bye, honey," she said and then extracted her handbag from the chair. 

"Bye Nab," he responded with a smile, watching her in her mad dash.

The woman nodded and then opened the door, briskly walking out of his bedroom and then his apartment. Ganon sighed and then laid backwards, his hands behind his head and a drifting smile on his face.

Nabooru put her earrings on as she walked to the elevator and stepped inside. There was already a pale skinned young woman dressed in a floral skirt and blouse on the lift. Nabooru smiled politely to her and watched as the doors fell closed. As the floors ticked by on the light-up switchboard above the door, Nabooru became aware of the woman's regarding cobalt stare on her. 

"You're Ganon's girlfriend aren't you?" the woman with the short wavy blonde hair said. 

Nabooru hated idle chitchat on elevators but shoved away her feelings of annoyance and smiled in the woman's direction. "Yes. Nabooru, nice to meet you," she greeted mock cheerily and outstretched a hand.

The little cherub-faced blonde grinned and shook Nabooru's hand. She replied, "Nice to meet you too. My name's Tish."

Nabooru looked ahead again and the silence passed uncomfortably for a moment. Then curiosity overcame Nabooru's morning mood and she turned again back to Tish. "So how do you know Ganon?" she inquired with impending suspicion.

Tish smirked and her glinting stare reflected in the metallic doors as they slid open to the lobby. "O we go way back," she informed slowly, her words dripping with sarcasm. "Way back."

The tall woman was still processing her words when she left the elevator and looked back, saying, "Well I'll tell Ganon you said hi."

The flaxen haired woman nodded and giggled slightly in her high honey voice, as if thinking of some inside joke. Nabooru turned around again and kept walking. As she strode through the apartment lobby, doubts and Tish's words hazed her mind. She needed to ask Tish something more or else it would bother he all day. Nabooru abruptly turned around to see the elevator doors close and sighed. Then she noticed the lighting up of floor fifteen. Ganon's floor; Tish was going up to Ganon's floor.

That was all the incentive Nabooru needed, she pushed past the stairway doors and dashed up the stairwell. All she could imagine was Ganon and Tish rolling around on Ganon's bed and laughing over how stupid she was, his crimson blankets all around them. Half way up the stairs, fueled by anger and jealousy, Nabooru tore off her shoes and carried the pointed heels in her hand. Finally up the fifteenth floor, Nabooru huffed through the door and wheezed over to Ganon's apartment. She suddenly heard faint giggling and recognized the squeal like corrosions immediately - they were Tish's laughter. Barely giving herself enough time to catch her breath, the slender woman burst through the door, glancing around wildly. All she saw was Ganon, dressed in a tan sweater and black pants, sipping coffee and getting ready to go to work. 

"Ok where is she?" she panted with flared anger, scanning over the room.

Ganon looked at her in puzzlement and cocked an eyebrow. "What? Where is who?" he asked.

She didn't even glance at him as she tore through the room, looking around couches and chairs. "You can't play dumb with me this time, Ganon! Come on, show yourself! I won't even be angry, I'll actually be grateful you showed me what a jackass he is!" she chortled.

The man watched her in confusion and then stated, "There's no one here, Nab."

Nabooru ignored his statement and kept up her pursuit. She responded just as matter-of-factly, "Yes there is. It's her, the woman I met on the elevator."

"Who? Tish? She's dating my neighbor!" Ganon exclaimed. 

The red headed beauty paused and looked over at her boyfriend with skepticism. "She said she knew you from way back," she continued.

Ganon nodded and reasoned, "That's because we dated for a while but it didn't work, she still hates me for not calling her back."

Nabooru blinked into the undulating sunlight and spluttered, "But... the giggling!"

The man crossed across his hard floor and took her hand in his, gently pulling her over to a wall adjoining his loft with another apartment. Wafts of burbled giggles could be heard from the room over and Nabooru reluctantly recognized them as Tish's. "Does that explain it?" Ganon inquired, still lingering his touch on her wrist.

Nabooru nodded and whispered, "O wow..." Pulling away from him she walked over to the couch and plopped herself onto the cushions. Staring off into space as if preoccupied with her own thoughts she said in astonishment, "I was so sure too, I was positive you were cheating on me. I ran up fifteen flights because I was sure."

Ganon stayed where he was and looked at her forlorn expression. "Nab, I've already told you I wouldn't, I don't know what else I can say. Why can't you trust me? Because this thing we have going can't work if only one of us wants it to," he said sincerely.

The red head nodded and heaved into the sofa, finally able to catch her ragged breaths. "I know, you're right. I'm trying but I can't help it. Maybe things are just too good; maybe I'm just looking for something to go wrong so I can call it off. I'm so in control of everything else but if you hurt me, it's the one thing I can't control. I can't control how much you might break me. Maybe I don't want to get hurt so I'm trying to end this now before I get too attached," she told him softly. Looking up into his face she finished, "Its so hard but I'll try."

*

 Lights strung across the white deck of the huge yacht along with silver paper lanterns, a sky studded with electric stars stretched out to meet the deep purple waves of the ocean. A dj worked his magic at a booth, spinning all sorts of old school and new hits music. Even if the party had yet to get fully underway, people already cluttered the deck, dressed to the nines in formalwear, and sipping at their drinks sociably. The woman of the night stood somewhere in the middle of the revelry, her flaxen hair spilling down her back and tucking under her chin in styled waves. (Think ala Celine Dion at the VH1 Concert.) She was dressed in a knee length white tube dress detailed with tiny sequins and delicate strappy shoes, a little silver and diamond heart necklace against her collarbone. Her face was however void of a smile; this party was like a dream plucked out of any glitzy old fashioned movie and yet the wistful sheen was not glazing her pale eyes.    

The Gerudo to the woman's side cheered, "It's official, you're the toast of the town, Zelda!" She was dressed in tailored white pants the fit her slender legs perfectly and a faintest blue off-the-shoulder tight shirt. Her long crimson hair was pulled back into a side-parted ponytail.

 Ruto watched the crowd for any worthy bachelors and purred blissfully, "I know isn't this great! Think of all the VIP places and people that have suddenly become accessible to us." The Zora royalty was adorned in a nude colored body hugging dress that reached mid thigh and showed a lot of skin, gold earrings dangling down the sides of her face. Beside Ruto claimed she would not wear white, it was way too virginal. 

Nabooru shot her an edged stare and quipped in annoyance, "Leave it to Ruto to see a great professional success as just another means to get laid."

Her friends' banter drifted in her ears and she tried desperately to plaster on a smile although it was tinged with bittersweet. There was a table close by, near the entrance of the ship, and a stack of untouched sailor hats lay there as party gifts. Zelda took one and held it up to her friends. "Here, take a hat. Don't you like them?" she questioned before offering them each one.

Ruto looked down at the offending object with disdain before gazing upwards again and proclaiming in an effort to avoid the topic, "Great party!"

The Princess placed one of her head and teased, while maneuvering her hat to the best angle on her head of blonde tresses, "Come on, get in the spirit. It's my party so I say you wear the damn hat!"

Nabooru glared down at the article and sniffed, "No I believe that entitles you to 'cry if you want to', not make us wear these things." Then she tossed the hat back onto the pile of others.

"Well I think they're cute!" All three women turned to look at the approaching red head, sporting a frilly knee length white skirt and a sheer white tank top. White sandal straps snaked up her calves and her hair was fashioned in loose curls, a big cream-colored flower spilling its petals open behind her ear. 

Zelda cried, "Malon! I knew I could count on you to love my boat theme! You look like a 'white' dream!" She enveloped her friend in a warm hug and Malon rubbed her fondly on the back.

The red head gushed, "Congratulations, sweetie! I read the article about you, boy what a rave!" Then her nose crinkled up slightly and she said with disgust, "But I couldn't believe she called you cynical."

Zelda's gilded eyebrows peaked and she exclaimed while regarding all the women, "See, I'm not the only one who noticed..."

Nabooru propped a long arm against her hip and commented with a sigh, "By obsessing you do realize you're just proving her point right?"

The blonde laughed and shook her head. "Not 'obsessing' per se, its more 'contemplating'," she reasoned.

Ruto's eyes targeted the nearest male in the immediate area, Bradford. She questioned over the lip of her fluke of bubbly, "So who's the new man, Malon?"

Malon realized how rude she had been and hurriedly introduced him, "Guys, I'd like you all to meet Bradford. He's an art professor at the university." As she spoke, her deep chestnut eyes regarded him glittering fondness and the girls' recognized that look, it meant she was falling hard.

The young man, to his credit, was dressed impressively in a navy blue jacket over a white button down shirt and khakis. His unruly hair fell over his eyes adorably and he shook their hands friendly. The tan skinned man added humbly, "She flatters, I'm really just a guy who hangs out in a university studio and is happy to get his supplies free."

Zelda smiled warmly and responded, "Ahhh, kindred spirit. I'm just a girl who hangs out at coffee shops and my bedroom and is happy to have a free laptop."

Bradford chuckled and then glanced at his girlfriend, touching her lower arm gently. "I'm going to go get a drink, you want one honey?" he asked her.

 Her lips fractured to show iridescent teeth and they could see thoughts of future parties and eventually marriage flickering in her pretty features. "Sure, champagne please. Thanks, Brad," she replied and watched as Bradford left to make his way over to the wet bar.

Ruto watched as well and smirked. "Poor but charming. He makes me rethink my 'millionaire's only' policy. Better not order too many champagnes either, I don't think he can afford it..." she admitted. 

Malon sighed and said in her boyfriend's defense, "What does money matter if he's great? He's just perfect and he has so much talent. I'm hoping I can make him realize its just all going to waste unless he takes full advantage of it you know."

Zelda shrugged and shifted her sailor hat a second time. "I don't know, that's the theory behind Ruto and we all see what's become of her," she joked with a smile.

"Good one, skipper," Ruto snorted and rolled her amber eyes. Finishing the last of her champagne, she glanced down at her sleek gold watch and growled, "O fuck, I have to go."

The Princess exclaimed with surprise, "Go? Awww, but it just started! I won't make you wear the hat, I swear."

Ruto looked just as dejected and informed them in a frustrated tone, "I have this banquet thing to go to with my father. Something to cement our bonds with the most powerful Senator in our domain."

Nabooru clutched her heart over-dramatically and proclaimed, "O my Goddess. For work? I'm so proud of you, its like our little Ruto is all grown up!"

"Ya well if my father tries to sign us up for father-daughter golf to make allegiance to some other stiff shirt assholes, so help me I'll kill him. Bye, girls," Ruto balked and then trudged towards the entrance in her high stilettos. None of them cared to ask why Ruto would wear such a revealing dress to a family dinner, I guess her father was just lucky she was attending in the first place.

Zelda said with disappointment, "Bye, Ruto. Anyone else jumping ship before we leave dock?"

Nabooru shook her head and strands of scarlet fell over her shoulder. "Nope, here for the long haul. Although I must warn you ladies, if this thing goes down it will not be like the '**Titanic**'. I'm pushing you bitches off the floating timber," she said with a grin.

The Princess smiled and mock cooed, "Awww that's sweet. You'll be in my heart always too."

The tall statuesque beauty swirled the liquid in her glass and questioned, "So how are you otherwise? Any new men clawing at you now with you're new found fame?"

Zelda bent one leg and watched as swirls of people undulated around them, trying to steal glances at her. She peered through them, at the wooden dance floor some feet away as couples twirled around on it. Link held Saphia near him and they moved in each other's arms, he whispering something funny into her ear and she barely laughing. The strings of lights reflected in Zelda's damp clear indigo eyes and she turned away, shoving down the feelings of sadness rushing over her, along with cold waves of wet ocean air. "No. No groupies yet, I'm keeping my fingers crossed for at least a stalker but a girl can only hope right. How about you?" she asked and forced out a taut smile.

Nabooru sighed reluctantly and relinquished, "Ok. I'm starting to get use to the idea that not all men are cheating scum bags."

Zelda patted her friend on the shoulder and cheered for her, "Well that's great, honey. Glad to see at least one of us isn't a cynic."

The Gerudo rolled her eyes and snapped good-naturedly, "Shut up about the cynic thing already!" Her gaze fell suddenly on her boyfriend and a cocktail waitress who was talking to him. She laughed flirtatiously and leaned in closer, the short black skirt rising even higher. "Will you excuse me?" Nabooru questioned and her eyes narrowed in anger.

"Sure..." Zelda said, although Nabooru was too irate to hear her and stormed off in the direction of Ganon. The blonde turned again to Malon and inquired with disbelieving curiosity, "So Malon, I heard about how you posed for Brad's class. Were you ok?"

Malon threw her hands up in exclamation and cried, "O Goddesses! I told Ruto in confidentiality, did she tell everyone?"

Zelda nodded and informed her, "Its her new 'ice breaker' line with men."

"Great..." the ranch tycoon grumbled and then went on, "Well it did go well... I mean, I did it."

Zelda's beautiful face became awash with shock and she exclaimed, "You did **it**? O wow, I'm so surprised and proud, Mal! That's wonderful. You weren't too uncomfortable?" Even she had to admit, she found it very unlikely she would ever do something like that. Maybe she was getting a little prudish...

Malon was grinning broadly at her own bravery and rambled excitedly, "Well at first yes, I mean it is a room full of college kids and as professional as they try to seem, you know they're just little pre-pubescent horn dogs. But eventually it was fine; I was even starting to enjoy myself. Brad however was less then happy, he didn't even let me finish. He said it was too painful, like 'baring his soul'."

The Princess sighed wistfully, "Damn, is there some place you can go to buy men like that? I'd really like to know."

Abruptly the said man approached the two women, a champagne glass in his hand. "Hey, here you go, Malon," he told his girlfriend before handing her a delicate glass. You could tell he himself had forgone the bubbly because he wasn't exactly fond of it but didn't want to embarrass the red head by having a simple beer. Bradford regarded Zelda then, informing her with a chuckle, "I think you should know, Zelda, I heard at least five men buying drinks to be sent to you."  
  


Zelda cracked in a deadpan tone, "Yay. Drunk and belligerent, that's how I always like to end my parties."

Turning again to gaze solely at Malon, his affection glimmering in his heavy onyx eyes, he asked, "Do you think I could steal you away for a dance, beautiful Malon?"

Malon's face spread into a wide smile but she looked towards Zelda, saying thoughtfully, "O I don't know, I don't want to leave Zelda all alone..."

The woman in the body forming white strapless dress shook her head and replied, "No go, I insist."

Malon let Bradford encase her hand in his as she questioned, "Are you sure?"

Zelda gave her a firm stare and responded in a sure tone, "Yes, sure as sure can be. Go before hostess craze takes me and I force you to both wear these hats." She forced out a smile and a small tight laugh. Malon nodded and then the couple headed off to dance, disappearing in the sea of faces.

The Princess now stood alone and leaned against one foot, finally allowing her plastered on grin to wilt away. People laughed and talked all around her, she felt alone and miserable. Suddenly she hated parties. A waiter approached her then and held out a tray to her. "A drink, madam, from a man," he told her and offered her a glass of foaming champagne. 

Zelda looked at the tall glass and responded, "O no, thank you, I don't think so..."

A man's voice interjected, "Take it, I'm hoping I can get you drunk enough that you find me handsome." Zelda looked up, fringes of gilded eyelashes sliding up to reveal pools of unadulterated blue. She smiled slightly, for the first time this night it was genuine. 

"Oooo... I think it'll take more then this..." she replied teasingly.

Link approached her and took the fluke from the tray, handing it over to her. He looked classically handsome in a black jacket, white button down shirt, and black slacks. His hair was combed neatly and a lopsided grin was stamped on his chiseled face. If Zelda was the picture of a silver screen beauty, he was the vision of an old time lady's man. "That one stung," he remarked with a laugh.

Zelda took a sip of the drink and tried to process the new Link. She had never seen him like this; he looked even cuter if that was possible. "So what do you think of my party? Not too superficial and stuffy?" she finally questioned, watching his deep aqua eyes as they regarded her.

He glanced around at the trappings of lights and streamers and shook his head. "No, but if one more person in a suit tries to discuss with me his stock bonds I'm swimming back to shore," he said before turning back to her and asking, "You all alone?"

The Princess could feel the other people sinking away and she responded simply, afraid if she said more she might give away her feelings in her tone, "Yup."

"Nope. Come on, let's dance," Link responded and took her drink from her, placing the fluke on a nearby table. He clasped her hand in his, her long tapered fingers twisting up in his.

Zelda resisted, pulling back on his hand. "O no, I probably shouldn't..." she protested, knowing how much she'd fall for him if they danced, if he placed his arms around her.

Link turned and without another word placed one arm by her knees and one along her back, picking her up into a cradle of his strong arms. She gasped and he roguishly chuckled down at her, revealing the old Link she knew. Even under it all, he was still that guy who she joked with and fell asleep on his couch. 

She gave herself over to her impulses and put a hand over his shoulder, the other she used to hold her sailor hat securely to her head. "Well now how can you argue with that?" she laughed.

The flaxen haired young man chuckled and responded, "I've always loved a woman in uniform."

People cleared out of their way as they made it over to the dance floor and Link rested Zelda on her feet. His hands however lingered on her waste and he pulled her close to him, the twinkling lights that circled the dance floor now reflecting in her pastel eyes. "You look really beautiful, you know that," he told her softly, his breath running over her flesh. 

"Thanks, you look good yourself," she whispered in response and allowed him to clutch her. She slid her arms to his neck and resisted the urge to shiver. 'Why do you have to be this great? Why do you have to hold me like this?' Feeling surges of watery yearning rising up, she bite them down and bleated in a strained voice, "So long time no 'sea'. Get it 'sea', 'ocean', 'boat'? Nautical joke."

Link laughed and pulled away, staring out towards the rail and the rollicking waves below. "Ok that's it, man overboard," he said.

Zelda smiled and grabbed his collar, slapping him playfully on the arm. He turned back again as she giggled into his arms and she quipped in a flat tone, "Very funny. Now really, how's life treating you?"

The Hero moved with the petite woman in small circles, dancing couples swaying around them. "Fine. Now that you're a big shot me and the little people you stepped on are going to miss you though," he half teased, looking down at her.

Zelda reached a hand up to remove her hat and hold it in her relaxed grip. "Far from a big shot, its just one review. Hardly sparkling either," she responded sulkily. 

Link's eyebrows knitted together and he questioned, "What are you talking about? I read it, it was great! That woman's in love with you, this city's in love with you, Zel."

The young woman met his intense stare and suddenly felt her heart flutter in her chest like paper-winged butterflies. 'Why can't you love me?' Realizing her own thoughts, she turned her gaze downwards again. "Yea, well, I'm not sure about that. I feel like the symbol of 'anti-love', I mean she called my cynical," she breathed desperately.

"I think maybe she means your just honest, Zelda, and sometimes that can be confused with cynicism..." he said knowingly and then continued, "But even then, if she said that then she obviously doesn't know you. Because anyone who knows you even a little bit would know you are such a great person, with so much caring and hope. The right guys out there for you, Zel, its just a matter of time before..." Zelda's eyes met his and his words drew out slower, the music seeming to stretch around them. "Before you find each other."

People sunk away, laughing faces becoming shadows that peppered the floor. Zelda now became painfully aware of each of Link's fingers as they gently clung to the hollow of her back, the wind laced with salt spray that dampened her skin and made her glisten. They were standing still now, their feet no longer willed to move along to the music. Zelda blinked away a threatening ebbing of tears and the rise of emotions sweeping up in her. 'Link is the right guy for me and I'm not the right one for him. I'll never be.' She felt his lips near her face, the deep breaths that dipped in his lungs. She could see the confusion in his face, like he wasn't sure what he wanted anymore.

Suddenly the yacht hitched foreword over a sighing wave and Zelda fell foreword, into his awaiting arms. There was no longer even a fracture of space between them and Link was faintly smiling at her. "Woah. Haven't got your sea legs yet I take it? Not that I mind of course," he said softly.

She stared into his eyes, into the doubts and confusions that read he was unsure just what to feel. "I don't think we can be friends anymore."

The words were cold and gripping as they spilled from her petal lips. Link's eyes widened and he questioned in surprise, "What? Are you kidding?"

The music had stopped by now, a brief pause while the dj fished around for more records. Zelda pulled away from him, from the inviting touch. "I mean, that didn't come out right. I think I'm moving into a different apartment building and with how busy our lives are and you with Saphia... Well I think it's honest to say we won't see each other that much," she told him with a feigned certainty although inside her thoughts shifted and ruptured like beach dunes.

Link shook his head, his face horrified at the idea. "No way, we'll just have to make time! There is no chance..." he began to object. 

"Linky! Come dance, its my favorite song." They turned to see Saphia parting through the crowd, adorned in a black dress, her dark hair falling over her shoulders. 

He regarded her gravely and responded, "Give me one second."

Zelda shook her head and uttered the words she knew he didn't want to hear, "No go, please. Have a good time." How could he have a good time when he just found out he was losing someone so close to him? 

Saphia clutched onto his arm, the bronze skinned beauty giggling and tugging him deeper onto the dance floor. He looked to her, his face fallen, and said; "I'll talk to you about it later ok?"

Zelda's eyes mirrored the white lights intertwining overhead and she bit her lip softly to hold back her sobs. She gave a regretful smile and responded, "Good night, Link." Maybe he was uncertain how he felt but she wasn't and she couldn't let herself fall in love with someone who didn't. She owed it to herself to have faith that somewhere out there was someone who she would love and who would love her back. Nabooru was right, Zelda was looking for love... and eventually love would look back. 

*

Wonderful Tonight 

Eric Clapton (Slowhand),

It's late in the evening.  
She's wondering what clothes to wear.  
She puts on her make-up  
And brushes her long blonde hair.  
And then she asks me,  
"Do I look alright?"  
And I say, "Yes, you look wonderful tonight."  
  
We go to a party  
And everyone turns to see  
This beautiful lady  
That's walking around with me.  
And then she asks me,  
"Do you feel alright?"  
And I say, "Yes, I feel wonderful tonight."  
  
I feel wonderful  
Because I see the love light in your eyes,  
And the wonder of it all  
Is that you just don't realize  
How much I love you.  
  
It's time to go home now,  
And I've got an aching head,  
So I give her the car keys.  
She helps me to bed.  
And then I tell her,  
As I turn out the light,  
I say, "My darling, you were wonderful tonight.  
Oh, my darling, you were wonderful tonight."

*

**End Note: **Ok, so this is a bad ending for any Z/L shippers but it's certainly not the 'end end', just a little twist so don't get blue. Coming up, will Nabooru get over her distrust? Will Ruto stick to her policy of working and not sleeping around? Maybe even get a real boyfriend! (I said maybe... O_~) Will Malon choose love over money and stay with Bradford or help him find a way to make his talent more profitable? Will Zelda go through with it and move out of the apartment and Link's life? Will Link miss her...

  Also I wish I could include a song for each scene! Ah well, one is good enough I guess. And o ya, Bradford is based off of someone I know in real life, how lucky am I? Brad has blue eyes though and isn't an artist though. Still, he's just as awesome. 

Last note, I swear, but the most important! Have you ever wondered what **Single** girl you match up with? Then this quiz is for you! Its over at **Quizilla**, please tell me if something doesn't work. Also I realize the words are a little hard to read, you can mail me if you don't understand something. (I realized that after I made the images and was too lazy to go back and retouch. Sorry.) 


End file.
